Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Marriage And Security


names have been omitted in this post 


I sat on the small flowered love seat, my back against the many pillows, sunlight streaming through the dim room from the window on my left. Across from me was my therapist in an armchair. She sat in her long wool skirt, boots and gray sweater set sipping her cup of lemon tea. Carefully setting her tea aside on the glass coffee table between us she retrieved the small black notepad she had been jotting notes in during our session.

She flicked her brown hair back away from her face and I took note how similar in appearance she was to Dana Delaney. She cleared her throat and asked me to continue.

I spoke of how I was angry.

My husband had left me and my children to travel to China for work for a week during a move from our home to a new one. The new home wasn't ready to move in as it was under renovation. We were due to move out of our current home so the buyer could move in. Accent furniture and knick knacks still filled our current home. I had been beyond stressed trying to figure out how I was going to move the remaining items out, clean the house for the buyer and I had no where to live. Plus two small children to care for.

I felt let down. Disappointed. Frustrated. And that led to anger.

"I'm not sure I'm willing to put up with much more." I told her.

She sighed and spoke
 "Your husband makes a good living. Women want security. You just need to stay."

You just need to stay…  her words echoed like a bad dream 

I sat there not really sure I'd heard her correctly then after a few seconds passed I realized I had indeed. And my first internal thought was:

That's the stupidest f-ing thing I've ever heard.

Her words still echo in my head.

Despite the anger things got better for awhile....until the next ordeal. Then it exploded.

But her words that day continued to irk me.

Is it really security if as women we are willing to accept any behavior, any treatment toward us? Where is the line drawn? Are we to look the other way just so we have "security"?


Our worth is worth more than that. I don't believe we have to accept just anything thrown our way. We as women shouldn't have to accept neglect, abuse, control, affairs, etc just to have security. The cost is too high. Our value, peace of mind and health are worth more. We each have to choose our values, our convictions and then stand by them, not sway on them when life gets rough.

If our husband
 is putting the marriage first 
we won't feel
 as though we have paid an
 exorbitant amount for "security"

Security: We each have to decide whether the price is worth it.

Thank goodness when it comes to God…

He will always provide.

He won't ever leave you.

His love never fails.

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2012 

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