Fathers And Husbands: Protective Or Predatory

“Traveling At Speed Of Light” by digidreamgrafix via FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

September 2015 

names have been omitted in this post, 
some descriptions have been changed 

****************

It was a Saturday night and I sat curled up in the booth across from him wearing black shorts and an oversized top… September was finally bringing cooler temperatures and we were thankful… with that it was time to indulge in some comfort food. Couples sat in nearby booths enjoying their southern-style meals and our friendly waitress stopped by to refill our glasses of iced tea and water along with dropping off another basket of warm rolls and cornbread. A hot plate of classic meat loaf, mashed potatoes with gravy and macaroni and cheese sat before me. Seated across from me, he sliced into his chicken fried steak and listened while I spoke…

"It was in the weeks after I returned home to my parents from being gone, that he sat outside the house everyday in his Mercedes waiting… " I said, referring to my rapist, as I took a bite of meat loaf.

"Waiting for you to come outside and see him?" He confirmed.

"Yeah" I nodded as I chewed. "My dad said it was embarrassing for him, a Vietnamese guy to be sitting outside like that… for the whole neighborhood to see… the neighbors likely wondering what he was doing out there. He was more concerned with appearances than anything. More concerned with things that didn't matter like race than what truly did matter in life like people's actions." I told him with a resigned look. "He wanted me to get rid of him. I told him I could go talk to him… ride around the block and tell him to stop coming around, explain things to him." I paused and then continued…"I didn't want to be in either place... neither was a good choice... it's bad when you need a third option, when you don't have a good option for a place to live because both are oppressive, not protective. But my dad agreed to me doing that and I went outside, got in his car to talk to him, to tell him to stop coming around."

Across from me seated in the booth, his jaw set, he looked at me and his eyes flashed with anger… "What father allows his daughter to do that?" He demanded. "I would have gone outside with my gun, shot out every single one of his tires so he couldn't drive off and then dealt with him myself."

I looked down at my fork and dabbed at my mashed potatoes, swirling the cream gravy atop it. "Yeah… I went through my years of anger toward him… but prayer helped a lot… I don't feel any anger toward him anymore. On some level I blamed myself initially… I told myself I put myself in a bad situation… what could I really expect? But as time passed I realized that wasn't a valid point. Bao whom I stayed with first always looked out for me. Protected me. He never crossed a line. So people always have the power to be protective or predatory. They make that choice. And race has nothing to do with it. There are people who do terrible things and those who don't no matter what race."I reflected.


He nodded and agreed, listening intently.

"My anger was much more intense toward my father." I told him. "Rage, really. Now I don't feel anything. Just done." I told him, took a sip of ice water and then continued, back to the point. "Ultimately my talk with him didn't go as I thought it would." I said, referring to my rapist. "I really thought I could reason with him. I had returned home without any interference from him but as time had passed he didn't take it well. So I got in his car, I tried to talk to him, my intentions were good, I was so messed up from being with him… I guess what you would call Stockholm syndrome. But… he took off and got on the freeway with me in the car. He wouldn't stop, he wouldn't listen. I told him to let me out. But he wouldn't…" I trailed off.

It was like yesterday… images of I-35 going by in a streak of bright colors lit up in the night from businesses as I peered out the window wishing I wasn't behind the glass. I remember grasping the pale gray leather hand rest in a panic and pleading with him to let me go. Now my mind switched gears from 1994 to the present and I looked at my friend sitting across from me in the booth wearing a ball cap.

He shook his head and looked at me, his eyes pained and his deep voice conveying care… "You don't have to relive it… " He told me, his presence one of warmth, reaching across the table to grasp my hand in comfort. I gently squeezed it back and smiled with appreciation for him.

*****************

A daughter… whether she's a girl, a teenager or young woman looks to her father for two things… being provided for and being protected by him. Her father is by far the most important male influence in her life and her relationship with him will set the tone for how she lives her teenage years… her promiscuity or lack thereof, her choices in men and later on whom she marries. But unfortunately father's may make the mistake of pulling away… withdrawing from her life erroneously believing that his wife, her mother can fill every need that must be met. Fathers, if they have sons as well, may put their focus primarily on them hence leaving their daughters out in the cold… leaving her questioning his love, affection and care. Girls and women want affirmation from their fathers that they are worthy and valued. If they don't feel this from their dads they look elsewhere for it… unfortunately often unwittingly in the arms of another man… a man who is not a good choice for them.

