Saturday, June 29, 2013

Doing The Right Thing: To Confront Or Not?

Are we doing the right thing in life? 

Even more, are we doing the right thing when other's aren't? 

God expects us to do good, seek justice and lead a life of good moral character. We can choose each day to be an example of good, not corruption and evil. If we choose to engage in sin we can guarantee we will reap what we sow. 

Have you ever observed someone doing something illegal or unethical, maybe just hurtful and you cringed in response yet you didn't know what to do? You believed you should have done something but you also may have been fearful. Perhaps you chose to do nothing. You may have feared retaliation in return for speaking up for what is good. 

God does not want us to fear. 

God repeatedly tells us in the bible not to be afraid, to not fear and that no matter what we will make it through the trials and tribulations throughout our life... we just have to hold tightly to Him when we begin to waver. 

We can speak out in gentleness and humility and confront without causing a scene. We can confront in private. We can confront without cursing. We can confront by stating the facts and thereby leading a good example to others. We can confront quietly not in brashness shaming our fellow man. We can confront without getting a jab in or lowering ourselves to someone else's level of behavior. Granted, it's hard in the heat of the moment, when we are angry, upset, flustered etc... but we can try our best and ask God for help. If we fail we can turn to our fellow man in apology and forgiveness... then to God in prayer asking for forgiveness and redirection. 

We may waffle and not want to, but at times we must confront. Because sometimes if we don't, we risk not only the individuals sin continuing to affect us negatively but others also.... possibly leading to harmful consequences to innocent people who would have greatly appreciated our initial intervention. 


Last week I was sitting in my son's psychiatrist's colorful waiting room patiently waiting our name to be called. The office was busy... mothers and fathers alike waited their turn while their children played. It was a routine appointment we had regarding a refill for my son's non-stimulant ADHD medication but unbeknownst to me the wait would be anything but routine. Nearby my son and daughter worked on a puzzle they were quietly piecing together. Beside me to my left on the floor were three boys playing legos and building their individual towers without any incident. I rose to select a couple magazines to casually flip through. Upon reaching my chair I took my seat and opened one... only to have the moment interrupted by a sudden banging noise. A little boy with a cherub face that now looked incredibly angry with a shock of blonde hair was smashing his truck into two other boys lego creations. The other two smaller boys backed away ever so slightly from him but said nothing. I glanced up at their mother's who had distressed looks on their faces. The blonde haired boy yet again smashed his truck into the smaller boys lego buildings causing them to look at him with a mixture of two deer caught in headlights and increasing anger. 

I quickly turned to the woman sitting near me and asked "Excuse me, do you know where this boy's mother is?" 

She jerked her head in the direction of the door by the front desk. "She's in the back with the doctor." 

I stood up and strode over to the blonde haired boy and knelt down beside him on the soft gray carpet. 

"Hey..." I said and gently took his arm. He stopped the truck in it's tracks. 

"Listen... " I spoke softly to him "It's not nice to bully other's. It would be best if you help these boys rebuild their towers." 

He looked at me and then nodded admittedly "Okay, you are right." Pushing the truck away, he told the boys he was sorry and began helping them rebuild their lego creations. I patted him reassuringly on the back and thanked him.


We don't have to cave to fear and choose not to confront others when they have wronged us or we have witnessed them wronging others. It takes courage to stand up for the right thing and we may struggle but we can lean on God for strength and guidance. If we choose to confront others in a Godly manner we can stand in sweet strong loving victory not as a disgruntled victim of self pity or as a silent partner to enabling the sins of others. 

“If your brother sins against you,
 go and tell him his fault, 
between you and him alone.
 If he listens to you,
 you have gained your brother."

 Matthew 18:15 ESV

© ~ 2013

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading,

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