“Man Crouched And Holding His Face” by Tuomas Lehtinen via FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The Narcissistic Sociopath.
Maybe you want revenge on him or her.
We all naturally want justice in some form for the terrible things that happen to us or our loved ones.
It's part of being human.
Maybe you drive along the highway in deep thought or sit awake at night thinking of all the ways this evil one has wrought havoc and pain on your life… still in the recent throes of disentangling yourself from he or she you may allow your mind to travel to the darkest corners and depths wondering what wonderfully ill and terrible outcome could some higher up bring down upon them… or even just by chance... whether it's being hit by a bus, a speeding train, falling off a building or even being cheated on as they did to you… sweet revenge on the narcissistic sociopath may not be too far from our dreams and fantasy.
******************
names have been omitted
in this post
"You know that scene in the James Bond movie Casino Royale… the one where he's stripped, strapped to a chair without a seat and his balls are beaten to a pulp?" I murmured.
"Yeah. I've seen it." He replied.
"Yeah, I had day dreams of that happening to him." I told him.
"That must have been quite cathartic." He mused.
"It was." I affirmed.
"With each post I read and saw how he'd treated you… he treated you like a whore... women don't cost men money. Men are happy to take a woman to dinner because they enjoy their company. I guess that's what sets apart boys and men. What he did made me boil with rage." He told me.
*****************
We may eventually find our way out of the intense anger of what the narcissistic sociopath did to us… we may find through the support of therapy and friendships… even through time that healing is indeed possible. But for those who are fresh from escaping a hell like no other… what may often seem like a prison sentence of eternal lifelong death… we know that the thought of wanting the orchestrator of evil to pay for his or her damages unto us and even our children… is never too far from our mind.
When the imbalance of injustice is so great it only makes sense that we as humans want to make things "right". However… we can use our power for the positive… wielding our rightful anger to be used for good we can move forward fueled by it. Moving forward and living well is honestly the best revenge regarding anyone who has done us wrong… but especially in regards to a narcissistic sociopath's heinous actions.
An empathetic person may want revenge in the initial aftermath of the disentangling of a marriage between them and a sociopath… but there is no way to touch them… it would be a waste of perfectly good energy and time… because the truth is… they don't feel remorse thus they won't be affected by your vengeful tactics no matter what you do.
They want you to be so heartsick over not having them any longer, so broken over the pain they put you through, so incredibly unable to move on in life that you simply can't no matter how hard you try. They want to watch and laugh as you squirm at the antics they continually pull, they want to smart with glee as you nearly pull out your hair at their maddening skills… they want to be tickled pink and amused that you're running back to them, sending them forlorn emails and hopeful texts and yes, agreeing to joining them at dinner with their newest supply as one big "happy family" however sick it really all is. They want to continue to hold that power over you… to be thrilled with the high that comes from it… the inflated ego it swells in them… that yes, you still want them… no matter how poorly they treat you… no matter how terrible they behave… like a sadistic animal they keep reeling you back in for more, the narc believes out of his or her over inflated ego that you won't ever let them go… they are wanting to dominate you, annihilate you, desecrate you while you continue the sickly co-dependent dance of hoping for their eternal affection and love.
One, two, three, they gonna run back to me
'Cause I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep
One, two, three, they gonna run back to me
They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave
'Cause I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep
One, two, three, they gonna run back to me
They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave
Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me
Like ghosts they want me to make 'em all
They won't let go
Like ghosts they want me to make 'em all
They won't let go
My ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me
Like ghosts they want me to make 'em all
They won't let go
Ex's and oh's
Like ghosts they want me to make 'em all
They won't let go
Ex's and oh's
Elle King - Ex's & Oh's Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Every time you begin to waffle, maybe begin to waver and hope for a reconciliation… just stop… ask someone to slap you with a splintered ruler… demand a reality check... because no amount of shiny temporary goodness he or she spews at you will forever hide the stinking decay of reality with them underneath. Or maybe you still don't know what you're dealing with… still in the whirlwind spin of bullshit… trying to figure out just what exactly it is that keeps you going in circles with this individual… if you are experiencing confusion with the person you love… that's not normal… love is clear… not clouded… it's best to seek therapy and begin your healing… which leads you to a new chapter… a better chapter… living your best life possible.
The Best Revenge?
1. Going about your day and suddenly realizing you haven't thought about him or her in hours, days, weeks, months, etc… and smiling to yourself because you realize the thoughts of them interrupting your day are becoming less and less… fewer and farther between… and that is a victory.
2. Realizing and then living no contact in regards to he or she (at least the majority of the time if you are co-parenting). That no contact is truly for the best (it sends he or she a message that you will not be their supply even in a limited fashion) and will only serve to help you heal that much faster… finally peace, calm, solitude and nurturing are yours and you never have to apologize for treating yourself with the care you deserve.
At some point wishing harm, retribution or demise
upon the narc may instead be replaced with the thought of:
upon the narc may instead be replaced with the thought of:
"Go away… you stay over there,
I'll stay over here and I'll forget 99.9%
of the time that you even exist."
I'll stay over here and I'll forget 99.9%
of the time that you even exist."
3. Smiling and not letting he or she think for a minute life isn't great. It may seem cliche to say it… but it's true… life really can get better after divorce… once you're past all the yucky initial grief and transitioning… once life begins to fall into place in a whole new way… it can be better than ever.
4. Owning your power… we have learned so much… we have been through hell and survived… and come out the other side thriving. We know the signs of someone sociopathic and at the very least narcissistic. We know also to listen to our gut and stop doubting ourselves… we know to study ACTIONS not sweet words alone. We have the ability to leave at anytime… to leave anyone… if a new relationship doesn't pan out or we find ourselves doubting this is the one for us or even whom they claim to be… we can own our power in independent decision making skills… and leave. We don't have to invest anymore time in someone who has treated us as an option or releases crazy. We don't have to be a victim… each of us are victors.
You treated me like an option,
so I left you like a choice
5. Some folks, both men and women don't want another relationship after being united as one with a narcissistic sociopath… and that is okay. But for the rest of us who go through a passage of time and healing and would consider dipping our toes back in to date and explore the possibility of love… true love… with someone who has a kind, empathetic heart… is it worth it? Absolutely. Take that chance, take that risk… the saddest thing in the world would be missing out on someone amazing and always wondering "What if?"
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2015
1 Peter 5:7
Cast Your Cares On Him
Because He Cares For You
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