A girl sees how her father treats her mother… she is watching and taking mental notes even if not cognizant of it at the time… she is learning by her father's actions toward her mother how a man treats a woman… a woman he supposedly loves. She will note when he is impatient and barks at her mother… she will note when he intimidates her mother with his fist in a wall… she will notice when he drives erratically because her mother voices an opinion he doesn't like… she will live these various scenarios of abusive behavior and will one day look for a man who is just like her father… or at least some similar variation of him.

It's then that the toxic cycle continues and another generation suffers needlessly… when love is not protective and is certainly anything but love… but instead predatory/oppressive. 

pro·tec·tor

/prəˈtektər/

noun

a person or thing that protects someone or something

pred·a·to·ry

/ˈpredəˌtôrē/

adjective

seeking to exploit or oppress others

So it begins with fathers… what they say to their daughters, the time they spend with them and how they treat their wives will define whether they are protectors or predatory/oppressive in nature. Words are important and actions are even moreso. It will determine the type of man your daughter will one day marry… lay the groundwork now for who that will be… hopefully a man who would die for her, who will protect her, who will do anything to keep her safe and knows her great value as Christ's daughter.  


10 Things A Father Should Tell His Daughter:

1. God loves you. 
2. I love you. 
3. I love your mother. 
4. I'm glad you're here. 
5. You're beautiful. 
6. You matter. 
7. What you think, feel and believe matters. 
8. God wants you to wait to have sex until after you marry. 
9. Waiting to be sexually intimate until after you marry is what's best for you. 
10. No matter what I will always be here for you and love you. 


10 Questions A Father Should Ask His Daughter:

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
2. What do you dream about doing?
3. What matters to you?
4. What makes you cry?
5. What makes you laugh?
6. What do you like about me?
7. What do you dislike about me?
8. What do you like about yourself? 
9. What do you dislike about yourself? 
10. What do you believe about Jesus Christ? 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2015                                                                                                                                                                            

we stand united together when we as citizens 

and the police remember that 

ALL LIVES MATTER 

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Modesty


When I was twenty one I believed it was perfectly acceptable/ as in there was nothing wrong with wearing a shirt tied at my waist with jeans and boots to go out dancing. I had no idea that my wardrobe choices were not in the least pleasing to God. Everyone else was doing it, as I observed whenever I went out with girlfriends.


Now, fast forward many years later I have learned so much. I could sit here and tell you that we get in return by what we advertise. In other words, if we dress scantily we are handing out invitations to men to leer and stare. But I won't… in fact, that mentality greatly bothers me. Having been raped and knowing the often societal tendency to "blame the woman" I abhor that thinking. I believe if you wear a short skirt and or a low cut blouse men have zero right to cross any boundaries… even though they might. They have zero right to cat call or make you feel uncomfortable … even though they might. They have zero right to leer or stare… even though they will. They will because they have a "lustful nature" if you will. As women, we could wear ski suits 24/7 and they'd trip over themselves looking.


But as godly women after the Lord, in wanting to please him, we should be striving to put the brakes on and control our worldly wardrobe. We want to please him and one way of many ways to do that is to take great delight in knowing we are dressing to do just that. When we accept Christ and begin to walk our path of following him we want to conform to what pleases him, not what is worldly.

 Her inner beauty only comes from Christ 

The other argument is regarding consumerism. As Christian's do we want to support a business that is fueling the moral stench of decay in our society? Businesses that provide little choices but skin revealing options are in complete opposite of God's word. When there are so many other perfectly fine options available do we really want to spend our hard earned dollars toward clothing that is bare not modest?


As women we often dress for ourselves or for other women. We get together with our moms, our sisters and girlfriends, even our co-workers and gab excitedly about the latest cute outfit we snagged on sale… with bright eyes we marvel to them and each other at all the fab stuff we've gotten. That is all well and good to a point… as it's no secret women typically dress for themselves or other women, not men… but at the same time… where is our priority? It should be God at the top and what he thinks of our choices.


