Your Heart: Guard It, Yes, But Still Love

Decades ago we were told by the "experts" that eating eggs too often would leave us with possible health risks in the long run… resulting in high cholesterol for one which can potentially lead to an increased risk of heart attack or stroke. Now we are encouraged to eat eggs, as they've now been touted as healthy. Some would say perhaps we just need to look to moderation when it comes to any food… whether it's chocolate or salad were consuming. And yet on some level, you name it and we've been proved that what we once firmly believed about eggs has now been proven incorrect.


It's not any different than being single and childless and witnessing a screaming child in a store just a few feet away… and not understanding why on earth the parent can't seem to get the child under control and happy… "spanking or cookie, maybe?" Then a few years down the road once that same person becomes a parent themselves and are standing before their own screaming over-stimulated child in the midst of Target they cringe at the memory of that moment… "Oh, jeez…" they think to themselves... they bite their lip wishing they could disappear into the floor from embarrassment. They have now been shown that no matter how many goofy faces they make, pleading and prayers to above, bribes of lollipops or just plain old threats of "if you don't cut out that screaming right now, no PBS kids this afternoon!" they make… they realize they (just like that parent years ago they witnessed and yes, possibly judged) are not a "bad" parent… they are just human like everyone else… as their kid is too. They have been proved wrong.


It applies to meeting someone new as well… we may go through a mental summary of things we won't allow in our checklist… no one who has a motorcycle, maybe no one who likes to ski… perhaps no one who is younger or no one who is older. Then we meet said person… and before we know it… were undeniably smitten… and not only wondering if they are too but sitting there thinking to ourselves… well, jeez… I always said I wouldn't date someone with a motorcycle… or maybe it's not being willing to date someone who likes to eat sushi or even someone older, or even younger… and yet there you stand… you may feel blindsided by a mac truck driven by cupid and stunned… because you realize just like the eggs… just like the screaming child on aisle 5… and just like the guy you're undeniably attracted to… you've been proven wrong… (sigh) yet again…


Whether it's the newest fad diet that has proved to be a flash in the pan or you've realized that potentially dating someone who does not fit your typical criteria however well intentioned… it's irrelevant now due to the plain and simple fact you like them thus far… it's okay to be proven wrong… it's okay to say "Well, I sure wasn't right about this or that… go figure!" We don't have to slip into stubborn rigid ways… and cling to old ideals… instead we can admit to ourselves that our perspective has changed and maybe that's not such a bad thing. Life is about change… about embracing it… and maybe we've come to realize that in some ways we've been too rigid in what we want… or for some in what we think we want. If either of those are the case… it's okay to look ourselves in the mirror and admit we were hasty or even just plain wrong… at least in this case… we may realize life has a funny way of creeping up on us when we least expect it and giving us a surprise.


No one likes rejection, for sure… no one wants to feel as though they have been pushed aside or snubbed. After a relationship ending or a divorce we may naturally feel a little fragile… we may all have "handle with care" wrapped around our hearts… we may be a bit hesitant or unsure of our footing as we walk this new path… we may question if we will ever find a "safe spot" with another human being… but one lesson I have learned is… even if you are rejected, or feeling rejected, or not even sure… even if your advances, interest, your calls, your inflections, your glances, your texts, your whatever are not acknowledged or even sent packing… at least you will know you tried. After not speaking up in the past… my lesson has been learned… it's always better to live with "Okay, I tried" than "What if I had tried?" Because "Okay, I tried" means maybe disappointment and hurt from someone else. But "What if I had tried?" is you disappointed at yourself… loathing yourself, kicking yourself because dang it… you didn't speak up… and now you're left with regret, wondering… and that has the ability to eat you alive. We can deal with disappointment from someone else… even eventually move on… but disappointment at ourselves? That can become all consuming and detrimental to our very fiber.


