Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Husbands & Romance: What Wives Want

He noticed all of her… 

If you've read the novel The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller you may very well be familiar with that line. Reading the book for the first time this past week has brought much thought into the realm of romance. In the story Francesca Johnson mourns the fact that romance is nonexistent in her marriage to Richard… and when Robert Kincaid stops by one day asking for directions her entire world shifts. In no way do I condone Francesca's cheating but there is much in this story that needs to be scrutinized and reflected upon as the novel reflects the ill health of so many marriages today not just Francesca Johnson's fictional one.

Francesca Johnson laments what lacks in her marriage and what lacks becomes so much more glaringly obvious once Robert enters her life. But the lacking was always there just the same. It was always between her and her husband. It always separated them like smoke in a bar… each of them at distant ends one perhaps realizing there was an issue… the other oblivious to any. The lack in her marriage and her husband Richard's inability to realize it leads us to what do women want in their marriage and what would make it better if men were only willing to open their eyes and see it?

Reading The Bridges of Madison County gives us an inkling into what women truly want, how they want to live in their marital relationships and if men were willing to give the book a read they just might see the spark that may be missing with their own wife. But if not… here are some ideas… this post was inspired by my reading the book these past few days… and somewhere I believe there will be a wife or two (maybe more) nodding in utter agreement.


What does your wife want?

She wants you to make love to her on the kitchen floor as chili simmers in a pot on the stove on a Saturday night… as the rain patters on the roof she wants to gasp and moan; reaching for the edge of dark night sky in ecstatic symphony.

She wants you to take her hands and dance to a slow tune on the radio… listening to the crickets chirp, feeling the coolness of the patio under your bare feet, the scent of gardenias nearby; you pluck one for her hair and tell her how incredibly beautiful she is.

She wants you to run a hot bath for her complete with bubbles and when the foam is daring to overflow the tub call her that it's ready, hand her a cold beer and brush her hair while she tells you anything and everything she needs to get off her chest.

She wants you to take her hand; please never tire of taking her hand and holding it when going places, particularly crossing the street; she wants to know you still care, that she still matters and you wouldn't dream of leaving her behind.

She wants you to send her a text while you're at work that doesn't demand anything, doesn't ask anything of her… but to just simply say "I'm thinking of you."

She wants you to say her name with endearment, not irritation or impatience… that when she hears you speak her name… she knows that it means something… that it's special to you and not ordinary.

She wants you to walk or run the trails with her and explore; to never tire of exploring the world with her no matter how local or far away.

She wants more pictures not less.

She wants you to see her as an individual not just as "your wife" like some kind of appendage or property owned.

She wants you to support her dreams, to encourage her, to not let her take the easy way out.

She wants you both to be on an active anti-boredom mission… boredom kills a marriage so quickly, like weeds that infest a neighbors yard; soon it takes over and what life was there is wiped out.

She wants you to make sweet love to her as if time frames, clocks and deadlines don't exist… she wants you to give her the delicious attention she desires and not just go through the motions of mechanics.

She wants you to open doors, to help carry things, be chivalrous because she knows she can do it on her own but the gesture of your kindness matters to her.

She wants you to plan vacations away… she wants you to take her someplace with a pretty view… beautiful settings are like a salve for weary souls… and spending time together in them makes for even sweeter memories.

She wants you to put down the remote control on an occasional evening and ask her what she wants in life… in five years, in ten years, in twenty… she wants you to ask her something besides where is your neck tie and what's for supper.

She wants you to tell her that she's an amazing wife and mother… and that if you had it do all over again, yes, you would marry her.

She wants you to be willing to pursue every single avenue in making your marriage better before daring saying you're done.

She wants you to pray for her, for her safety, health and well-being… she wants you to know you talk to God about her and thank Him for her.

She wants you to lead her in love… not crassness, not ambivalence, not apathy or dispassion but interest and purpose.

It may seem like a tall order… it might seem like a lot of work… but honestly, it's the difference between a marriage with life in it and one of impending death… romance adds so much to our marital lives and when we put in the effort to implement even a few things it can add infinite richness and beauty.

© ~ 2015

Thank you for reading,
commenting and sharing! 

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