Some teens and young twenty-something women will say "but all the other girls are wearing it!" when it comes to defending their revealing choices… but that doesn't really cut it as a valid excuse. As someone who believes women are perfectly capable of being leaders, of creating change where it's needed, we as females are much more powerful than we believe. What about writing a different story? When I was younger in my twenties I complained to my OB/GYN that I was responsible for taking birth control. I wanted to know why men got off the hook. She told me: "Instead of looking at it like that maybe another view would be to realize you are so blessed you have a choice. Not every woman gets that. You have that freedom." She made a valid point. Instead of saying "but all my friends wear it!" … what about saying "you can pave your own path. You don't have to be a follower. Who are you following? Why? Are societal and peer pressures getting in your way? What about you spearheading the way? Being a leader?" 


For years now I have worn clothes that are modest because I want to please God. I keep covered up. Men still stare. Yes, it's annoying. But I'm pleased to be following God and delight in it…it's not about following a set of rules or x,y,z... but I'm pleased to know that I am denying myself the worldly clothes that deter longterm holiness and great joy in Him.

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2015

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Choices: "Yes, You Can Order A Baby…" I Told Her

November 2014 

names have been omitted in this post 

*******************

The wipers glide across the windshield, each glide clearing away the tiny drops of rain speckling the glass. The sky overhead is dark and even though it's a quarter to eight in the morning it feels much earlier. Driving my daughter to school I access the freeway, accelerating to gain a spot in the busy morning line up of cars. Everything around us appears gray and dreary like the world has been ensconced in a gray shroud. Red tail lights light up ahead as blurry red warnings and I begin applying the brakes. I crack the driver's side window to let some fresh cool air in because the interior is stuffy.

"Mommy, did you know you can have a baby without getting married?" My daughters voice asked from the backseat. We had some of our best conversations while riding in the car. But this question made my insides momentarily panic and my hand gripped the leather steering wheel a bit harder like a reflexive reaction.

What the…. ? My mind automatically thought and I wondered what this was about. I inhaled and tried to use my breezy calm I'm not a freaked out mommy at all voice but simultaneously my mind raced.

"Oh, really? Hmm… you can?" I asked her, flicking my right blinker on so I could exit.

"Uh, huh… you can…" She affirmed "You can go to the doctor and order a baby."

Shock and a huge sigh of relief ensued. Apparently she had found out about insemination, sperm donors or the like… and wasn't referring to pre-marital sex… thank the good Lord.

"Yes, you're right… you can do that. You can also adopt a baby." I told her as I made the right turn into the residential area the school was near. We had just enough time to get through the car pool line and pull curbside.

"Yeah… so that's what I'm going to do I think. I think I'm going to order a baby." She replied very matter of fact like she was telling me she was going to have cookies with milk for an afternoon snack while doing her homework that afternoon.

I smiled to myself, tickled at her words… "Well, you can certainly do that, sweet pea. I don't see anything wrong with that." I replied and after some thought added… "Just always remember you have choices. You don't have to fit into a mold, you don't have to be limited by what you see other people doing. You can get married, you can stay single, you can adopt, you can order a baby, you can do any of those things… okay?"

She yawned and nodded, already bored with the subject and ready to move on. "Okay…" she said.

*****************

I knew if her dad had heard that conversation he'd be ready to glare daggers at me for giving her the green light in having a choice… in choosing to have a baby minus a husband… my agreeing she could just order a baby like a ham at the local delicatessen. He would say he wants her to get married. To find a nice guy. He would say he wants her to find someone better than him.

I focus on the fact she has choices

 instead of trying to persuade 

her one choice is the way to go

Maybe it's being a mother… maybe to be more accurate it's just being a woman. But as women we know the limits the world often tries to place on us in general… the whole list of "you should" do this, "you should" be that etc… expectations of women being demure and walking around with a smile pasted on their faces merely for the enjoyment of men's ogling eyes. Expectations that when I had a man tell me once "You would be so pretty if you smiled!" I retorted "You'd be so smart if you'd shut up!" I let my own ugly honesty hang out in that moment and even though it wasn't pretty, and I'd let my impulsive tongue loose (!)  there was truth to it… as women we aren't put on this earth to caress men's lustful eyeballs with our outer beauty.