So, yes… guard your heart… guard it in the attitudes you hold, guard against being so worried that love might backfire for you this time that you don't even try… that you don't even bother… guard against becoming jaded, guard against throwing your hands up and thinking to yourself "why even bother?" Guard against allowing your heart to harden from the past hurts where love was perhaps spoken of but not ever shown… guard against walking right into the evil one's path where you know you shouldn't be… where sociopaths, pigs, married men, married women and sexual predators prowl like hungry wolves for any supply they can get on the side because their marriages are falling into disrepair and they won't choose divorce or marriage but just themselves… guard against allowing yourself, your heart from becoming hooked to these dark types… guard yourself from knowingly entering anything you know to be wrong in the eyes of God.


Walk in light, walk in love… be open to that new season, that new chapter, to love, to new beginnings… be open in your words, your body language and your smile… do not fear… because you may get a little hurt, yes… you may take a chance on love, a risk, but at the end of the day… you aren't going home to no one… you aren't crying into your pillow solo… you aren't going to rest your head in sleepy slumber without hope and love still in your soul… because Jesus is there… you're already complete as His scarred hands brush your hair and wipe your tears… because you have Him.


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014

I hear the Lord saying, “Come into the abundance of My love. Do not believe the lies of the enemy, for they will steal from you the promises that I have made. Come fully into My love. Allow Me to lead you and guide you in this season. Allow Me to be one with you. Allow Me to show you that you can prosper and that you can live every day of your life in victory. Allow Me to bring you to that place of peace, in Me, and all things will then work together for your good. Live under the rule of My kingdom in absolute love, joy, peace and unity with Me.”

… excerpt from "Come Into The Abundance of My Love" @ godsgracefulness.com

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

Related Posts: 

Saying Goodbye To Your Ex And "Yes" To Love Again 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2014/09/saying-goodbye-to-your-ex-to-love-again.html

Loving Her As God Would Want Him To

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2014/09/loving-her-as-god-would-want-him-to.html

Divorced? For The Single Man Or Woman: My Hope For You 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2014/06/divorced-for-single-man-or-woman-my.html

"That Was Supposed To Be My Life" She Said

"And you let her go

And you let her go 

well you let her go… "

passenger 

lyrics ~  let her go

************************

I listened to the lyrics as they played in the background…  slowly making my way around the circular tables of designer shoes displayed… Nine West, Coach and Franco Sarto leather wedges and summer flats dazzled like prized trophies on pedestals. Finding myself at the corner clearance rack I began casually surveying the shoes lining the metal shelves… blue suede pumps, heels that were glittered and glossy lipstick red begged to be bought and worn out… worn to a party, a glittering event or maybe a dinner date and play afterward. As my brown-green flecked eyes fluttered over them my sight caught an older couple just a few feet away… visible to me through the staggered shelves of shoes. They appeared to be in their late sixties or early seventies. He was sitting in a club chair noticeably patiently waiting while she, his wife, tried on several pairs of shoes. There was a comfortableness between them. He nodded at what she was saying as she modeled them in front of a petite knee height mirror nearby. I watched as she took a seat beside him and he gestured to the pair she held in her hands and seemed to speak with his body language from afar that yes, indeed she had chosen the right pair for her… and that he too liked them as well. He spoke to her with undetectable words from my vantage point yet I saw that she smiled, chuckling appreciatively at what he said. I moved away from the clearance section and made my way to the nearby clothing department.

I began skimming through a rack of women's pants for work… and as I skimmed through the slacks in colors of gray, navy and khaki I heard a female voice nearby speak "That was supposed to be my life." she said. I turned to her, startled and met her lined gray eyes staring back at me. Her face looked pained and she affirmed to me what she was referring to… "That couple… being married for so long and obviously happy… that was supposed to be my life." she told me.

Divorce. 

Heartache. 

Pain. 

Loss. 

I meet people, randomly, not expected, in ways that connect us all in so many ways… past experiences that continue to show up in ways they can be used now in present time to help, to reach out, to do good, to affirm, to heal. With each person's pain comes the current place of who they are now… each and every life moment has led them to who they are today.

We are each a sum of all our experiences. 
We are each molded by the past into who we've become… 
formed by what we've been through, 
each person who has crossed our path in life has touched us in some way, shape or form.

