THE SOCIOPATH:
"I'm taking the kids for the next three weeks. You won't see your kids…
<insert evil laugh>…"
<insert evil laugh>…"
"I'm not going to pay you a dime in child support. You will end up on the street if I have anything to do with it."
"I'm going to quit my job so you'll have to pay me child support instead."
"I'll quit my job that pays six figures and go get a job as a garbage man."
"You won't get anything if you leave me. I'll see to that."
"Wow, you're going to have to go get a job and stop mooching off me… maybe you can get a night job."
"If it wasn't for me marrying you, you would have ended up in a string of bad relationships and probably stripping for a living."
"The kids don't want to have anything to do with you… wow, their own mother."
************************
If you've experienced any or all of these threats of abuse or even something similar you're likely dealing with a narcissistic sociopath. He makes threats and those threats are intended to instill fear in you, to bring you down and to make you crumble… to make you give in, to feel frozen, to admit defeat and slash your self esteem in the process.
BUT YOU CAN SAY
NO TO FEAR
NO TO FEAR
YOU CAN SAY
NO TO DEFEAT
NO TO DEFEAT
YOU CAN SAY NO
TO LOSING YOUR
SELF ESTEEM
TO LOSING YOUR
SELF ESTEEM
He/she may win for awhile… a narcissistic sociopath may win for a short time, but long term? No…. he won't. You have the ability to stop him/her in his/her tracks. You have the power to overcome, to conquer that crazy torpedo aimed at you. You have way more arsenal tucked away in your little pinky finger than he/she does in that brain of his/hers as he/she tries to hatch his/her next evil plot. You have the ability to overcome his/her game of evil.
The best advice I can give you regarding how to handle a narcissistic sociopath?
STOP FUELING THE FIRE.
INSTEAD, THROW WATER ON IT.
go no contact
go no contact
A narcissistic sociopath will attempt to do everything he possibly can to make your life a living hell. He/she is like a defiant child who tries to get a reaction out of you even if it's through negative action. He/she desires supply. He/she will use the Family Wizard that you are to communicate on as a platform for his/her threats, his/her manipulations, outrageous lies and childish games. Let him. Or he/she will alternatively refuse to use it and instead attempt to communicate via phone. Don't answer the phone; ignore! He/she may put messages on the Wizard of how he's/she's willing to discuss in person whatever the latest issue is… maybe your son's need for braces, etc. Yet he/she will push for it to be an in-person discussion of the matter versus his/her thoughts and concerns being documented on the Wizard. You can use this. You can point out to the court how he/she is not following what was ordered. You can point out how he/she continues to push for in-person discussions when it's not necessary. So in the interim ignore it. Let him/her continue to set himself up.
The biggest key in dealing with a narcissistic sociopath is to:
IGNORE HIM (or her)
Hard, I know… maybe even difficult or just plain impossible, you say. But… in order to "deal with him" it's imperative to learn some coping skills and one of those is to find an outlet for stress… whether it's exercise, meeting up with friends, journaling, etc… find something constructive that will allow you to release your pent up stress. This is ultimately about letting go and realizing reality… it's a process of change, of transformation… that begins with the sober realization that you cannot change him/her… this leads you to the distance needed from him/her… to where what he/she does doesn't get you worked up any longer (at least 90% of the time) and you can shrug and say "Oh, well. His/her crazy channel is on again". It's not possible to change him/her… because let's face it…. if you could, you'd still be married…. you would have waved your magic wand and he/she would have been transformed from a fruitcake to angel food (sorry, but I'm hungry) and you'd be singing "Happy" by Pharrell.
But put the brakes on that dream because that's exactly what it is… a dream.
Let's get back to reality shall we?
5 Tips In Dealing With A Narcissistic Sociopath:
Let's get back to reality shall we?
5 Tips In Dealing With A Narcissistic Sociopath:
1. He will never admit you're right. He believes in two things; power and more power. He sees you as weak and himself as all-powerful. Think about what you're doing that is giving him more power…. if you guessed your reactions to him… you'd be right. Goes back to ignore.
