We all do it don't we?
We look back and see things in life we coulda shoulda done differently.
And some might say that's a waste of time. And in length, yes, yes it is.
Lingering too long on the possible regrets of the past is not productive and a fruitless endeavor as it keeps us stagnant and our feet immobile. But clear snap shots of clarity, of those moments where you have the lightbulb moment and take mental notes to purposely do differently from here out without the invisible bat in hand beating yourself up but instead giving yourself grace to move on with compassion and PURPOSEful action....
Men today may wonder what they can do to be the best possible husband and yet misguidedly believe that their earning power is the be all end all of being a good husband. Yet.... that's such a misconception today.
Men certainly don't want to get married and then years down the road find themselves in a quagmire of regret... realizing that their marriage is suffering and yet wondering what exactly brought it to this disappointing place in time. But what really leads a marriage to a place of despair or darkness is priorities being placed in the wrong order. Perhaps if things aren't going as well as one had dreamed it might be a good time to evaluate and see what is being placed first and foremost as most important. In so many marriages today men are understandably incredibly stressed out trying to provide, working long hours and not really enjoying free time with their wives and their families. One question we can ask ourselves is:
Are we living beyond our means?
If a household is doing just that then the husband is working far more than he should just to still be behind. Evaluating our lifestyles and what we are placing in the important column is crucial to making changes.
Priority # 1:
When a husband places God and
family first everything else falls into place.
Dear Men Of The World,
As women we don't care if your paycheck is six figures, we don't care if your car is the newest model and fully loaded. We don't care if your truck or home is equipped with the latest sound system. We don't care how thick your wallet is. We don't care how great you are at mastering the grill and how much you paid for those steaks you picked up at the market. We don't care if you burnt the dinner you were trying to prepare for us and grabbed take out instead from a steakhouse. We don't care if you've had your picture taken with celebrities or won the lotto. We don't care that you drive a BMW or belong to the Admirals Club. We don't care if you make every green light down the thoroughfare because of your speedster. We don't care if you win all the pool games, dunk every basketball and never lose a game of Dice Buddies. We don't care if you have rubbed shoulders with higher ups, with royalty or movie stars. We don't care you that you're an entrepreneur and invented some gizmo or gadget. We don't care what your degree is in and where you went to college. We don't care about your "most awesome trip ever" 4-wheeling or your stunts during an all guys ski trip. We don't care that your testosterone outshined some other guys on the freeway, on the soccer field or in a bar.
We don't care.
What DO we care about?
Honesty... one lie will make us question everything you say from that point on.
Character... treating others how you would want to be treated including us.
Compassion... showing you care we had a bad day, had a flat tire, got a horrendous haircut.
Listening without fixing... sometimes we may need a solution but most of the time (90%) we are venting. Hang tight, listen, nod, hug us and hold us.
Purposeful Loving Action(s)... your words may be as beautiful as a sonnet but if they don't carry any weight with action to back them up they are as cheap as a Louis Vuitton knock-off.
Hugs... they show affection and comfort.
Cuddling... pretty self explanatory.
An "I get it." .... this means you hear us, you are listening.
Occasionally an "You make me smile." ... that it's not always about what were wearing, how we look, etc. But that you also appreciate our inner beauty.
Doing without keeping score... the one who keeps score always loses in the long run. Guaranteed.
Eye contact... Shows you are in the "here and now."
Quality time spent together... doesn't have to be pricey just thoughtful.
Romance... bits here and there in the daily hustle & bustle of life are lovely.
Leadership without control... leading in love not dictatorship.
Asking our opinion.... we love it when you ask us "What do you think?" It's a turn on and makes us feel acknowledged.
Equality... woman came from the man's rib, not his feet.
God.... placing Him first and reading the bible together, praying together, attending church etc., sets a stable foundation for your marriage.
No one wants to live in regret and wonder what they coulda shoulda done differently. There is not a perfect marriage but when we set our priorities straight in life we will undoubtedly live our life as a beautiful example to others with the one we chose to love each and every day.
And that's certainly something God cares about.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013
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