For this woman she stood here today… before me with raw feelings and her words caught in my throat, hinged on my shoulders and pulled at my heartstrings. This woman was brave. Brave enough to say what any woman (or yes, even man) may not utter but feel deep inside… each person who has been through the hell of losing… something that was supposed to be for the long haul, the end of time, for eternity, "what coulda shoulda been" but yet they continue to push those feelings down deep each time they try to rise up again and like waves threaten to engulf them in a flood of tears.


She was brave to speak for us all.

"That was supposed to be my life" she'd said.

I looked her in the eyes and painfully but honestly replied "Me too."

That was supposed to be my life too… 

a marriage where no one took the other for granted

a life where we each encouraged one another to grow, to learn, to push and far exceed what perhaps we narrowly believed we could do

we were to be able to talk about anything and yet at the same time to be happy with discussing nothing

we were to be best friends; me climbing your back like a kid until I was no longer limber enough to do it and your back finally cried uncle

and yet we were supposed to be lovers and we'd tingle with excitement in complete simpatico like a complementing storm of thunder and lightening always on cue

we were supposed to be able to overlook the annoyances and when they'd threaten to divide, one of us would crack a joke to smooth the ripple out like a warm iron on a ruffled shirt

maybe one day there would come a time when we could no longer physically do the things we used to but there would always be hugs…  the long hug-you-and-squeeze-you-tight-at-the-end-of-a-long-day-type-hugs-where-no-one-wants-to-let-go… because those are the best

it was to be a life of sunny flowers in the kitchen, the scent of apple pie, a dog panting and wagging at our feet and kids running happily barefoot through the house

there would be extended family barbecues, cookouts, what have you and smiling sun-kissed faces ready for another photo, ice cream cup or dip in the pool 

years of family road trips filled with impromptu stops for sight seeing, a sno-cone and silly picture taking 

there would be arguments, no doubt… disagreements of this or that… but there would always be open communication… we would each be one another's "safe spot" to go to and respect would reign for one another… because the biblical golden rule would be the first rule applied… do unto others as you'd want them to do unto you

life might sometimes become monotonous but we'd know it was up to us to inject moments of whimsy and fun… and we'd take the time for adventures

we were to be best friends and be able to tell one another everything and not be judged… because being best friends means picking each other up, not pushing the other down

really it was supposed to be the best thing ever meeting you… it was to be a lifetime of inside jokes, a history of meaningful shared moments, of pet names, of "i love you's" that meant something… 

that was supposed to be me.

that was supposed to be her…

that was maybe supposed to be you.


Don't believe for a minute God doesn't see your disappointment.
He knows.
He sees the unspoken pain and hurt…
He is very much aware of it… and yet…
there's another chapter coming around the corner…


for me.

for her.

and yes, for you.


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

worrying will do nothing 

but keep you stagnant… 

don't let anything from the past 

overshadow your now

Like the rain… even pain is temporary… 

healing is for everyone, not just some people 

“The best way out is always through.”
―Robert Frost

Every single step forward you take is one more step of progress

To My Readers;

thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

click the link for grace power strength blogs pinned on Pinterest 

http://www.pinterest.com/jengumdropgirl/

Related Posts:

Shame

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/04/shame.html

Secure: Just Be. Just You.

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/02/secure-just-be-just-you.html

Saying Yes To God and No To Excuses

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/10/saying-yes-to-god-and-no-to-excuses.html

Old Flames: "Love Is Peace-Seeking And Selfless Not Turmoil And Self-Seeking" I Told Her

December 2013 

some names have been changed or omitted in this post

***********************

It was a question I didn't expect to be asked. 

And in the last place I ever expected to be asked the question.

Seriously? I thought to myself noting the irony... how and why do these types of things happen to me? Was I on "Punked" or something and just hadn't gotten the memo? It was rather amusing the way life happened sometimes, I thought to myself. 