It seemed there was always someone ready to tell you what to do… in the male sense… and how to be… once when I was in my twenties I worked for a chiropractor. I didn't believe in it. I simply needed a job.  I have since learned that staying true to yourself, actually believing in what you do is kind of important. But this chiropractor believed I needed my back adjusted. And no matter how many times I told him no he continued, he pushed, he wouldn't let up. Finally one day I snapped, told him exactly how unprofessional he was, called him an a**, grabbed my purse and walked out… him with his mouth gaping open to the floor and about a dozen seventy plus seniors sitting in the waiting room witnessing the entire scene play out with their mouths hanging open as well. I received a screaming language laced voicemail from him later for the lurch I'd put him in… as there was no one to answer the phone and check in patients all afternoon… yet no apology for the way he had behaved… in his eyes his behavior was irrelevant. I don't want my daughter to be at the mercy of any man who believes she needs to be pretty for him… that believes he can harass her, that her needs are less important than his, that she needs to hold back when she needs to speak up, that she has to do what is considered the "norm" in society's eyes and have two kids, a hubby and the picket fence, as there are so many more possibilities out there not just for her but for all girls.


What I want for my daughter is not feeling like she has to have a man if she so chooses not to. I want her to realize that although love is essential in life a spouse isn't. I want her to know that she can order up any kind of life she so chooses just like a pizza… she can make it custom to her liking and no one else's. Is that selfish? It could certainly be argued so. But I didn't have her so she could produce a life to my liking and give me grand babies. I gave her the gift of life so she could create one to her liking one day. If there is any gift I give her I want it to be the knowledge she always has choices… so far she's making pretty good ones and although that may not always be the case… I'm proud of her. She prays, she loves Jesus with all her heart, she's kind and thoughtful and she's beginning to be assertive… she has a way to go… sometimes it doesn't happen when it should, sometimes it's right on point and other times it comes out snarky with a sting … there is undeniably a difference between being assertive and having a loose and reckless tongue as this has been my own battle of plain old rebellion mixed with a case of ADHD impulsivity… but she will get there… bit by bit and in that bit by bit is God… with His guidance, His teaching, His lessons…  namely His conviction and grace…


Maybe I don't just want her to know she can make choices… but that she can make good ones… I've made so many choices I regret… that I wish I had a re-do on… we all have something… I don't believe in that "denial-filled have no regrets" philosophy… I believe our regrets tell much about us… they show the point of where we've been and where we are now… and in between is a dusty road filled with growth and change albeit painful as heck… there in regret is me in a foggy cloud, lying on a bed with wheels covered under a white sheet and hearing the murmur of another girl behind the curtain beside me say "This is my fifth abortion…" and thinking to myself instantaneously how horrible she was… how I was better than her… even in my gross state of ugly wretched sin… and yet then feeling numbly convicted because I had screwed up too… I had chosen death over life and I would spend forever regretting that choice… during that trek on a dusty road doubting if God ever really forgave me… how many times can you ask for forgiveness? And what is worse is wanting forgiveness from your baby while not deserving it… and now I wonder if the girl behind the curtain regrets too… I have never forgotten her, a face I never saw… and I never will…

Like that girl I want my daughter to know that God may not love your choices but He loves you… He has the final say… the final verdict on our lives, He is who brings beauty from the bad choices we make… He is who makes our flesh whole… who brings vibrant color to where deathly gray hung. He is who we go to in our tears of bad choices, our weaknesses, our frailties and our sore spots.


So, yes, dear daughter and girls of the world… make good choices… will you have regrets? That's like asking if you'll ever have grey hair… you will. But cling to God in the good and bad… take one day at a time… order the life you want with God's blessing, do your thing, start a business, travel the world, run a marathon, write a novel, volunteer…

And if you find someone who you love and you make the choice to include them in the life you built with God by your side…

Consider him a beautiful bonus to an already very blessed life…

Illuminated by Christ's love shown for you on the cross.


~ Jennifer Gafford (2014)
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com  

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting & sharing!

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Dear Daughter… An Open Letter To My Little Girl

Dear Daughter,


Hey, it's me…. you know… your mom? I just wanted to write you a note and tell you how incredibly proud I am of the young lady you are growing up to be. You are well on your way to becoming the strong young woman you will be one day. You've had a rough start and I know it hasn't been a picnic. Believe it or not… I was little once too and know plenty about rough starts. And yet I know with those rough starts there is victory waiting for you.


