Friday, October 10, 2014

30 Signs: He's Not The One

30 Signs He Is Not The One: 

1. He's on a hook-up site not a dating site.

2. He professes that he wants a classy woman on his dating profile then upon checking out his photos you see him wrapped around two scantily clad women. Delete.

3. He seems to go MIA. One day you're receiving texts that make you smile and reply back. Then poof! He's gone and you get zero explanation… you're left wondering how many others he's done this to. Move on.

4. He only sees you at places like your condo or his house. He doesn't take you out in public.

5. He doesn't introduce you to his friends or family.

6. You catch him checking out other women.

7. He's on the fence. He can't decide what he wants including you. Make that choice for him.

8. Mixed signals… one minute he seems interested. Then not so much. A man who is truly interested in you and developing feelings for you pursues, period. He doesn't waffle.

9. He's critical of you. Some teasing is fine… but if it's mean spirited, if you're not laughing as well… if it's picking at your appearance… show him the door.

10. He's not straight with you. He refuses to talk about his past. He's hiding something.

11. You're not sure if he likes you. Again… he's on the fence, his actions are inconsistent. You should feel secure from the get go.

12. How does he handle stress? Does he freak out? A lot? Do you see signs of instability?

13. When he says he's going to do something does he do it? If he's going to pursue a goal or dream is he taking the steps necessary to make it come to fruition?

14. You go to him with a concern and he shuts you down. Stonewalling is not communicating, it's a control tactic.

15. He sets a standard for you yet… that he isn't willing to do for himself or for you. He expects happy to be smeared on your face, he expects you to exercise and eat healthy, he expects you to go see that awful guy movie you both know you'll hate. He doesn't exercise, he gorges on junk food and refuses to see that new chick flick you want to see. It's time to say adios.

16. He expects sex and you don't believe in it before marriage. This isn't something that can be compromised on. Stick to what you believe God wants for you.

17. He only has bad things to say about his exes. This can be tricky. If someone only has one ex… or just two exes… let's face it… they haven't dated much. But beyond that… if everyone on their list is described as "crazy" or a "you know what"… then the common denominator is him. Maybe he treated them so terribly they began to act a little coo-koo… or maybe he has terrible skills at choosing healthy partners. It may take some digging to figure out what the story is.

18. He treats wait staff terribly. He's short with them, he ignores them, he tips bad or doesn't at all… he's demanding or demeaning… one day he will treat you just like that, guaranteed.

19. He won't admit when he's wrong. Admitting he's wrong or was hurtful means immediately acknowledging so and not having someone have to point it out or convince them.

20. There's little to no appreciation shown for what you've done. You baked him a homemade meal for him, you took him out to dinner for his birthday, you bought him tickets to that game he wants to go to… yet he says little to nothing.

21. He's quick to anger… he blows up, he instigates road rage, he is moody, he uses intimidation tactics like throwing things or punching walls or furniture to shut you down… he's hit you or pushed you… verbal abuse, emotional abuse… he won't take no for an answer… all red signs you need to cut all communication and move on quick.

22. There appears to be inflexibility on his part. It's his way or the highway whether it's where you go on vacation, where to eat, etc… it's fine to bend… but not bend over. If life is always his way… if you have to give and give and give… and you get nothing in return… that screams of imbalance and it's time to move on.

23. He doesn't get along with his family. This, like the exes can be tricky ground as well. It may very well be the case that his family has a few unhealthy nut jobs… so how do you know if they truly are toxic for him to be around or if the issue really lies with him? It may take some time to wade through… keep your peepers peeped and your ears tuned to anything that causes your eyebrows to raise.

24. You feel smothered and you need some fresh air. It may be that he is around too much… that his texting is incessant and his calls are making you want to hit ignore and wait just a second… is that his car that just circled your block? This smacks of control and a dose of crazy. Restraining order, please.

25. You find your friends being continually put on the back burner, your sister is ticked, your exercise routine is out the window and suddenly your mom no longer gets calls… he monopolizes all your time and you need balance. It's time to have a talk and if that doesn't fix it it's time to take your life back.

26. Everything is a deal to be made. He bought you dinner and now expects some action. Um, no. Tell him he's barking up the wrong tree and send that dog home.

27. You want a Saturday night in to scrapbook, watch t.v. and have a glass of wine in your pj's. Or maybe you really enjoy going to quilt shows or gardening. He makes fun of you and puts you down for it. Not cool.

28. He gaslights you. He tells you that you look terrible then denies it. You find yourself questioning reality… it's not you, it's him and his crazy hanging out. Run like the wind.

29. There is a cheapness that runs deep in his pocket and he refuses to break that bank open. It won't get better… he will get worse.

30. He's chained to Mama and it doesn't appear that the umbilical cord is going to be cut anytime soon. Run. He will not change… he will not cleave to you… he is so immeshed in her bosom you won't be able to find him. She can have him.

© ~ 2014


Any behaviors that we see when 
dating will typically become ingrained and worsen over time… 
so whatever is irking you
 now will be magnified a zillion 
times down the road. 

This post can also be reversed as signs "she" is not the one for guys. 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 


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