It's the big day…
You're moving in with your boyfriend.
I was there…
I did that…
and let me tell you... I was so misinformed.
When life became way more unbearable than I could bear…
Living under the same roof with my father (a second time) became increasingly frustrating to put it mildly and becoming pregnant I hightailed it to Colorado to reside with my boyfriend (one day ex-husband).
I look back at that time period now and wish I had made much different choices than what I unfortunately did.
One of them would be to have not moved in with him.
One lesson I would share with young women that I've personally learned is that we often erroneously believe that moving in together before marriage doesn't hurt anyone… that it really doesn't matter. I wore an engagement ring on my left hand he had promptly placed there after learning news of my pregnancy… the illusion of wearing an engagement ring makes it almost a "sealed deal"… in your mind you're almost "there"… but in reality not really. That misconception is so far from the truth… you're not married. You're not husband and wife. You're not two who have become one before God.
The truth is…
living together before marriage
is like a flip off to God…
living together tells Him:
Your vows mean nothing.
Your word means nothing.
Your sanctity of marriage means nothing.
It bleeds of flesh and pride…
It says "I know better."
It says "I don't care."
It says "Oh, it will be fine"
It says "I'll do whatever I want."
The thing is… many couples today may erroneously believe they are moving in together out of convenience… namely financial convenience. We may think that living together means pooling our resources and saving for the wedding, for our first home, etc. But instead it actually puts the cart before the horse.
If the couple's intention is to "give things a try" like test driving a new car you're considering purchasing… this path will likely lead to a dead end… and unfortunately your relationship to crash and burn. The first months together in any newly wedded blissful state is typically the most passionate filled time period there is… this is the honeymoon period, after all. But when we dive right into the state of living together we've then taken away that precious time together to bond as husband and wife. As you get to know each other better both in the bedroom and out of it, the monotony of life will soon set in… and this could lead to complacency to set in.
There have been reports that couples who live together
before marriage tend to have higher divorce rates.
Living together before marriage doesn't line up with God's ultimate plan for marriage and in fact detracts from it. Living together puts "Me" and "Flesh" before God and His desires for us. Scripture tells us that we are not to look out for "self' but instead to live selflessly.
1 Corinthians 13
Both Christians and non-Christians have taken the big step of sharing space… sharing a bed and bathroom before the marital vows are exchanged. At often their own detriment it can also mean these couples unwittingly allow their partner to not commit… to instead put off the ultimate commitment of love.
I would advise men and women today that no matter how incredibly excited you are to begin that new chapter… to walk that new journey hand in hand… to just take a pause… slow down and realize… this time in your life is very special… what's the rush? To hurry such a sweet time as the precious months leading up to your "I do's" is not allowing yourselves to savor these wonderful moments.
You get one chance to do it right the first time…
In this modern world God's ways may seem outdated…
but they truly never are…
His word stands the test of time as you want your marriage to.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
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