GPS-Grace Power Strength: 12/29/12

Saturday, December 29, 2012

When All You Have Is A Prayer

names in this post have been changed or omitted
1994

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When all you can do is ....

PRAY

The man became louder and began yelling at Bao from across the counter, pointing at him, yelling obscenities and waving his hands erratically. He lunged across the glass countertop and grabbed a glass beer bottle slamming it against the metal counter edge. Beer foamed like a mini volcano spilling everywhere as bits of amber glass flew and I turned my head, shielding my porcelain face with my long brown auburn hair and hands. He raised the broken beer bottle in the air like a trophy with it’s jagged edges and laughed psychotically at Bao. Hearing all the commotion Trong hurried up from the back and quickly stopped in his tracks when he saw what was playing out. With his slight build Trong stood there motionless in his baggy jeans and brown t shirt watching as Bao reached in his black leather jacket and withdrew a Glock 36, his eyes dark, pointing it squarely at the man who had been laughing manically like a hyena. Suddenly all was quiet. “Get out.” Bao told him. The man’s laughter came to an abrupt halt. The man swiped his cigarette pack from the countertop, took a step back and held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, you got it. “ he said all gentile like Bao had just won a civilized game of poker and slowly gestured toward the door that he was leaving as he backed toward it.

I remember that night like it was yesterday.

When you leave home at seventeen and live with a gang even for just awhile, it's like playing Russian Roulette. You never know what the next day will bring. The next hour... sometimes the next minute. I say thanks every day I survived that time in my life. A time in my life that most people in my life know nothing of. A time in my life I worked diligently for eighteen years to hide from friends and family. But hiding it cost me. Hiding my experience while I was gone and how it made me the person I am today cost me closeness to others. It cost me relationships. But ultimately it cost me giving something very valuable until now....

HOPE TO OTHERS

We all have the ability to help others, to give hope to people in our lives when we share our past tribulations. It unites us all even if our experiences are not exactly the same. We can all relate to feeling completely trapped or filled with despair at some point in our life and realizing all we have at the end of the day is God...

and a prayer.

But at the end of the day...

That's enough.