I know you didn't realize you were going to be introduced at such a young age to allergies and epi-pens and yet you have persevered. I know you weren't prepared for ADHD testing and not getting a sister like you wanted so badly. I know you didn't anticipate your family home being divided into two separate homes one day… and yet you have kept pushing forward. I know it's hard for you to vocalize how you feel and yet I'm proud of how you occasionally take the chance of letting those walls down and sharing your thoughts. I love it when you speak up on behalf of others like when someone in the school cafeteria at lunch begins talking about how different another student is… and you reply "Yep, he's different. God made us all different and that's okay." Sometimes we have to speak up... and it's better to speak with a voice that cracks than to keep silent. It's awesome to me that even though at times you may struggle, you come to me and ask what I think (you'll never be too old for that)… and although I tell you "I'm happy to give you my thoughts" I want you to share yours too… because it's important that you are able to think for yourself.


Whenever a boy is being mean to you I begin my round of twenty questions and look up his parents in the school phone directory like a mobster… Who is this kid? Who are his parents? What's his issue? Why's he bothering my little girl? Because I will protect you to no end and any little boy messing with my little girl is not doing it because he likes you as society's backward mentality wants to believe… he's doing it because his father is likely disrespectful toward women and is not setting the correct role model in the home. I won't have you growing up believing that when a boy gives you attention in a negative manner he likes you... reality is he's being a bully. Yes, he needs grace but he needs correction too and his father needs help… this seems to be a common issue today that needs serious attention.


When you look in the mirror I hope you see what I see… a beautiful little girl who has beach wavy hair, flushed cheeks and pretty eyes… I hope you don't see flaws or specks because in my eyes you don't have any… you are perfectly you in every way possible. I hope you know that you are fully capable of your goals and dreams and you can do whatever you set your mind to. I know you get your independent fiery streak from me because I see glimpses of it here and there trying to peek out from beneath your reserved surface. It can undeniably have pros and cons. It's a fine balance being a female… it's a constant battle to embrace some spiritedness and not end up becoming the anti-proverbs 31 woman... there will be days you miss the mark, you push the limits, cringing and hindsight will be 20/20... don't beat yourself up; press on and learn your lessons. I wish success for you and yet not in the form of fancy cars, maids and mansions… but a kind spirit that wants to help others, someone who if they earn more than they could ever need will use it all to help people in need. My wish is for you to always see your great worth in a humble manner and remember God's love for you… I love you but no one will ever love you more than God… no other human can fill that hole within like He can. I know you are adamant you will never ever get married and I could be incredibly selfish and say "Oh, sure you will, I want grandbabies one day"… but I won't. Because it's important that you be yourself and march to your own drum… not some guy's drum only to then wake up one day and realize you forfeited your drum for him to have his… and then to have him say "Sucker" and walk off. What you choose… marriage or not… kids or not… I support you.


I can tell you one of the most important things to be in life is genuine. People love genuine people… who give genuine smiles and emanate warmth from their heart and eyes… and even if by some chance they don't care for you… at least you are being you. The girls who are remembered as being genuine and kind in school were the ones who were nice to everyone. Everyone genuinely appreciates people like that… who include others... girl's that don't ensconce themselves into just their click but will reach out to the girl alone in the corner or the boy who dropped his books in the hall… if you're remembered in any way… be remembered as kind… which you are… I see it when you let a classmate borrow a pencil… when you buy your friend popcorn after school on fridays… when you help someone to the nurse to get an ice pack for their knee. The world needs more of that and I value what you do to contribute your part… as the little things are truly the big things.


You always have the right to say no. Saying "No" is not to be seen as mean. Practice it every day because it will be needed all through your life. Every time I watch the Bachelor and I see these wacky stunts they pull where the girls are expected to jump from the top of a building or take their clothes off for some anti-fur charity…. I want to scream at my television set. Because any "Bachelor" with any decency wouldn't let you take your clothes off, number one. He'd have more respect for you than that… I don't believe it's necessary to undress for a cause… you can volunteer your time or open your wallet just as easily. If you ever feel like you need to jump from the top of a building to "trust a guy" and get a rose, then you're in a mess and you need to phone me immediately and I will come pick your butt up… because that is pure insanity. You shouldn't have to "prove" anything to get a rose, a date, a meal or anything else. And the fantasy suite? You have zero business being alone in anything called a "fantasy" with a guy before marriage. Keep your eye on Jesus and if any man is Godly enough for your hand (and you actually want him) he will show up.