2. He believes himself to be an elitist. He has no use for people who he deems "lower" than him (which is pretty much everyone) and won't take any real advice from a therapist. He may tag along on appointments for the children (as the "caring" father; yes, it's a facade) and "listen" to their recommendations of how to parent better, he may smile, nod and say all the things the therapist wants to hear but as soon as he is home alone with the child he does exactly as he wishes… the opposite of what the therapist says. Don't call him on his behavior. Don't accuse. (however tempting) Ignore. Quietly document and continue to do so.
3. He is bored beyond belief. He will continue to try to engage with you in some manner… likely at an event like the children's soccer game, a birthday party, etc. Your job? To now be known as the most utterly boring person on the face of the earth when around him. {Don't answer his calls at all, screen emergencies by voicemail} The next time he's attempting to engage with you; Be boring. Be vanilla. Talk about the weather in such intricate detail he slips into a bored comatose oblivion onto the floor. Do not smile. Do not make facial expressions. Do not allow emotion to play across your face. Remember that college professor with the monotone voice that put you to sleep? Channel that. Be so non-reactive to him that he will no longer gain supply from you. Or read up on Gray Rock Method
4. He will twist the truth and outright lie. When he accuses you ALWAYS verify if it's truth or a lie. ALWAYS go the extra mile and effort. It will pay off. Example; You each talk to a new potential therapist for the children. Later he tries to say via the Wizard that she didn't want to see the children due to talking to you. Knowing he would never believe you'd follow through and have the guts to call up the therapist and inquire about his accusation and it's accuracy you do just that. Low and behold... what do you know... she confirms he lied to you. Imagine that. <insert shocked face> Big points for you. Save that baby for court.
5. He does the opposite of what you tell him to. This is where things get interesting… and predictable if you've been dealing with a narcissistic sociopath for awhile. It's important you learn how to play his game… because to him it's all a game. Let's say he doesn't ever listen to you (big shocker, I know) and takes the children on his week to see your dad. The dad you have distanced yourself from because guess what? He's a narcissist. You secretly don't want your ex taking the children to see your dad. You know he's not a good influence on them. You have two choices here: One, you could ignore your ex's repeated attempts when he takes the kids to see your dad, hoping he will eventually stop on his own. (Because you voicing opposition will surely only encourage him to do it anyway). Or, two… you could voice just enough opposition knowing he will then go right ahead and do exactly what he wishes… because by now you know his nature…. and then use that against him later in court. Let him stand there as the judge asks him point blank why he continues to overstep boundaries. Let him answer for his continual and complete blatant disregard for your boundaries and beliefs.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
To My Readers:
Thank you for reading,
commenting and sharing!
At 59 years of age I've recently discovered that I was raised by two raging Narcissists and that that means they never loved me. It's devastating to learn this so late in life and I grieve for my lost potential. And it caused me to wonder if my ex-husband was also a Narcissist and what affect this might have had on my adult children. My daughter was the golden child (and thankfully Narcissist free); my son (and myself) were the supply. My son is quite angry and hostile towards me even though I always tried to protect him. How can I get this information to him, or should I even try? Is it possible that he's become a Narcissist now that he's grown? And if that's a possibility does that mean I will have to cut all ties with a dearly loved son? I'm so angry at these monsters and the damage they've done to us. What can I do?
