Friday, September 13, 2013

Sex & Honoring One Another

“Dishonor Honor Computer Shows Integrity And Morals” by Stuart Miles via 


As soon as he laid eyes on her he knew he was attracted to her... the way her chocolate brown eyes flecked with specks of emerald green met his across the room... the way her long side swept bangs graced her brows and she half smiled half smirked at him with genuine warmth and yet possible mischief giving a glimpse of a spirited personality. She was someone of sweetness, a kind soft heart that made him draw even closer to her. He felt an electric chemistry between them when they talked and he would catch himself smiling to himself when he thought of her... he wasn't just physically attracted to her beauty but mentally as well.

“Couple Near Fireplace” by marin via 

As the weeks, then months went by and each encounter was better than the next, as more depth was found in their late night conversations over coffee and tables for two... as the seasons changed from chilly to warm over iced tea on patios under twinkling lights.... as time moved along they found themselves in an increasing temptation to go beyond stolen kisses between sips of wine and passion filled embraces.... 

They both knew already despite unspoken words their relationship could and likely would progress to marriage. They had every reason to believe their love and affection for one another would continue to grow and yet with that love comes responsibility.... 

Responsibility to honor one another. 

We need to guard against allowing any future patterns of sin taking root in our relationship with the one we love. If we have intentions or hopes however small as a seed to make someone our wife or husband one of our responsibilities is to love, care and honor them far before we ever reach the altar. If there is an absence of honor can there be love? We need to guard not just ourselves and each other but the future of our relationship. 

We can remember to look at the future, not just the here and now

We want to ensure that when we marry our relationship is free from regret, free from impure acts and selfish actions that drain our relationship, that take away and are not fruitful. Where there is fleshly desire there is the risk of sin and Satan will do everything he can to tempt us before we ever say "I do" to ensure our future union is one riddled with specks of sinful behavior and the grief that goes with it. 

We know that we are weak. As humans we are far weaker than we could ever imagine and far more susceptible to succumbing to the temptations of lust than we think.

We can stand firm in self discipline and flee from temptation in our relationship.

We can make it a priority to set boundaries not just for ourselves but out of love for one another. Saying "I won't let this go any further, let's hold off because I deeply care for you" tells and shows the other person they not only have your love but respect and they take it seriously. In one fire-hot impulsive "gotta have you now" moment that is fleeting comes possibly permanent consequences.... 

Possible regret afterward.

An emotional tie to one another.

A possible pregnancy. 

A man who has not honored a woman during their courtship and instead pressured or allowed pre-marital sex to occur has not led in love but instead erroneously in the flesh, in lust and in sin. If she becomes pregnant with his child and he advises her to have an abortion he is not leading in love but darkness. If he consults his friends for advice of "what to do" he is not leading in deep rooted faith, standing firm in what God's desire is but instead uncertainty, shaky ground, fleshly fickle advice. His friend listens and immediately tells him to "get rid of the problem." 

And so he listens and tells her they must get "rid of the problem." 

She follows his misguided advice and though despite her own uncertainty of what to do, her looming fears, her belief that women should be allowed to choose, her sense of trappedness... immediately afterward she feels deep regret and conviction. She realizes that she didn't guard her heart. She knows God gave her the tool of self discipline, of choosing light over darkness, fruit over death, during those late night moments... yet she seemingly left her tools it in her back pocket. Her relationship of "love" is now splotched with sin, regret and possibly growing resentment. 

He didn't protect their child. 

He didn't protect them. 

And yet she didn't either. 

They can't seem to get back to where they once stood. The relationship may feel scarred. They may subconsciously feel some sort of draw or soul tie to one another after being linked together in their sin... now feeling tied to one another in some inexplicable fashion however indescribable. 

We can vow to do things right the next time, to step away from choices that God doesn't deem fruitful and that our sin doesn't have to have shame attached to it but that by the grace of God we can move on and live so incredibly blessed that He loves us no matter what.... that He loves us each and every day despite being undeserving and us vowing to honor Him every day here forward.

Ladies, guard your heart and your bodies. 

Men, guard and honor her.... 

your future.

© ~2013 

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