2013 ~ Merry Christmas

Christmas


What is Christmas to you and your family?



For mine…  it's about prayer, fewer gifts and more thankfulness… more quality time spent together…  it's photo books ordered from Snapfish to give to family to commemorate the past year of special moments… it's mugs of hot cocoa steeped with extra marshmallows after building a snowman…  it's cries of glee at Christmas lights lining rooftops…  it's about paper chains strung across the ceiling and hand cut snowflakes on windows… it's about the American Flyer train chugging around the base of the Christmas tree in the background as "Christ whose birth the angels sing…" plays from the stereo in the kitchen… it's about gingerbread houses decorated with small hands and laced with a whole tub of frosting and m&m's… it's about reading the bible together and my children singing "Happy Birthday, Jesus!"… 



Perhaps for your family it's those things too…. maybe it's a time of much loved family traditions passed down through the generations… maybe it's honey baked ham, potatoes and asparagus followed with great grandmother's homemade pecan pie… maybe it's charades, silly antics and a bottle of wine with plenty of laughs to go around… maybe it's a pancake breakfast, fleece pajamas, karaoke and silly Santa hats…  maybe it's about making new traditions as your life changes, as your family changes…



Perhaps it's a time of closeness, of slowing down a bit, wishing you could freeze time…. but instead taking the alternative… a mental snapshot of the sweet scenery around you… of your tiny nephew giggling with anticipation at his first bite of a Christmas sugar cookie, or your grandmother's quiet thankfulness that you thought of her as she sits in the passenger seat beside you and "Home for the holidays…" plays softly from the car radio while out enjoying Christmas lights… maybe it's the glow of the candle warming your daughter's pink hued cheeks as she sings "Hark the Herald Angel's Sing…" in church during the Christmas Eve service…



Or maybe it's about presents and making sure little Johnny has just the right gift under the tree after an endless string of stores, frustrations and navigating congested traffic… maybe it's about popping an Advil because your head is throbbing from too much noise, too much stimulation and one too many drinks just to get through the dreaded family dinner… maybe it's tears coming to your eyes that your loved one is not there to spend Christmas with who has passed on and leaning on God for comfort and strength… maybe it's thankfulness you have a job, thankfulness you just got promoted or just got an interview… maybe it's being grateful for having food on the table despite your circumstances… maybe it's being thankful for good health, beating cancer and good friends…maybe it's about difficulty and growth… maybe it's about change and resilience… maybe it's about cherishing these last few days of 2013 and pressing forward to the new year because yes, better things are ahead…



No matter what Christmas is to you and your family we know who this day is really about:


Jesus Christ


He wasn't born in a mansion, a palace, or a two story home laced in finery and crystal… he was born in humble surroundings… a manger…  a feeding trough was his bed… he was wrapped in worn cloth to keep warm…


He was sent forth by God…  His one and only Son.


Our gift?


It's not under our Christmas trees adorned in ornaments and lights…

It's not brought by Santa dressed in a red suit and pack thrown on his back…

It's not bought at a store filled to the brim with overrated frivolous merchandise…


It's the greatest gift of all…


It's the gift of eternal life. 


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013 

To my readers: 

I pray you and your family have
 a very Merry Christmas… 
one of special moments that bring you
 together in prayer and gratitude… 
in closeness and love… 
and that the upcoming year 2014 
brings abundant blessings to you and yours. 

Bless you! 

              To My Readers: 

               Thank you for reading, 

              commenting & sharing! 

Behind Closed Doors: Who Are You?

Do you pour a little something on the rocks?
Slide down the hallway in your socks?
When you undress, do you leave a path?
Then sink to your nose in a bubble bath?

My oh my, you're so good-looking
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
But I've not tasted all your cooking
Who are you when I'm not looking?

I wanna know
I wanna know
I wanna know

Do you break things when you get mad?
Eat a box of chocolates 'cause you're feelin' bad?
Do you paint your toes 'cause you bite your nails?
Call up momma when all else fails?

Who are you when I'm not around?
When the door is locked and the shades are down?
Do you listen to your music quietly?
And when it feels just right, are you thinkin' of me?

(song by Blake Shelton)

Who Are We? 

Who are we when we are all alone behind closed doors, (when only God is looking) or just spending time with our family, etc? 

God sees who we are

We can't compartmentalize our life into neat, organized sections where God is only present in certain areas and then wonder why we don't have peace. 

We can remember that God wants to be involved in every detail and aspect of our life! He wants to be involved in our career, our schooling, our studies, our dreams and goals, our dating, our relationships, our marriage, our parenting and more! He wants us to reach out in the tough times and the seasons we sail through without a glitch. We don't have to limit what areas God is involved in nor do we have to wonder if we should ask Him about this or that... the answer is unequivocally "Yes!" 

