Thursday, January 17, 2013

Relationships Do Not = "Let's Make A Deal"

Marriage Vows.

"I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Marriage vows are when we make a covenant before God. Each person vows to show their love for each other through purposeful acts of love. But sometimes marriage vows and the covenant they create are confused with contracts.

Contracts are about "Making A Deal." So what happens if marriage becomes comparable to making a deal? When does a seemingly innocent favor asked of "You scratch my back....I'll scratch yours" go into questionable territory?

If a wife feels the need to give sex just to get her husband motivated to accomplish something off his "honey do list" is the sex based on love or "lets make a deal?"

If a husband expects sex because he took his wife to a nice steakhouse for dinner is the dinner tainted?

What if a spouse is constantly keeping a mental note of whether their laundry is done, their favorite dinners are made and if they were thanked for every door they opened?

What happens when a spouse is checking the ledger in their marriage to ensure that all the items in each column are checked to their satisfaction?

Shouldn't the covenant of marriage and how we express our love toward our spouse be based on purposeful love that we want to do? And not based on the trading of "deals"? When love and business or "contract law" are allowed to become interwoven in marriage the ramifications can be damaging to a couples union...resentment can build on both sides.

Spouses may attempt to or make deals with us. The point of marriage may be lost. But God doesn't make deals with us. He doesn't make us feel as though we don't measure up, that if we don't do this or that his love will be taken away. We don't have to live in fear that this will happen. Because for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, he loves us even into death where he will hold us.

God loves us even when we disobey, when we fall short or feel as if we can't keep up. God isn't asking us to "make a deal" with him. You don't have to do anything to get his love....

You have it.

© ~ 2013 

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