As we both sat there at the tiny table for two enconsed in a back corner of Starbucks... connected ironically to a place... building... offices I once knew like the back of my hand where I'd once worked many moons ago as a receptionist... where I had met Jeremy a lifetime ago, I watched as couples hand in hand sidled up to the counter to order coffees and hot chocolates that chilly December morning laced with sugar and peaks of whipped cream. Couples in late morning post workout clothes outnumbered the folks in office attire. I sat across from my friend dressed in black leggings and an oversized faded turquoise sweatshirt. 

"An old flame? Yeah, that's definitely a tough one." I affirmed to her, tossing my leopard spotted wallet back into my oversized bag by my feet.

She stared at me blankly with surprise, then shrugged with frustration and looked down at the smooth table "Yeah... ugh..." She told me with a sigh resignedly. "I don't know what to do... I'm so conflicted about this. I mean, the couple friends I've opened up to I regretted it. They were so harsh with me. They told me to not contact him at all…  they told me to just stay as far away as possible. But I really do value our past and wish on some level we could keep in touch. Is that wrong?" 

Years ago my mind would have screamed Get. Me. Out. Of. Here. and my eyes would have darted toward the exit as if I could just magically propel myself toward it like a comet and disappear. But where I'd once been weak I was now strong. I knew letting her see my own past angst and pain from it would make her not feel so alone… on what she likely felt to be a desolate island.

I tugged at my leather bracelet hugging my right wrist

 stamped with the word LOVE and began… 

"I've been there. I personally know what you are going through."I admitted to her...  "God, do I know." I added dryly. "I've been in the depths of this myself… not sure what to do… really hurting, incredibly confused and overwhelmed. I've experienced the conflicting within… the struggle. And it is the hardest thing." I added and then with thought continued… " I'm not surprised by their response in what they told you. And they have every good intention, really they do… please don't be mad at them." I stressed to her… "They just don't want to see you do something you'll regret, to hurt yourself or him. Nearly the majority of those you talk to about this situation will have that response. And part of what I tell you will include that. But... " I trailed off, collecting my thoughts. I paused, wanting to make sure I was giving her a balanced response... "This is what I would consider and then you will have to take some time to mull it all over and make a decision. I think the best thing to do is look at this from a few perspectives." I told her. 

She sipped her coffee…
"Okay," she nodded leaning forward as if I was about to give her some secret code to the universe itself.

I dabbed at the whipped cream atop my hot chocolate with a stirrer as I began... 

"If someone hasn't been through this it's often hard for them to see the mixed feelings and emotions. They may not realize the enormous guilt you feel and the struggle with the idea of reconnecting with them. For people outside of it, who have never experienced it, it's easy for them... it can be very black and white thinking. It's a big blinking sign to them of 'DO NOT ENTER' and 'no, no, no!' Which... honestly… depending on where you are at emotionally, is right, wise, and sound advice. Here's the thing... to keep in mind when considering reconnecting with someone you cared for and or loved in your past... what are your intentions? You may first be curious. Or you may be missing them, yearning for what could or should have been. You may be wondering if they feel the same way. They may be happily married, they may be miserably married or they may be single and fancy free. You just don't know. But regardless if they are miserable, regardless if they are regretting losing you, regardless if they would want a re-do... if they are married, they are married. Period. Marriage is to be respected. Marriage is hard enough without adding a reconnection to the mix for goodness sakes. If they are married and you are married, that's a real reality.... of course, in your case, you aren't married."  I added. She grinned and I continued... 

"But hypothetically if he's married and all you can have is a friendship... will you accept that?" I asked her pointedly.

She looked troubled, angst showing on her pretty face. 

I knew that look. 

"Okay... let's look at it this way then..." I proposed. "Let's say he's married with the picket fence and the two point five kids, whatever. You have choices…  you can choose to not reach out or to reach out. If you reach out it has to be as friends only. Those are the two choices... it's not the choice of instantly living out a fantasy of married life to him if that's where you're at. I'd say no contact if you are not in a good place and expect something of him. In that case, heed the advice of your other friends… keep the door shut. God doesn't wish for us to cause strife, turmoil and pain for others. Love is supposed to be selfless, not selfish. Love is also peace-seeking. Look to Corinthians regarding love. If you believe you are in a place of peace, drawing wisdom and strength from God, proceed with friendship. Take your mental picture of what 'it should have been' in your mind out... remove it just momentarily and instead look at what remains. Realistically the two choices are... would you rather have zero contact or at least be able to be friends? And the next question is, will you choose to do that?" I asked her. 