God Sees Everything... 

God sees how we interact with our children... how much time we make for them, how much we are on our cell phones and "Hmm" at our children because we are too digitally distracted by a gadget. When He convicts us of this distracted behavior or spending more time cleaning the house, watching tv, shopping or surfing the web than spending time with our loved ones we need to move into a new (better) direction with that nudge of conviction. 

What God Is Not Doing... 

God is not condemning us but teaching us, bringing awareness to our situation so as to bring accountability. Awareness brings accountability which brings the knowledge that there is a need to change. Our children, our spouses and our life suffers when we don't take action upon conviction from God. When we are moved to change and ask God for help with changing, great things can happen which has a domino effect on others. 

God sees how we spend time alone and whether it includes time spent with Him. He sees whether we are greedy with our time in general and with Him. He is jealous for us. He sees when we don't make time for our spouse and make work an idol, when we don't date our spouse and make them a priority after Him... when we don't take the time to invest in the person we've made a covenant with, to make genuine love to them and take the time to communicate with them on a deeper level rather than the superficiality of many relationships. 

Self Reflection...

How are we spending our time? Are we willing to acknowledge God in all areas of our life instead of just the convenient times like church and prayer at dinner? Are we open to His taking the lead and also His correction? How open are we to surrendering to Him? Or are we gripping on with tight control? Are we walking in pride because we have everything "taken care of" in regards to certain sections of our life like our career, marriage, etc? What areas do we believe are superiorly "fixed" and fine?

God Gives... 

God wants us to relinquish all areas of our life to Him... we often don't want to rely on Him or wish to wait, so we get grumpily discouraged like a kid who has to wait for a Popsicle at the end of a run. We tend to want everything yesterday... (insert a 3 year old's stomp and bottom lip stuck out) hence the fleshly desire for instant gratification... but this isn't pudding in a box, it's God's timing and work in us.... in His time which is often much slower than ours... albeit sometimes gratingly slow in our minds. But that's okay.... because God is faithful, slow and steady, unfailing, honest and good... even when we aren't behind closed doors, our sin seeming so cringe worthy under our microscope of self examination filled with misguided shame, regret and defeat. 

The next time we are alone painting our toes... in a bubble bath, reading a book... driving along the freeway... we can take a few minutes. A few minutes to spend with God knowing that this time spent with Him is nourishing and essential like the air we breathe, the water we drink and the bread we eat. 

The next time we are with our kids and they say "Daddy, Mommy... Look!" on the slide at the park, or making a silly face, showing off their latest Picasso masterpiece, dunking a basketball... we can drop the "Hmmm's", ditch our phone, step away from the computer and  engage with them thus honoring God and the children He gave us in a time so fleeting it disappears in the blink of an eye.

The next time our spouse gives us a disappointed look when we've been on the phone all evening with work as they idly pick at their dinner, or lay beside us quiet and sad as we tap away at our laptop, or alternatively as we resignedly sigh "never mind... it's not important" as they rush off to another "important" business dinner, meeting or flight... we can all choose to act upon feeling convicted by patterns beginning to set in. These "small signs" are not just signs... they are red warning flags that if the detached behavior continues deeper damage will be done which grieves God... He wants a meaningful, close connection for you and your spouse not one of detachment and separation. 

Path Of Progress... 

We can ask God to convict us, to surrender to Him, to ask Him to lead, promising to follow and although we will certainly have set backs on the path of progress we can live victoriously... 

knowing that God sees who we are 

and thankfully He loves us more 

than anyone ever will! 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013

               To My Readers: 

               Thank you for reading, 

             commenting and sharing!

An Ambulance = A Fighting Chance & Hope

It's late at night…. 

between those hours of nine and midnight that I hear sirens wailing in the distance... on their way to someone... an ambulance soon to arrive on the scene and give aid, help and most of all... 

HOPE 

  We all need it at some point or another. 

Hearing sirens in the still of the night, in the midst of a quiet house after everyone's gone to bed and there's not any background noise from a tv or radio to subdue it brings it to my attention front and center. The flashing lights and siren  are not symbols of tragedy, of fear, of despair to me but of hope... pulsating hope that's not been put out but that shows there is someone who still has a fighting chance. 

Because... 

Not everyone gets an ambulance. 

Not everyone gets aid. 

Not everyone gets help. 

Not everyone still has a fighting chance. 

My sister who was killed by a drunk driver didn't get an ambulance. 

It was too late.

