Whether you've never been married, just broken up from a long term relationship or have recently gone through the big "D"… there is something to be said about being fancy free.
Any female I encountered during the course of my divorce whether I had just met them or had known them for years... if they were divorced they would tell me:
"Oh my gosh… it's scary now… but just wait. You're going to love it! I love my single life."
Just as there are positives and negatives to everything in life, if you're struggling in finding the silver lining regarding your newly single self, fret not... as there is something to be said about looking at the bright side.
10 Perks To Being Single:
1. Living An Independent Life.
Maybe you knew you were doing the right thing filing for divorce or breaking off a long term relationship that had gone south or even an engagement that left you feeling less than engaged but more like running the opposite direction. Yet in that… your new found single-dom left you needing a relaxative of some kind because gasp(!)... (insert panic) you were wondering how you would handle reverting back to single status. This has forced you to now figure out everything on your own and maybe it freaks you out. But take a deep breath… all will be okay… the benefits longterm will far outweigh any discomfort right now. You. Can. Do. This.
2. You Can Do What You Want.
If you want the bedside lamp on till midnight? Done. You want to eat oreos in bed while thumbing through a magazine till ten o'clock? Done. You decide to paint your toes at nine o'clock and watch a chick flick? Done. No one is there on the other side of the bed complaining how it's too bright, you're eating like a pig and knock off the noise and toxic fumes, would you? It's just you and now you can do whatever you please.
3. Comfortable Underwear.
4. There's No Groping.
You might miss sex… but the groping? No thanks. The "hey, come here!" grab technique (as alluring as that is, I know) is no more. You can change your clothes, take a shower, climb in bed and so much more without worrying that any second his approaching arm is about to reach out and reel you in like a fishing line… <cringe>.
5. There's No Sharing.
You don't have to share your fries, the mini Nothing Bundt Cake you picked up on Friday after work, sending you scampering to the car like a delighted six year old (yay!) … nor do you have to share the last of the pizza or anything else you love.
6. Dinner: You're The Boss.
There are no more of these long winded conversations where you say to your husband: "What do you want for dinner?" and then he says: "Oh, I don't know… what do YOU want for dinner?"… one of you suggests: "Let's have such and such."…. and one of you replies: "Ewww! I'm not eating that!" Ugh. Then there is the other scenario… you made a fabulous dinner and slaved over a hot stove all afternoon, even making dessert too. He gets home and you serve the labored meal only to discover he ate a late lunch at three o'clock and isn't hungry. Classic. Now you're angry, citing his inconsideration for not phoning to say: "I won't be hungry. I ate a late lunch." If you hadn't cooked he would have been starving, guaranteed. This is by far one of the most annoying scenarios especially for stay at home moms. Men, take note… call your wives. When we don't have to deal with evenings like that anymore… Hallelujah! Victory dance! When you're single you get to decide what's for dinner and when to eat, ensuring there's no more dinnertime drama.
7. No More Relaying Plans First.
You no longer have to tell people "Well, let me ask my husband first" or "Let me talk to my husband about that." Couples do need to be on the same page and discuss things for sure… but being single that whole discussion is avoided. Your sister asks if you're free to see a movie Saturday night… you check your calendar… you're free, so yes! Being single cuts down on so much "Just a minute…" and "I'll have to get back to you."
8. The Bed.
You get the covers to yourself. The bed to yourself. The pillows to yourself. Sweet dreams.
9. Travel Is Easier
Traveling when married means finding agreement on where you both want to go… maybe he likes the mountains and you like the beach… maybe he enjoys driving and you prefer flying… all these things do affect your relationship, how and where you travel to. But being single, travel is now about fulfilling your bucket list… what's priority for you? Where do you want to go? What cultures and areas do you want to learn about and experience? If skiing in Colorado wasn't your thing when married maybe now you can finally explore Santa Fe, visit Portland or fly overseas to Europe or Asia. It's time to book your desired destination.
10. Improved Social Life.
You have more time for friends and going out. Likely if you've been through a break up or divorce you need your friends more than ever… but you also realize you've really missed them… marriage took up a lot of your extra time and energy, leaving little left over for meeting up with friends. Now you have that extra time and as you sit in the booth with them at Bennigan's sharing in delicious spoonfuls of a brownie fudge sundae between laughs… you are reminded that like the cherry a-top the whipped cream… friends are the extra special topping… they make life even sweeter.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
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