names have been omitted in this post
October 2012
*************
With shaking hands I dialed my mothers number on my cell phone and waited while it rang. She picked up and I spoke "I have proof he's been unfaithful. I'm filing for divorce."
Stunned silence ensued. Then she replied she'd be right over. I hung up and stood there clutching the phone, my mind racing and my heart pounding like it would burst from my chest.
When she arrived fifteen minutes later I opened the door. I started to speak but instead ran to the bathroom consumed with dry heaves.
I was sick to my stomach.
My body was shaking and I felt like my whole world had just been tossed on a tilt a whirl.
I wanted off this ride from hell.
Betrayal
It's not pretty.
That night ironically the book my daughter wanted to read at bedtime was about Jesus and ....
Betrayal.
When I came to the page illustrating Jesus on the cross and how he was betrayed, my daughter touched my arm and asked "Mommy... what does betrayed mean?"
I paused. Tears wet my eyes. It touched too close to home. Why this night? Of all nights I had to read this book and answer this question.
I reminded her of how a little girl at school had recently been rude to her. I explained how when someone is blatantly rude to you at least you know where you stand with them. You know if they are repeatedly rude to you for zero reason that they dislike you, whatever their personal reason or issue may be.
But... what if someone who you thought was your friend... someone who had treated you kindly to your face, had given you the indication you could trust them, that you could confide in them and you fully believed they had your best interests at heart. What if you believed all these things but later found out they had not truly been your friend due to negative behavior(s) toward you behind your back? That they had turned on you? Betrayed you?
I asked her which friend she would rather have? The answer was easy she said. The true friend.
As difficult as it was to have that conversation with my daughter I'm glad I did.... it was such a teachable moment. It's during the times of trials we learn the most.
I reminded her that Jesus would never betray her... that He loved her more than she could ever imagine...
that He was the most loyal friend she would ever know.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2012
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