Years ago I used to cringe when I'd hear the sirens of an ambulance but now I pray... in the siren itself is a call to send up prayers because I realize whoever they are they still have a fighting chance... prayer always has the ability to make a difference in someone's life. 

We never know when it might be us needing a call for help, a helpful hand, a small window of need that could be filled in the form of prayers sent above. 

In the blink of an eye things can change so suddenly. In the blink of an eye our life can take a turn for the better or worse. We are never guaranteed tomorrow and yet in that we all stand a fighting chance to make today great. To make today something special to remember. To make TODAY be the beginning of the best chapter of your life. 

In the blink of an eye we can lose someone we love and although it always takes our breath away, it always jolts us to the present, to sit up and pay attention... we're always undeniably struck by how unexpectedly life can change so quickly but yet in that shock why should we be? We aren't given any guarantees, we aren't handed a letter in writing promising so many years or a winning ticket guaranteeing our health, youth and life... these are all fleeting and numbered. 

No matter how much time we have left in this life... whether it be a little or a lot we can all stand in victory knowing we are taking that chance to do great things, to love our families, to love our friends, love our children, to reach out and simply say "thanks for being you", to love a stranger... we still have a fighting chance to change what we don't like in our lives, what isn't pleasing to God, what isn't producing fruit.... we can still become who we are meant to be, we can still choose to live a life in which we drop the mask, the poker face and instead be ourselves... we can still choose to love freely, to not hold back, to fold into our spouse's embrace and whisper "I love you, this moment and our life together", to call that person you've been meaning to call, to reach out to those you've put on the back burner, to tell those you love those three little words... "I love you."

You still have a fighting chance. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013 

            To My Readers: 

             Thank you for reading, 

           commenting and sharing!

Related Posts: 

An Open Letter To Judge Jean Boyd: 

Ethan Couch, Drunk Driving and Words Of Love To The Families

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/12/an-open-letter-to-judge-jean-boyd-ethan.html

A Season Of Change: Sensing God's Presence 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/07/a-season-of-change-sensing-gods-presence.html

Grieving = One Of The Most Basic Human Needs

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/06/grieving-one-of-most-basic-human-needs.html

In-Law's & Approval

 “Couple Sitting Of The Couch Having Problems In Their Relationship” 

by David Castillo Dominici via FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Approval: the belief that someone or something is good or acceptable.

In-laws...

We may (initially at least) desire their approval. 

But in reality the idea of in-laws may not be picture perfect and far from it. 

The word in-laws alone may conjure up images of two sides screaming it out on Dr. Phil as he assesses the friction filled dynamic to offer up some sense of sage advice for all involved. 

Whether it's a father in law, sister in law, brother in law or the often cursed mother in law.... in-laws can be a challenge to live in harmony with... to put it nicely. 

My own marriage was riddled with meddling from my in-law's that seemed never ending and truth be told, was. 

As a young woman when you first marry you may have idealistic expectations of family gatherings.... you may picture yourself helping your mother in law make the fruit salad, helping your sister in law bake a pie etc at Thanksgiving each November or laughing at family gatherings over a glass of wine or pouring over family photo albums with the warm and fuzzy feelings you wish and hope for. 

Instead you have issue (valid) with something your in-laws have done 

And all of this could have been prevented with a little thing called boundaries. 

Exasperated, you may turn to your husband with hands in the air "What the heck is going on?!" You may exclaim incrudeously. He may shrug and point out that she is only trying to help. 

"Help?!" You cry... "Oh My God... that's not helping. That's interfering, meddling and just plain rude." 

If he does not see what you see is an issue this is when the situation becomes incredibly much more difficult. If he is not willing to admit his mother needs some boundaries then your issue with her will translate to an issue with him. 

I remember feeling incredibly frustrated and thinking when I was first married "Why doesn't he grow a pair? I mean, seriously.... get some balls!" 

Now I will say that the issues with my in-laws grew to gigantic proportions once we announced we were pregnant. Announcing we were pregnant was met with a "Maybe it will turn out retarded!" followed with a cackle reminiscent of an evil witch. 

Stunned, I stood there speechless that anyone would have such ineptness and mean spiritedness. Who are these people? I'd always think... and yet if I voiced any opposition about anything they said or did it would be twisted to "Well, you are too sensitive." or "She's so whiny." to my husband. And their favorite one was dished out with a dismissive shrug, "Well, you'll get over it."

(I didn't know at the time I was dealing with emotionally toxic individuals who gas-lighted, projected and made me truly believe their awful behavior wasn't really them but me being too sensitive.)