ReplyDeleteCindy, I'm sorry to hear you were raised by two narcissists. It's devastating to realize one or both parents didn't have your best interests at heart. My dad is a narcissist and I can affirm first hand how life changing it is. One first step might be to meet with a counselor/therapist (that is experienced with narcissists and has been in practice a long time) about what you've discovered and they would be able to give more specific guidance on how to approach your son. A second option might be to send your son an article about the signs of narcissism and ask if he sees any similarities to his dad, feeling him out. He could be hostile because he is dealing with anger due to his childhood and hasn't processed it well. Counseling could help. Or yes, he could be a narcissist. It may take getting a professional opinion and giving specifics about him to determine if that's the case. And coming to terms of whether to cut contact or at minimum keep at arms length. I'm relieved your daughter isn't showing signs of narcissism. This is a tough situation and anger, feeling cheated is expected no doubt. Taking time for yourself in finding healing in your past is worth every bit of time. Hugs, Jen
DeleteThanks for your response, Jen. Unfortunately I'm not in a position at the moment to afford counseling but I definitely plan to do it as soon as I can. This is life-shattering but at least I finally understand what's been going on all my life. Your article was a big help. Thanks again.
DeleteThis article has given me power and strength. I'm in my fifties and unable to work anymore due to a disability. My husband has called me a white trash loser...now he has added that I'm too old to work and deserve to be shot. He has ripped thru all of our savings, sold my car and my engagement diamond that I bought for myself after 17 years. I have been alienated from my family and surprise my mother is also a narcissist . Apparently that has set me up for a lifetime of this crap. I used to react to him now, as you said, I'm just frozen. Bye the way he wouldn't really shoot me...he was just shooting off his mouth for his friends,.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the courage and support to leave your husband, there are abuse hotlines and women's shelters that will help you. Verbal and emotional abuse is so much more insidious and difficult to fight. Please stay strong and know that you are a smart and beautiful human being who deserves to be happy every day. Life is too short to be miserable was my daily mantra. 15 years to figure out that I wasn't the crazy one. 6 years to work up the courage and resources to leave - went back to school, part-time job to full-time job. And then 2 years of hell and my once high career Ex suddenly couldn't find any work. It cost me so much money to divorce him, but I wouldn't change a single thing. You can't buy happiness and there is so much happiness once you have no more ties or contact with an abuser. Praying for you and wishing you all the strength you need to survive this and move on to much better things! You can do it!
DeleteI am 34 with 3 children aged 4/6/8. This is definately my ex. I have been ignoring him for a year now, hoing through the court process with absolutely no contact otherwise. Currently he is still intimidating me, writing lies about me on social media. Local people cross over the road! Its that bad as he has tried to hard to paint a picture of him as the amazing dad and i am the terrible mother limiting access with the children. He also has a drink problem. Will g
ReplyDeleteHe ever let go? Hd is still obsessed with ruining my life. Shocking to me as i still dont get how anyone be so heartless as i look after his children 95% of the time. Why would he want me to become ill?
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this, it's such an emotionally challenging process not just for our children and seeing it's affects on them but enduring it ourselves as well. Good for you going no contact... That truly makes a difference. It's mind boggling that someone would purposefully want to and does create so much pain and havoc... just coming to terms with that is hard enough. It's a punishing nature they have.Ive found that their behavior continues at least until they find someone new (a distraction for them) and even then may continue just not be as frequent in creating problems. Keep following your new path and documenting for court, caring for your children and yourself. Keep your chin up and remember that he may be spreading lies but at the end of the day you know the truth! You deserve peace and happiness and thriving in your new life. Hugs.
DeleteI too, have three children, 3/5/10. My ex is the same way. He's now trying to intimidate and put guilt on my oldest. It's so heartbreaking. I can definitely relate to what you are going through. There are many times I just break down and cry because no matter how hard we try to move on, somehow, they continue to hurt us. My ex even has his parents believing that everything wrong in our relationship was me! Sending prayers to you and your children in hopes that you can move on and be happy. God bless.