Just remember… always be you… always be content with who you are… jealousy does nothing but breed a never ending cycle of discontentment… be happy with your body, your hair, your smile and personality that God gave you… He doesn't make mistakes. If you want something someone else has… a goal, a career… that has nothing to do with them, so don't resent them for it… that's all you, your issue. So go after what you want, send those prayers up, put in the hard work and extra effort… and always remember this…


I love you with all my might… forever and ever…

and the one who loves you even more is your Daddy Almighty God.


Love you sweet pea,

Mom


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

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From Gangs To God

1994 

names have been changed or omitted in this post  

******************

“Come, we go.” Bao told me and slid out, jogging around the back of the Supra in his woven sandals to my door opening it for me. Like a gentleman, he took my hand and helped me out. I handed him his leather jacket as he was only wearing frayed jeans and a white v-neck undershirt… the weather had shifted again and clouds loomed overhead threatening rain and he shrugged into his jacket. We walked hand in hand down the sidewalk. Up ahead I saw a large group gathered. My vision immediately picked out it was Tu and his three friends waiting in the distance. I must have instinctively tightened my grip on Bao’s hand because he stopped in his tracks momentarily and half turned to me.

“It okay. Mai told me. I took care of them.” He told me under his breath.

As we neared the crowd I saw Tu and his three guys, one of Bao's close associates and a taller, new male I didn't recognize standing in the background but didn’t pay him much attention. I didn't know yet this is whom Bao had arranged for me to live with as staying with him was no longer possible and for the first time Bao's history of excellent judgement in looking out for me would be coming to an end… as this new man would be someone he seriously misjudged in character and if he had known otherwise never would have agreed to me going with. 

Focusing my attention on Tu and his guys… 

 it was clear my night of hell on the burgundy couch was 

now embellished on their faces. 

Bao had certainly taken care of them as he'd said...

They stood there in a row like a line up of battered guilt, heads hung in shame, completely silent with black eyes, bruises and open cuts on their faces resembling paper cuts of pain. They looked disheveled like they had been through hell themselves and I viewed them with disgust. They all four looked solemnly down at the concrete sidewalk under their shoes with silence. I was grateful to Bao that he had taken matters into his own hands and once again appreciated his care for me. Not once did the four guys make a peep. I stood quietly and waited to see what the next move was by Bao. 

*************

Throughout my time gone I never once went without appreciating Bao's genuine care… 

I wasn't a gang member but I lived with them having left home at seventeen
 however fleeting due to an abusive childhood environment…

 I knew that the world Bao was in was not a picture of roses, the things he did were far from honest or good and yet he always treated me like a valued person… never expecting anything and nothing ever transpiring between us but friendship. In a world where he was embroiled in sin he still was a pillar of good toward me, he looked out for me and protected me. Without a doubt there was beauty and good there... hence undeniably troubling that today so many teens succumb to the world of crime, gangs and a questionable future when they can be so much more. Young men (and women) today are continually exposed to the harsh realities of being pulled in two directions... one being how to be a man (or woman) and alternately, the societal pressures to give in... becoming gang members. They indeed face an uphill battle as they ward off peer pressure, family ties to gangs, the real need for protection, an economic need due to poverty or often simply a need to identify with something... a deep rooted need to belong that they've sadly never felt in their life. 

Identity in God... 

When these youth find themselves struggling to overcome they may find roadblocks and restrictions like living in a country ruled by an iron clad fist... there is always someone ready to dictate that they cannot pursue God... that they must conform to their ways and any opposition will be met with suppression and persecution. Yet the best thing for a struggling youth is to look at the things they are following... what are they pursuing? People? Or a higher power? As humans were all guilty of pursuing the wrong things at times but when we re-evaluate and see the value in pursuing God above all else then we know there is no greater victory. 

It's truly saddening when our youth become lost and even though many people may not be able to relate to the above paragraphs as they are on the extreme end, nearly everyone can relate to at some point having to make a choice… having to choose… between the company you keep… or following Christ.

It's at the end of chapter 15 

in Corinthians that we are instructed: 

"… stand firm. Let nothing move you." 