Moments like these continue for so long and so often you may begin to think your own family looks pretty normal by now even with whatever hair raising dysfunctionality they bring to the table. I mean, at least you are used to their dysfunctionality... these new people? Not so much. 

We had only been married about three years and my mother in law was constantly advising how to parent our newborn and I was fed up. Thinking she clearly needed something constructive to do with her time and since she was a widow, I signed her up for a dating service online. Great idea in theory perhaps, but obviously not well received. I highly wouldn't recommend going that route. 

What I would recommend if you are having issues with an in-law.... 

Try to be the bigger person. I know, I know, that may be like pulling nails but the truth is... when we marry, on some level we want our in-law's approval. We want them to like us. At first we may be willing to take a lot of... ahem "poo" to feel accepted into the inner circle. But as the marriage progresses and we as women become more confident in our roles as wives and mothers we may find our mother in laws advice more off putting and critical than helpful. Holding your tongue is best if the issue is something minimal like she doesn't care for your new haircut. Picking your battles is wise, and should be saved for deal breakers (like she's putting your children in danger such as letting them walk on railroad tracks in which someone must speak up). Setting boundaries in a firm way is best. When you feel your mother in law is pushing your limits (and buttons) just say "You know, that sounds nice, we'd love to stay but we are going to have to leave at the time we said because my parents are anxious to see the kids too."

Your husband. It's important you talk with him about how you feel. If he's a Mama's boy and believes his mother is behaving just fine and appropriate... if he states "I don't have a problem with her", then you have a really big problem. He needs to acknowledge your stance and needs and wants for the relationship and family as a whole. It's technically his role and place to stand up to his mother and say "Mom, I know you mean well and want to help, but we've decided to go with such and such or do so and so...." If he is not willing to do this and set a boundary in a nice and loving (and consistent) manner I would advise marital counseling. 

It's extremely important that when we are dating someone we mesh with their parents. If they treat you luke warmly, act as if you are invisible, say cutting and rude remarks or act inappropriately... stay alert to any of these red flags. They will make their initial first impression of you and if they decide they don't like you their opinion likely won't change over time. Even after you marry they may be gunning for any reason to put pressure upon their son to ditch you. If you believe your in-laws have a huge issue with you while dating it may be wise to reassess your relationship with the man you are potentially planning to spend the rest of your life with... 

Is he willing to go the extra mile to protect your relationship? 

Is he willing to cleave to you and make you his number one priority after God?

Is he willing to actively set healthy loving boundaries with his parents? 

Do you have anything in common with his parents besides him?

Is there purposeful love being demonstrated between his family members? Or is everyone filled with friction and turmoil? 

When a hurt has occurred is there apology and forgiveness? Is it discussed or swept under the rug, dismissed or trivialized?

As a newcomer they shouldn't view you as a threat but as an additional family member embraced into their circle. Each side should feel included and the husband's family should not take priority over the wife's or vice versa. 

When we don't feel accepted and know that we are not what our in-laws forsaw their son marrying and they make it clear to us... that can be extremely disappointing. But here's the truth: 

You are not defined by their lack of approval.

We can pray for the relationships in our family regarding our in-laws and hope that each heart will be softened, that each will be sensitive to each others feelings and at the end of the day each will treat the other how they would wish to be treated. 

As we all know, unintentional hurts may occur within a family (we are human, not perfect) but if overall we are each attempting to be sensitive to how we would feel if someone attempted to treat us like an outsider or less than.... we can create a happier, healthier, loving family. 

And at the end of the day that's what a family should be. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013 

               To My Readers:

                Thank you for reading, 

              commenting and sharing! 

The Cost Of Bad Company

“Soldier Man Back” by mania room via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do not be deceived: 

“Bad company ruins good morals.”   

- 1 Corinthians 15:33

We are in a constant battle. 

A constant battle with the devil. 

It is unfortunate but reality. 

We must suit up and cloak ourselves in armor to fight spiritual warfare. We have many weapons of destruction we can use against the devil and one of them is knowing God's truth. Knowing God's word and having a personal relationship with Him is one of the most important ways to protect yourself. When you know God's truth you are less likely to fall into the tricks and traps of the devil's lies. 

It's imperative we believe, we have faith in God and we can achieve this by changing our internal dialogue we have with ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves "Gee, I hope God has this. I sure hope He's going to pull through for me." We can assert our faith and say "I KNOW God has a great plan for me and He will help me see this through!" 

We can change "I hope" to...

 "I KNOW!" 

The more you tell yourself this and believe it the more amazing things you will experience in your life. You will be less tempted by sin, less negative, less doubting. 

We CAN win this battle but sometimes it's not just us that is fighting the devil. What if someone else is bringing the devil into your life picture?