Deletefrom what i have researched since the realization that my ex is a narcissistic sociopath, there is no "cure" since they are incapable of admitting ny of their iniquities (my ex could not even pronounce the word let alone define it, another issue when dealing with him since he thinks he knows everything and my vocabulary is apparently insulting). it was the hardest thing to accept, letting go of hope that he would "come around", engage in empathy, start acting like a human being. walking away from someone i once loved and believed loved me, is like walking away from a funeral except he continues to haunt me, plot against me, look for ways to control me. we have a son together and these realizations did not come to full light until i was in the hospital calling him to let him know i had the baby (his abandonment mid-pregnancy and taking my car saying he would "fix it" only to find mentioned in the summons he served me immediately after baby's arrival which claimed i was unfit, unemployed (aka to the rest of us as maternity leave), had no car (because he had taken it), and crazy.) i kept questioning myself, am i wrong for feeling betrayed, abandoned, used? he still claims i "am no better than him", refuses to pay child support, tried to get full custody in a NC court which actually believed all of his lies and granted him half custody regardless of his ZERO psrenting skills, refusal to take classes, and testifying that he planned to use "trial and error" to raise the baby and that he was still better than me, a mother of two other children on the school honor roll. the court believed all of his bs. everyone does. i feel like there is no justice in this county, and that no one cares what the truth is. i am constantly on the defense looking out for his next attack. i have committed to "no contact" except where dealing with the baby is concerned, though nothing i say matters and like you said "he does whatever he wants". i am still "the crazy one". he threatens to call the police to enforce the bs custody arrangement whenever ibtry to assert something in the baby's best interest, like the fact that he is still breastfeeding. everyone, courts, child services, other lawyers all say i just have to give in, get a breast pump, though it is the act of nursing that the baby needs. i worry that his needs are not being met when he is with his dad, who seems so focused on getting the naby to worship him that he has no clue what developmental benchmarks the baby is striving to acheive and though i have told him in brief direct statements the things the baby is working on, he accuses me of not telling him anything, insisting that i hive him a fully detailed account of the baby's dsily activities and include him in every doctor checkup. i just don't have time to generate such a report, and he tells me nothing about what he does with him. i know that he has acute anxiety in public places, could not even join us for the baby's first trick or treat, cannot wait in the magistrates office where i unsist we exchange the baby, and resents me for making such a request. i cannot allow him around me or my children, into my home where he has pushed his way in before and even abused my daughter's trust, groping her breasts when she has asked him for a back rub. his lawyer got him off the hook, she is friends with the judge, and even accused my daughter of saying that once told him she loved him. as if that made it ok to touch her breasts and choose to massage them instead of her back. so literally this guy gets,away with EVERYTHING! i have child support court tomorrow amd i sense further corruptiin will ensue as my caseworker insists that arrearages for the past year can only be based on what receipts i have managed to preserve and future support will be minimal because he has his own business..
ReplyDelete(continued)... with three employees, a huge house, constant full time work and somehow claims he barely makes more than minimum wage. i have sought counselling, and even asked if he would join me. he said there was no point in therapy, that i only wanted him to go so he would have to give me answers to questions he continuously dodges or throws back at me. like why did he lie to the judge, how can he do these horrible things to the mother of his only child, and what did i ever do to him? his whole family is on his side and attends every single court hearing. i expect them to be there wirh him tomorrow while all of my family is out of state or dead. what can i do to detatch from someone who has so much control over the whole town? i am not even allowed to leave or i will be held in contempt. thanks for reading this. your article really helped to strengthen my resolve, i just dont see anything getting better and only want the baby to grow up healthy happy mentally and physically. thanks again, Joy
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry he is causing so much chaos... Im especially concerned about the immediate situation at hand; the court date tomorrow. If you have evidence of his lifestyle that would help; concrete evidence and facts hold more weight in court than anything obviously. If you could produce photos of his home, etc that might help. Show any documentation you have. Joining our family wizard or talking parents would be wise so you have a documented place to communicate with him regarding parenting if needed. He should never be around your daughter or in your home. If exchanges are done a neutral place is best because then he's not on your turf... power/control is so important to them as you know... they think they know everything. My ex sounds like yours; can barely form a complete sentence that makes sense. And they love talking in circles. At this point I wouldn't waste any time or money on therapy with him; you're right, he can't be rehabilitated... unfortunately... and most survivors find therapy helpful on their own to assist with going no contact and getting feedback on how to best help their children cope with a narcissistic parent... if the finances allow its worth it. It's horrible how he's treated you... the abandonment during your pregnancy and his complete disdain and twisting of the truth... you can do it...hang in there, it's hard but it does get better... it does, it just takes time. I hope for improvements each day Joy.
