Thursday, January 22, 2015

Is She A Sociopath? 20 Signs

“Young Man Holding Head In Hand” by stock images via

Is she a sociopath? Here is a list to help. If you're a woman in search of Is He A Sociopath? Click here

Is She A Sociopath? 20 Signs

1. She's superficially charming, attracts people like a magnet. In the beginning you're delightedly drawn to her as she makes you believe you have much more in common than what you truly do. In hindsight you realize she was mirroring what you liked and wanted in life.

2. She exhibits extremes in mood, one minute she's sweet as pie, the next she's coming unglued in anger or even rage. You're not certain what you're dealing with but you know it's not good.

3. She may have a history of alcohol or drug abuse but is now sober or clean…. supposedly.

4. She preys on your high empathy. She may threaten suicide or self harm causing you to feel great worry for her, drawing you back in, causing you to not break up with her out of concern for her safety.

5. She seems to have an especially high sex drive and never seems satisfied. Cheater, maybe numerous marriages. Originally you may have felt like her hero on a pedestal… now you feel rejected and never good enough.

6. She doesn't seem to have regrets or guilt over anything she's done in her past like most people do. If she speaks of past life experiences it's done purely to garner sympathy as a victim, not share her responsibility, insight, changed perspective and growth.

7. She's a pathological liar… she lies about anything and everything and it continues even after she's caught and called on it.

8. She doesn't appear nervous or react like most folks do when startled, she doesn't panic, worry, feel anxiety or true sorrow about life situations in which most people would; sickness, a car wreck, or a loss.

9. She's unreliable, you can't count on her, it's a pattern of broken promises, she leaves you up a creek more often than not, she "forgets" about you, dates, meetings, etc. She changes plans last minute on you when something comes along that serves her better socially.

10. She's disrespectful toward you and your relationship; flirts openly with other men despite your valid objection and voice of hurt feelings. She may refuse to discuss your very real concerns in general in the relationship, instead she may walk off, refuse to problem solve as a team and just disengage completely; stonewall.

11. She has zero remorse or guilt for the things she has done. If you confront her on her lies and cheating she somehow projects blame onto you. She has the ability to twist everything to be your fault taking zero responsibility.

12. She uses seduction as a tool to draw you in and manipulate you. You mistakenly believe the chemistry between you is real. You may realize in hindsight you rushed into marrying her or sleeping with her.

13. She is jealous of other women, she is highly competitive and doesn't like anyone who is prettier or more successful than her. She speaks ill of others and you're embarrassed by it.

14. She is not a nurturer as most men naturally expect women to be, but instead she is a predator and always wants to "win" at any cost. In a child custody case she uses her children as pawns against their father. She lacks sensitivity for others feelings and empathy.

15. She never seems to take responsibility for her behavior, for her acting out, for her outbursts, her rage etc. She doesn't appear to have a desire to get help, to improve and grow like most people do.

16. She is a user… she uses you for money, sex, meals, image, status, gifts, vacations, etc. You feel the imbalance of the relationship. Instead of a natural give and take between two people, it feels like you're the sole giver and she's the taker.

17. She seldom if ever shows appreciation for the nice things you do, appears to feel entitled. Self-centered, expects everything to go her way.

18. If you call her on her behavior she grandstands, plays the victim, the martyr, fakes tears to gain sympathy. Defensive.

19. She's deficient. Very limited to no depth. May come across to others as extroverted and friendly but what you come to see later as over the top shallow behavior toward others as if she's putting on a show.

20. In the beginning she seemed too good to be true and now you see two sides to her… the public face and the private face. The one you see behind closed doors is the real deal. Don't doubt yourself. It's time to move on to happier, healthier and free.

© ~ 2015 



a person with a personality disorder
manifesting itself in extreme
 antisocial attitudes and
behavior and a lack of conscience.

If you're in the beginning 
stages of a divorce
 from a sociopath,
 here are 5 tips to help…

1. You do not have the ability to change your spouse/ex, they have a personality disorder. 

2. Try not to beat yourself up for falling for the sociopath's lies, facade or mask. You are not "stupid", "dumb" etc. You, like many others fell for someone who is of a predatory nature. 

3. Joining a Divorce Care class at a local church helps in your healing process. Many people take the classes multiple times as they journey through the many phases of healing. Being with others in a group setting helps remind you you're truly not alone. 

4. Feeling angry is natural and expected. God doesn't expect us to not be angry. But how we express anger by our words or actions does matter. We can pause when needed and try to remember to respond, not react. 

5. Take the time you need to heal from your divorce. Jumping right into dating again ups the chances of repeating unhealthy patterns. Focusing on your children, work, hobbies, health and exercise is one way to keep busy while rebuilding your life. If finances permit an occasional vacation with friends and family and regular therapy with a psychologist who is familiar with personality disorders can help. 

There are a total of 10 personality disorders, you can read about them in more detail here