Wednesday, August 6, 2014

When Loyalty Is Absent A Wedding Ring Means Nothing



Summer 2014 

******************


Clutching my black planner and notebook in my left hand… my summer bag hanging on the crook of my right arm… I made my way through the crowd murmuring happy late morning greetings to each other. Gliding slowly through the sea of people mingling, my eyes searched the room for a seat... taking pause to exchange smiling hello's with several people I knew and introductions made to a few new friendly faces. The room was quickly filling up… all the seats were taken so I made my way carefully to the back of the room where long banquet tables presented sandwiches, fruit, and iced tea.


It was then while my brown eyes glanced around in search of any extra chairs along the back wall our eyes met. He stood over to the side of the room with a couple other people… he was average height and build, in a jacket and slacks… light brown hair and piercing eyes… his gaze stayed steady on me then turning to his peers, said something I couldn't make out and excused himself. I looked inquisitively for a wedding ring and upon seeing one gracing his left ring finger I saw him heading my way. He strode right up to me and asked how I was… extended his hand and introduced himself… inside I intuitively bristled but nevertheless my face smiled and I shook his hand firmly… he offered to go get me a chair, I thanked him, then I immediately excused myself to get something to drink… my gut telling me to keep my distance from him.


It was after the class was in session… him sitting in front of me… continuing to glance back in my direction… yet patting the back… then rubbing the back of the attractive blonde in front of me… I cringed inside. As I took notes from our instructor and tried to watch the demonstration on the screen at the front of the room I was distracted by his behavior toward her… him touching the top of her head, leaning in close to her and whispering something under his breath in her mass of blonde hair… her low laughter emanating from within… I shifted in my seat feeling extremely uncomfortable, glancing around to see if anyone else was noticing this open display of affection… he was undeniably married and yet was pawing all over her. Even though violence solved nothing I couldn't help but think if I was a man and her husband I'd be tempted to punch this guy. I observed him checking out each woman's derrière as they slipped past him… feeling disgust rise within, I would bet money his wife wouldn't like his hands on this woman either and as I watched it continue my thoughts did too… wasn't this was one of the things wrong with society today?… boundaries seemed to be often blurred… especially in the workplace… no wonder there were so many infidelities linked to work or work related events… classes, workshops, happy hours were all potential breeding grounds for less than professional behavior ensuing… if both parties are single… well, then to each his or her own… but married? The reality of potential disaster is great.


I see people wearing wedding rings today and when I see them I wonder if the person wearing it values what their ring represents… a few of the predatory mindset may certainly view rings as a challenge… but hopefully most folks view them for what they are… an outward expression of a covenant with another person… sacred vows taken… in the name of love. After having had the large diamond, the glint, the twinkling adornment on my own finger… I know that without love… without loyalty it means virtually nothing. It's ironic how an expensive ring can suddenly be deemed worthless in one's eyes upon the disheartening realization that it's representing a facade… a false love that isn't really love at all… but instead a sham, a joke.


A wedding ring speaks nothing 
about the union between two people…
But a couple's behavior speaks 
volumes about their loyalty. 


It can be bewildering how is the complicatedness of adulthood… the relationships failed and the mix of emotions… how we may yearn… long for a simpler time… a time when we were younger and love was simple, it was easy, it was without all the disappointment that comes with being an adult. Love notes adorned with the handwriting of our childhood, Valentine's exchanged in class… hand cut hearts, messy from adolescent scissor cutting not quite skilled in graceful curves… the sweet simplicity of a young life where if you said or wrote "I love you"… you honestly meant it… and anyone who messed with you on the playground got ran off… anyone who called you names, pulled your pigtails or french braid was told to "cut it out" … a time when stickers, lollipops and folded notes were expressions of great love… they were all we had… as children all we could give… and in our eyes they held great value. Maybe that's the problem… maybe we've forgotten the value of the little things… the value of simple… how a pipe cleaner, a piece of string tied on our finger and sealed with a kiss mean so much more when backed up with loyalty… these tiny things… these representations of love surpass any expensive solitaire diamond when fused with infidelity.


I don't know about you...
 but if I had to choose… 
I'd rather wear a pipe cleaner,
 a piece of string… 
a twisty tie on my left ring finger 
and have a true committed love 
than a glittering rock than means nothing. 


So to the future...

The one with the twisty tie, the cut out heart, the ring pop…

And with a heart full of loyalty… 

when life is storming and raining down on us I will gladly share my umbrella with you... I'll take your strong hand in mine and in step we'll take the sidewalk together… rain drops from Jupiter surrounding us… grasping your hand I'll look at you and smile... just as we skip the puddles and hurry inside the door closes... rain may pitter patter on the roof but inside were safe... life's storms can have the world while we have each other... 

when I see you pushing yourself, extending yourself beyond your limits and doing the awe-ingly impossible I'll take pause... when you push and exert strength in ways physically that builds on your health and adds years to your life it is incredibly attractive… I'll join you and yet to each his or her own personal race toward the satisfaction of great health… aren't we to be each others undying cheering section for without loyalty the race has already been lost… 

when I glance up to see your deft hands typing something on the keyboard and you look lost in thought I'll walk up and lean in... whisper soft love on your ear and caress your shoulders… your love shines brightly when I'm with you but it's in our absence that people see it… emanating from our hearts for each other… as loyalty is most noticeable when one of two is missing… 

when you catch my eye and give me that look of "there's my teammate" across the room… I'll silently smile mega watts at you and inside my heart will be shouting "Go, babe!" in all you do to help the world become a better place… and in those moments of when I have self doubt you will whisper in my ear and say "You can do it…" It's in those quiet moments of being wrapped in your arms like a comforting down blanket that reflection sets in… I adore your idealism and yet see so much strength in how you handle reality.

when praying I'll take your hand in mine… treasuring what's to come, knowing this isn't the final place we will walk… but one day in Heaven amongst not just golden sidewalks but beautiful lavender fields and grassy knolls peppered with cherry blossom trees… for you as well look to the long term not the immediate… we know nothing is too insignificant to pray for… and praise is never underrated… we will be yoked together… going to the same place… one of eternal beauty and peace…

when those midnight moments pop up… tucking my head under your chin… your scent on my face… love beating in our chests and being comfortably knit together like a warm pretzel... that our loyalty for one another reminds me of an anchor… it keeps us grounded… and we don't have to have each other but we choose to… because love isn't given out of an obligatory requirement or force but because two people have chosen to share the love and hope for one another's soul…

when were tired and worn… exhausted from this marathon called life… we will sit clasping hands and our love will hold more meaning than anything financially gained… we will have lived a full life… a comfortable life… a life of meaning and truth…enjoying the explosion of spring color and the fruits of our labor… gardenias, althea's in bloom and sedum sprouting… all our hard work will have come to pass… and yet despite all the roses, all the lilies, all the hydrangeas…  in that setting tangerine hued sun the best gift you and I could give is our constant loyalty…. tied up in a ribboned bow on my finger… priceless and yet so incredibly substantial… the stuff heady dreams are made of and yet for us it all came true.

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 


May you always have loyalty,
 as when you have it... 
you also have love 






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