DeleteJoy, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to live in such destructive chaos. Your ex sounds so much like mine. I love documentaries about animals, ancient civilizations, etc., because I love to learn. My ex said I was just trying to prove how much smarter I was than he was. So nuts! Regarding your court issues, does NC require that a Separate lawyer represent your child's best interests? I live in Texas and that's a requirement here, and it works really well when you've got a crazy ex. These attorneys are really good at sniffing out the nut cases because they care about your child. I hope your state has this requirement. Regarding the narcissism, I was brought up by two narcissists and they caused immense damage to me. Then of course I married someone with NPD. You go to what you know, I guess. Now my children are both in their mid-thirties. Fortunately my daughter does not have NPD, but my son definitely does. There are times he terrifies me, and he truly seems to hate me. I have to avoid him at all costs, even though I love him very nuch. If you have any evidence of his NPD, or if your lawyer can request that the judge require your ex meet with a psychologist for evaluation, that would be enormously helpful in your situation. This man is capable of causing tremendous damage to your son due to this disorder; narcissists are incapable of love so one has to wonder how he's treating your child when he has him. I wish you the best and I'm so sorry for your situation. Do what you can to prove his NPD. I don't know how the court could ignore that. Best of luck, Cindy Dolen
DeleteI'm pretty sure my husband is NPD, and I'm so traumatized by his behavior even a year later. The problem is some of the behaviors you describe I find myself doing. He's actually the one who's gone no contact (probably because I sent him NPD stuff), and also because I refused to keep doing things for him (read refused to keep being used by him). I see him living his happy little life with the whore he replaced me with and it makes me so angry I send really hateful emails and text messages. My therapist says it's because I'm co-dependent...I get that, but I was also totally blindsided by his behavior of discarding me and then finding out that he had discredited me to everyone...it has made me so angry! I did everything for him, took care of him and I feel like the last decade was a lie and never existed..counseling is helping a little but he's left me financially destitute and with Multiple Sclerosis to deal with by myself. Why does he make me feel so crazy? I actually go into anxiety filled panic some days...and I feel quite suicidal because of all this. I'm beside myself and we're still not even divorced.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having to go through this... and I think one reason it's so hard especially in the first year or so is because despite their atrocious behavior, disentangling ourselves from them is like being weaned off a drug addiction; I've read that when the NPD is putting us on a pedestal in the beginning and showering us with attention, affection and adoration its hard to later cut them cold turkey... (even when things were deteriorating they were likely still reeling us back in here and there and being co-dependent we wanted the relationship to work despite the poor behaviors) going no contact is extremely hard. So then as you described we begin looking unstable because our actions become some no contact, some angry emails, phone calls, checking his or her fb, etc. It begins to make us look off balance ... and yes we even feel it ourselves... possibly sinking into further depression. (Many folks who have dealt with NPD's have had depression and contemplated suicide).I can tell you despite this upheaval of emotions feeling not normal... it's a normal reaction to what you've been through. He stopped communication because yes, you sent the NPD info to him; he's been found out and he's gone into hiding from you. And he's realized you're not catering to him, putting up with his behavior etc. This is all very similar to my aftermath and many others. He's moved on with someone new while you're standing there still trying to process what the heck just happened. It's completely normal, what you're feeling; the up and down emotions. I had similar panicked feelings myself and so do others; your world has been turned upside down and right now it's a ***transition period*** of finding your footing again. He's moved on like nothing's happened because NPD's don't feel empathy for anyone or real love... the love they demonstrate is just that; a demonstration/an act, etc. It's difficult to process that someone's care for us was fake but one thing to remember is that YOU were genuine, you truly cared and regardless of being co-dependent that's something to acknowledge and realize that's why he chose you. He will never have that gift; of real love; He isn't capable. The process of recovery varies for everyone... the first year is hard no doubt.. the second year can be hard and challenging as well. Personally year 3 has been much better although mine still