What if your spouse has a friend who is negatively influencing his or her life thus also yours? I have upon talking to other's found this to be a somewhat common issue in marriages and in families. 

Each person's social circle that they choose for themselves is a reflection of who they are. Unlike family, an individual's friends are of their choosing. They are the "family" they choose for themselves. Friends reflect our true character, our morals, our values and our spiritual life. So what happens when a spouse has a friend who completely goes against the grain of what YOUR expectations and values are for your marriage and family? It's a serious problem. It is indeed a threat to your marriage. To your entire family. 

If your spouse has a male friend who believes it is perfectly acceptable to engage in illicit sex, who drinks and drives, who uses women as objects to satisfy himself sexually, who goes to strip clubs, spends money excessively, who doesn't hold marriage as a sacred union then what are the chances your marriage will survive? It's not any different for the woman who has a female friend who thinks it's perfectly fine to cheat, use her sexuality to climb the corporate ladder and turn to alcohol to solve her problems. 

This is why it is so incredibly important to wear a suit of armor. We must do everything we can to protect ourselves, our marriages and our families. It is up to the spouse to be the strong one and take a stand. Assert yourself and tell your spouse "I value you and our marriage too much to let the devil come between us. I will do everything in my power and faith through God to protect our marriage."

Sever the friendship that is tainting your life, your marriage and your family. When we marry we make a life long covenant with our spouse not our friends. 

A constant negative influence of sin and how you handle it with God's help will eventually contribute to whether your marriage and yes, even your family will break or make it. It takes a very strong person to do that. You may argue that standing alone is very hard when taking the easy route may be preferable. But remember, you are never ever really alone. God is right there beside you. Jesus shed his blood for you! He's ready to hand you every weapon you need to fight back and stand in triumph. 

We don't have to hope for a win. 

We can know we will. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2012 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

Related Posts:

Is He A Sociopath? 20 Signs 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/11/you-may-be-wondering-if-hes-sociopath.html

Drunk Driving: When "It" Happens ...The Unspeakable Truth

red wine bottle by simon howden via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Loss Due To A Drunk Driver 

If you've been there you understand.

It's like anything. But if you haven't it's much more difficult...you may feel sympathy and sorrow for a person going through something like this but like anything it can be difficult to fully comprehend what they have endured unless you have yourself.


It's not something that's really talked about much. Even today. Sure you see snips about it on the late breaking news or occasionally a statistic here or there but for the most part it's not discussed.


People in the general public cannot begin to fully grasp what goes on behind closed doors when dealing with it and the tiniest of everyday occurrences that continue to irk you day in and day out.


It's not the alcohol that is the issue.
It's what may happen once an misguided person decides to drive after consuming a drink.


When I go to dinner with someone new it tells me a lot about them by what they order to drink. It tells me even more by what they say when they order something to drink. When I hear "Well, let's see what I want to drink...Hmm, how about a bloody mary? I need to get a few in me to loosen up."

I cringe.


I'm learning so much everyday since I began this journey and what I'm learning continues to surprise me. People in general don't like discussing alcohol. Oh sure, they love discussing the drink menu, the funny moments in the state of a buzz they've had, they love the camaraderie and the laughing till they snort and the nights they never want to forget ...if they can remember them.


But they don't like hearing the sobering truth.

Because it sucks.

It's not fun, it's not laughs and it's not pretty.


The truth is getting a phone call at midnight from your parents. The truth is talking to the officer on the scene of the crash, the truth is going back to bed but not really going back to sleep because your whole mind is literally screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! This cannot be happening. Not to you. Not to your family. It's always "someone else's" family this happens to. Somebody you don't know mentioned on the news. But the truth is there again at 6 a.m. when you have to throw on sweat pants and a jacket and drive to your sister's to tell her the news. The truth is the entire five minute drive there you cuss about how you have to tell her THIS TRUTH and you don't want to do it. Because you are about to change her entire life. And so you cuss and cry the whole way there. You curse God, you curse anyone you can think of for this hell happening.


You even curse your baby sister. For getting in that car.
With a drunk driver.
Because you love her more than anything and would lay down your own life for her.


But she's gone. Just like that.


In an instant a nightmare begins.


And it all started with... "I need a few drinks to loosen up."


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2012 

Related Posts

An Open Letter To Judge Jean Boyd: 

Ethan Couch, Drunk Driving & Words Of Love To The Families

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/12/an-open-letter-to-judge-jean-boyd-ethan.html

Drunk Driving: Losing My Sister & Finding Hope In A Dark Place

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2014/12/drunk-driving-losing-my-sister-finding.html