What is appropriate?
We can look to the bible for that answer in the New Testament. The word "unclean" is used to describe sinful behavior that is disgusting in nature and the opposite of what one should pursue in a Holy life. Fornication is a sexual act done outside of marriage. To covet is to have improper desire for someone else's wife.
For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person,
nor covetous man, who is an idolator, has any inheritance
in the kingdom of Christ and God.
- Ephesians 5:5
So a married woman might ponder and ask herself why her husband would press her for sexual acts that are not in keeping with what God would wish for a married man and wife to share. A man who is angry or put off that his wife will not participate in such acts does not have her best interest at heart. A man of God would not put his wife at risk for disease, pain and harm. A husband is placed by God to be a woman's protector at all times. (This is essential and we must tell our daughters this.) Why would a man request these risks of his wife under the guise of a "sexual expression of mutual love" when it clearly does not represent that?
A godly man waits for sex until marriage
Selfishness and Flesh.
This is sin. If one has to wonder and question if what a spouse wants to do sexually then it must be displeasing to God. Husbands and wives should always be certain and rest assured that any sexual act expressed between them is right with God, otherwise it is sin. Pressuring a spouse to do something they do not believe is right with God is not following his word.
Sin begins with desire. Acting upon desires we know we shouldn't act upon but begin to feel justified in doing anyway is one of Satan's biggest lies and strategies to sway us.
Is he a godly man?
It's so important that we have candid conversations with those we date and might potentially marry. We need to have the conversations that are awkward and make us blush. Because we need to make sure we are on the same page with the one we will marry. It is better for a man and woman to have an honest conversation about what they believe God deems is a sexually acceptable, positive and loving act within a marriage than to exchange vows and then wonder why their spouse does not share the same views. Dating involves getting to know many many aspects about the person we are interested in and attracted to. I naively believed once that just manner's made the man. But a gentleman is not only defined by how often he opens your door, pulls out your chair or offers his coat on a chilly winter night.
A godly man is who:
Opens his bible, studies it and applies God's word to his life.
Protects you at all costs.
Put's your needs before his own.
Listens and values your point of view.
Is of calm demeanor.
Is respectful and considerate.
Secure in who he is and know's his value is in Christ, not of worldly things.
Can lead but does not control.
Wants to shower you with adoration, love and sexual fulfillment that is a reflection of God's word.
The man who can do all these things is the one who puts God first.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2012
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