rears his head through co-parenting issues. I totally understand your fury about being discredited by him; there will be those who believe it; he's that persuasive... which can be mind boggling... I was furious at first too but later realized I had been duped myself... I gave it time and believe it or not a few saw the light after a couple years and disentangled themselves from him and we were able to pick up our relationship. Some will be spies for him no doubt. I would continue seeing a counselor if possible and if you don't believe you're making enough progress with he/she I might find a new one. I'd continue to read up on NPD and learn everything you can. Most importantly self care... It really can't be stressed enough how important it is. Exercise, journaling if that helps, yoga, plenty of sleep, etc... a social outlet will help you get through this... it's a process. Going no contact with him will help.. deleting his contact info might be best; it helped me later on because I was sending angry texts the first year or so and then he used those in court against me. You are strong even if you don't feel like it right now... even if it looks bleak... you have let him know you aren't going to accept his poor behavior anymore. You deserve so much better!! At the end of the day he didn't deserve you and now each day you can rebuild a new life you love.
DeleteThank you for this empathetic and heartfelt blog. I just came across it looking for answers on how to help my (just turned) 18 year old daughter deal with the painful realization that her dad is NPD. She has been intimidated by him for years and just after her 18th birthday (2/14) and major disappointment with that,(he did nothing for it, after asking her what she would like).. she for the first time, went "off" on him and spilled out all the disappointment, hurt and pain he's inflicted on her. He hung up on her. It's almost 3 months later and he hasn't spoken a word or text to her. In that time span, she has spent days crying, angry, and now almost despondent. She's gone from a 95 GPA at the college (she is a Senior but does early college), to dropping out of her classes (unbeknown to me)and flunking out. She has found "friends" that I know are involved in drugs, and she has no motivation for anything positive in her life. She has "run away" 2 times in the past month because she's "angry that I even married such a pathetic person and bad father". This joyful, outgoing, smart, beautiful young lady is just disappearing in front of me and I feel helpless. I've searched for places for her to go for healing, counseling, coping skills, to no avail...unless I can pay 30K. And she IS willing to go somewhere and wants to find peace. I've taken her to 3 counselors and no one can connect with her. She says she feels "lost". The so-called "dad" doesn't even care. I emailed him with the subject: emergency-Jesalyn and no response for 3 weeks. I re sent it and asked him to call me. When I told him how she's feeling, the damaging behavior, etc.. and asked him to please call and mend this, his response was "well she hurt my feelings and she said mean things to me and I'm not talking to her unless she apologizes to me"...(ARE YOU KIDDING ME?) so I say: "So she's in distress and going downhill fast, and you don't care about that? His response: "I don't care about her drama".
ReplyDeleteHow can I help my daughter? Does anyone know of a place she could go for a few weeks and heal? Should I disconnect from the ex completely? I'm lost too.
You are so welcome, Jo. I'm sorry to hear about all of this.. finding out dad is NPD would most definitely send anyone into a spin emotionally. I'm sorry she's suffering like this… it's a rough time right now and the consequences are awful but this doesn't have to cast a shadow onto her longterm; affect an otherwise very bright future. Anyone would need to mourn what has happened and who she thought her dad was. The good news is she's 18 and doesn't have to live under his thumb. She's a grown adult. She can choose what relationship if any she wants with her father. That being said you are now done with co-parenting with him; she's 18. I would go no contact and not reach out again. You've done what was best; the initial reaching out to him in concern for her. But he's rebuffed. Its in his court now; his move. If he wants to reach out to her he will. Or she will initiate and extend an olive branch to him; but knowing what she knows now what can she possibly gain except more pain and heartache. Its a good sign she wants to get some help in dealing with all this… I would recommend she read online any and all information she can on NPD fathers… there are blogs like this one and others that detail life with and realizing your father is NPD. Therapy is always good if she could find one that's very experienced and specifically in personality disorders. There is a book titled Toxic Parents by Susan Forward that may help as well. I wish her all the best… it's truly saddening to realize that your father, the man who was supposed to care for you isn't willing/capable. Peace and comfort, healing to both of you.
DeleteI am a roommate with a sociopath. so hard. in a permante care situation
ReplyDeleteMegan. I'm sure that has to be hard! I hope some of what you read helps.. is going no contact likely not an option? Taking good care of yourself and reading up on personality disorders will hopefully make it manageable.
DeleteI LOVE THIS BLOG! I stumbled on it while doing research for my own on a Narcassist I've been in a dark place for so long for other reasons the worse being a former Manager who bullied me to the breaking point of my 6 years as an aircraft mechanic and only female in team of 30 plus when I first learned what a Narcassist was. I was so angry and disappointed that not only was my new and poor excuse for a manager a racist woman hater my new teammates were nothing but cowards. I stood up to him while he sabatoged my career and not one damn person stood up for me and every single one of them knew. He's been doing it for 22years because he prides himself on being known as a Bulldog. On top of issues at home and having to file for Bankrupcy after getting laid off I isolated myself for almost a year till my 401 ran out and Workforce screwed me out of my benefits because I was too depressed to put up a fight while freeloaders shacked up in my house that I remodeled from the ground up with my own two hands back when I was full of life and thriving energy until I took some time off and before I had a chance to finish my 2year project I took in 4 adults and 6 small children who needed a place to live. MY son his his wife her 4 kids my two grandbabies and her two cousins until I couldn't even bare the sight of my once sanctuary and home and no one cared. I went from a gladiator chick to an unwanted baglady in my own home and watch for 6months as my pride and joy of a little man stripped me of my title and passed it down to someone who doesn't even come close to half the woman I used to be because I held in all my pain for so long because I knew if I didn't I would never be the same if my son ever raised a hand to me it would be the last thing he ever does because I'd take em all down in one shot with all that's been built up. And low and behold who comes to my rescue just as I rise from my grave and ran everyone out and pulled myself up by a thread 2 days before my house was going up for auction with every last penny I had. MY NIGHTMARE in shinny ex- cowboy and only love who I've never gotten over. Just barely enough to find the urge to challenge when he turns out to be e worse mistake of them all and shocked the he'll out of me how I never saw how truly disturbed he is till now and I wanted to take out all my years of pain and frustration on him so bad I could taste it and RUIN the company
ReplyDeleteI helped him build up 10 years ago when he left me for a street walker 3 years later. He's been around once or twice every other year and this time I made the mistake of taking him back and I wasn't going to let him get the best of me this time after I found out he's seeing 3 other woman and worse now he talks and treats me like a prostitute from the bottom of the barrel and that is absolutely unacceptable because I'm better than a man like him deserves, I made it on my own all the years when he left me with nothing not even a job or next month's rent I bought my house a year to that date he said he was getting married to an immigrant who needed papers 2 months after he left the prostit learned how to read men like a book thanls to him i havent dated in years but I never knew what a Narcassist was and had no idea what I was up against till now and it's debating because I was so ready to win one for the team this time around and now I feel like a bag lady all over again and I'm not ready to go back to that dark place it took me so long to CRAWL my way back out of.. There has to be a way to show him what it feels like when someone robs you of your pride and strips you of your dignity cuz dissorder or not its just not damn right for them to expect us to live with their abuse just because they feel like it.. We have a right to kick them right back while they're still standing. Because we're not l8ke those cowards who kicked us repeadately while we were down.. I'm ready for round 3... no matter who wins I just one very good shot put his ads in a coma I was looking for that fuel when I found ya and it calmed me down. I just don't know for how long hee hee but I wanted to THANK you so much it warms my heart to finally see compassion in people again so not all hope is lost.. you never know how strong you are till being strong is the only choice u have..
ReplyDelete