Saturday, February 14, 2015

Valentine's Day: Married Or Single ~You Are Loved

image by gps grace power strength 

This week I bought a handful of pale pink and fuchsia tulips for my kitchen (pictured above). I took my daughter along and we spent some time oohing and ahhing over all the pretty flowers to choose from. I wanted her to see that just because Mommy doesn't have a guy to buy her flowers the world doesn't stop spinning when were not coupled. It's so important for girls to see that their moms can create a world of beauty, can buy something sweet for themselves and enjoy said beauty and self-paid-for purchase. As we left the store and strode across the parking lot I told her "See? You don't need a man to buy you flowers for Valentine's. You can buy your own flowers." She smiled, skipping happily along and quipped back "Yep!"

Regardless of whether you are single or married, male or female, you deserve to have a beautiful place, lovely surroundings, to treating yourself with something sweet, to being loved, cherished and cared for. Just because you're single or in a marriage that lacks love, respect and care please know that you are worthy of love, of sweet tender care, of having the sweet scent of flowers on your bed stand, paper hearts adorning your pillow and chocolate kisses in your pocket.

We are blessed to be loved by a loving God, 
by our Savior who died on a cross for each of us. 

I have been enjoying Valentine's the past few years as single… my Valentine's have been better as single than ever married. I can buy myself some chocolates and flowers and guess what? I don't "owe" anyone sex either. Applause and high fives for me. That may sound bizarre but that was the kind of marriage I lived, where everything was a "deal" by him, where he on a few occasions would "jokingly" leave money by the bed… he was the only one laughing. Contempt breeds where love doesn't. Fast forward to now, I can happily purchase my own stuff, enjoy it, cause I paid for it with my own dinero thank you very much. Being such a sucker for Valentine's, the pink, red and white, I love this time of year that leads up to this day… the stores look so festive and girlie with all the displays graced in colors of love. Some may scream an agenda of commercialism, a scheme to get people to hand over hard earned dollars "just because " but I love it.

Not everyone loves Valentine's or loves being single though. Everyone is in a different place in their journey post-divorce…. even in the midst of divorce. There may be struggles in coming to grips with our singleness. There may be a sadness that we don't have someone. And that is okay… we each have to embrace where we are and find our way through. It's perfectly okay to say: "I'd really like to have someone"… just this past week on a particularly trying day I was really wanting a bear hug from a guy. Just. a. hug. That. is. all. Sometimes we have bad days (or really great days) and wish we had someone kind and loyal to share it with, to laugh about it with (including plenty of sarcasm) and that is totally ok… it's okay to want that… it's when we begin to perilously move toward the territory of "I NEED someone" and of a desperate mentality that life can begin going awry pretty quick. We can also remember that holding expectations of others may lead to great disappointment… when we take control and remind ourselves we are fully in control of ourselves and this day (not others behavior) we can take action to make the day wonderful and not rely on others. Reminding ourselves of the love Christ has for us, buying ourselves flowers, viewing a beautiful sunset, enjoying praise music and reaching out to others, baking something sweet… we all have the choice to make today beautiful.

I love Single Dad Laughing on Facebook… his concept is awesome, because it enables us to see the funny, the sweet, the hilarious and sarcastic quotes, pictures and such but still give support to others in the times he asks the question of "Tell me the 100% truth right now"… and soon to follow is the funny but also the heartfelt, the hard, the really difficult honest-to-goodness-truth that makes you just stop in your scrolling tracks and you literally want to reach through the computer screen and hug that person who is hurting horribly.

Valentine's Day is kinda like that… we each have the ability to reach out to others. Just because someone is married doesn't equate to them feeling loved. There are many unhappy, unloving Valentine's Day's behind closed doors in marriage. There is no lonely like being alone with someone where love is supposed to exist.  For singles to reach out to their married friends and tell them "Happy Valentine's Day"----> that may be the biggest bright spot to a married person's day… and vice versa for a single person to hear "Happy Valentine's" from a married friend… love matters to both and we can all reach out to others… we love because He first loved us.

© ~ 2014  

1 John 4:19New International Version (NIV)

19 We love because he first loved us.

Related Posts: 

Desperation: Drop It Like It's Hot

Divorced? For The Single Man Or Woman~ My Hope For You

Bridging The Gap: 30 Questions To Ask Someone 

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