We can all re-evaluate our life at times… 

Who and what are we following? Are we following the latest trend? What has become our idol… much like a slithering snake which sneaks up on us before we even realize until after the fact? Whom are we taking after? Are we worshipping celebrities? It's fine to admire someone for their talent, achievements and character but we must guard against letting it become more than that and instead something obsessive. 

We are all on a path in life... on a path with others... are we on the right one? Are we on a path with people who are also followers of the Lord? Are we sharing the word of God? Are our footsteps in sync with Christ's? At one time in my life what I was pursuing was so far from Him... I was on a walk of self sufficiency and pride... of less proverbs 31 but more flesh baring and brash… back then the young man who came in my office each week to water plants tried many times to talk to me about God but I brushed him off. If someone told me back then nearly twenty years later I'd be writing about how good God is and sharing my story I would have thought they'd fallen and hit their head…  I was the one who believed the young man trying to share God's word with me was too radical, too extreme... "one of those" people...  obstinately thinking I didn't need what he was sharing with me... 

And yet I did. 

That's why I'm writing this today... because all the bad, all the past, all the old can be used... for good, for a change of hearts, a renewal of minds bringing glory to God, he loves us so much… and that the path were on doesn't have to mean a dead end... 

but instead we can choose a new path…

one that brings life.

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

It's never to late to start new, 

to say "this is not how my story will end" 

and choose another path, a better path in life 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting & sharing! 

Related Posts: 

Surviving the Fast Lane: By The Grace Of God: 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/08/surviving-fast-lane-by-grace-of-god.html

When All You Have Is A Prayer: 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2012/12/when-all-you-have-is-prayer.html

Reality Check On A Mattress: 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2012/12/reality-check-on-mattress.html

Wishes On Stars: Someone's Great Love Is Already Written For You

“Night Sky” by samarttiw via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wish Upon A Star...



"Look at the stars... it's so pretty..." I whispered to my daughter cuddled in my king sized bed with me as we gazed up at the vaulted ceiling. It was one of those mother daughter moments when you wish time would stand still... that you could freeze this moment and their small hands, toes and noses would never grow, never change and you could relish this forever. Stars in colors of green, purple and blue were projected onto the ceiling above us from her well loved unicorn Dream Lite.... stars magically changed colors before our eyes in the dark comfort and coziness of the room... the only background noise being the air conditioning coming on to cool the house on another hot June night. We laid there together side by side under the pale gray sheets quietly watching the stars change from green to purple to blue then back to green again....

"You can make a wish...." I told her.


"What should I wish for?" she asked softly never taking her eyes off the stars overhead. Her freshly washed soft blonde brown hair reminiscent of beach waves smelled like a mixture of Aveeno shampoo and Caress body wash in scents of coconut, orchid and lily.


"Anything you want." I replied easily in return.


"I want a new daddy." she whispered in the quiet of the room.


My heart sank.


I could only assume that what she truly wanted was the daddy she had to stop behaving how he was. Understandably, she wanted him to stop snapping, to stop yelling, to stop ordering, to stop twisting, to stop lying, to stop controlling....

to just stop. 

How often as children and adults do we wish we could change the people in our life? Sometimes, the changes we believe that are needed are justified and truly would make a positive difference in our lives and other's.



But we can't change other's no matter how much we want them to. We can pray to God for change and we may see it come to fruition or other times not. We may question why God is not doing more or doing anything to change this person or that person in our life. Undoubtedly it can be frustrating for us and as human beings we want answers and results.... and with that typically yesterday, as we don't usually enjoy waiting much. The answer as to why a person hasn't changed isn't always an easy one or maybe ever even realized but people do have the ability to change... especially if they are open to God working in them and readily humble themselves before Him. For through Him we can do anything.



Until change takes place or even if it never does, we can take comfort in knowing that God is with us and sees our frustration. It's perfectly fine to go to God with our hurts and disappointments and lay them before Him and ask for comfort and healing which will act as a soothing balm for our hurting hearts.



We may have faced tear jerking, heart wrenching disappointments in our life... we may want change to take place in the people in our life. But we can hold fast onto God and remember that even in the midst of the yelling, the snapping, the obscenities, the fear and the control inflicted by the earthly father in our life...

Thankfully we don't have to make a wish on a star that God is there for us.

It's already written in the stars.

God is who made them. 

It's not magic.

It's very real.

He is there.

Always and forever.



© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013

To My Readers:

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing!