Thursday, December 5, 2013

Women: Proverbs 31 Or Sexy Hot?

Meet the two most overused words in society: 

1. Sexy

2. Hot 

It seems everytime I'm standing at the checkout to buy groceries and scanning the display of slick magazines graced by supermodels and celebrities in their low cut blouses, fire engine red lipstick and come hither bedroom stares it's the headlines that are actually what give me reason to cringe. Headlines that scream out with promises to help women in bed in the form of "10 Sexy Moves To Try On Him Tonight" or "This Season's Sexiest Wardrobe Must Haves"... and "Are You Hot? Take The Quiz!" 


Gag me. 

It seems like in our society (at least in America anyway) we have in general all turned into a bunch of un-creative bumblers if you will when it comes to using words to describe women or anything closely related to them.

Can we not do better than "Hot?

There is a whole list of words out there in the English language that can be used to describe women in a positive manner, in a way that lends an appreciation for their beauty aside from the usual: "She's sexy!" or the go to: "Dude, she's so hot!" 

<eye roll> 


Let's be introduced to.... elegant, pretty, lovely, beautiful, precious, gorgeous, graceful, glorious, luminous, sparkly, remarkable, splendid, enchanting, vibrant, lively, glowing, radiant... 


Despite loving their hot pink infused stores and pretty undergarments I always find it amusing when Victoria Secret airs their models on television (which most of the time look underage but that's another blog, another time) wearing angel wings and barely there sexy panties and bras. I wonder if God rolls his eyes at that one. I wonder if He thinks to himself... "People!.... they can even slap 'sexy' on an angel for crying out loud! And 'hot' doesn't correlate to Heaven but actually hell, folks."Being sexy may get us access in a club, in certain social circles or a date but sexy won't save our butt. Sexy is not a must have... and neither is sexy required to live a life of good.... a life of value.... a life loving God and others, even a life of beauty. 


The word sexy can undeniably be somewhat harmful to women. Because it insidiously sets this unspoken certain physical standard that women need to meet or else their value plummets to the ground. The idea of sexy... that expectation for a woman to be sexy despite childbirth, maybe an illness, a few post baby pounds, or even (gasp) aging, etc... it sets the bar high for women and in that a deep down undeniable fear that maybe we aren't meeting the sexy-meter. And then that worry alone can send us as women head first into a whirlwind mental tunnel of fear. What if my husband no longer finds me sexy? What if he finds someone else whom he deems sexier? Will he leave me? Women may think... I have this beautifully sweet baby I gave birth to and if I don't get this body of seemingly mass destruction by my admittedly own skewed view back in tip top shape pronto he may move on in the form of a roving eye, an affair, a sex addiction, etc. It's an unspoken unrealistic expectation by society to look like a super toned (sexy hot!) waif right after giving birth and if you must make yourself sick to do it so be it. 

This is all wrong, wrong wrong. 

It places the wife in the position of putting more value in staying slim, more value on her abs and waistline than the striving towards Proverbs 31 character. It places more value on a wife being sexy than spiritually mature. It places more value on a wife being "oh so hot" versus cool, calm, patient and loving. 


Marriage is to be a covenant but when the expectation of wives needing to be sexy or hot arises, it instead brings conditions…  and we know with conditions comes any multitude of backward reasons for that union to be broken in the eyes of man. We all, men and women alike need to care for our bodies, no doubt, for our health and take pride in the blessings God has given us.... and yet physical beauty is not the be all end all. As women we truly want to be valued in the other areas in life we share beauty like our spirited personalities, our kind words of encouragement, our selfless giving, our helping hands, our ability to turn something simple like flour, eggs and butter into a wonderfully thoughtful gift in the form of cake for our neighbor, our deft ability to multi-task with a baby on our hip and serve our family. It's these things we as women do that may not always be seen as contributing beauty to the world, to our husband's and to our home yet that indeed are.

Unconditional Love… 

And what a beautiful message for a wife when a husband proclaims how beautiful she is in all ways to him….  lovely like a rose of Sharon on his arm beside him in all seasons of life, lively like a whisper wind in his ear as she speaks words of life and appreciation for him… luminous like a drop of glistening dew in the marital bed of selfless love towards him... what a song of beauty it is to her ears, to her heart, that she... of all women out there in the universe is loved unconditionally by him and desired solely by him not based on her sexiness per se but out of love for her and her radiantly glowing spirit.

I can't think of anything sexier than that. 

© ~ 2013 

Proverbs 31:10 

An excellent wife who can find? 

She is far more precious than jewels. 

Proverbs 31:20-21 

She opens her hand to the poor 

and reaches out her hands to the needy. 

She is not afraid of snow for her household, 

for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

1 Timothy 3:11

 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers,
 sober, faithful in all things.

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

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