She traced the top of her cup with her long French manicured index finger and pondered what I was saying. "When put like that, yes. I mean, I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all." She admitted. 

I nodded "Because you care about him that much." I affirmed as a statement instead of a question. 

She nodded "Yeah...  I do care about him. And I'd never want to do anything to cause him hurt." She shot me a look of relief. "You've really made it easier to look at this." She told me and looked grateful. "I value what I had with him even if it wasn't long term. I value him. I would rather have a friendship than nothing." She nodded "I mean... I wish we had ended up together but we didn't... and the truth is...." She trailed off, focusing on a frayed corner of her napkin in her hands. 

"You still care for him." I winced for her struggle.

She nodded with no words. 

My heart ached for her like the earth did on a cloudy day for the sun. Cast in the shadows of the corner table her face just barely revealed tears forming in her hazel eyes that matched her drapey sweater and offset her black jeans and boots. Her dark blonde hair in a messy bun resembled a halo around her head as she picked up the frayed napkin from the table to daintily wipe at the corners of her wet eyes. 

"I'm sorry it's been so hard...." I told her softly… we sat in quiet comforting silence together… then I spoke, "This isn't easy... trust me, I know... but here's the thing... I used to believe we couldn't be friends with someone we once dated and deeply cared for, maybe even saw a future with at one time. Especially if they or yourself are married. But like I said... you have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself the tough questions. I've come to a place of peace and in that I mean this... there are those who will tell you to stay far away and don't go there. And if you have expectations of him you should listen to them. Only you know. If you are secretly looking for reconciliation from him don't go there. If he was to seek something from you while married then you know it's a no go and you need to run and not look back. If you look at the situation from a peaceful, mature, holy perspective… if you look at your two choices…. keeping the door shut or choosing friendship... and keep it as only friendship if you are both or one of you married… then choose friendship. Choose love. And I obviously don't mean a romantic love. I mean an agape love. You deeply cared for this man at one time and clearly still do on some level... what a great opportunity to share Christ-like love toward him in friendship. There's no regret there... how beautiful to be able to include him in your life and share the beauty, the highs and lows, the person you've become... with authenticity and warmth, with no expectations, no pressure, no awkwardness…. that's where I'm at now… life is short and I want to live fully. We can love as one caring Christian to another, keeping with God's standards, not our own, not the world's... what a beautiful testament of life... our feelings may try to imprison us… the devil will use our weaknesses to destroy us but what ultimately wins? What ultimately covers all hurt, pain and loss? Not more pain, not more hurt, illusions or grief. Not shutting the door. Not stuffing our feelings and acting like it didn't happen. Not denying your feelings. But love. Love heals all." I told her boldly….

"Love always makes everything better, because when it's peace seeking it becomes healing and it's glorious." I told her with joy in my eyes and smiled at her. "It's maybe not about reconciliation at all... when we remove that out of the equation, we realize maybe it's about growth and becoming more of who you are meant to be. Maybe it's about loving someone without expectation. Maybe it's loving more like Jesus." I spoke. 

"And who knows... " I trailed off... "Maybe he will become available one day and you can give it a second shot. The statistics show that happens more frequently than we may realize*. And statistics also show those relationships have a high chance at success. But if it doesn't happen? Or if he does become available and he's simply not interested? It's comparable to sitting and watching a pot boil... you have to live your life. You can't sit and wait. Maybe his part in your story is over but if it is... someone better suited is coming. Because God has a plan... He's not making this up as He goes along. He has someone in mind for you. We cause ourselves stress trying to figure out everything in life. Just trust God's plan for you. Pray for the man God has in mind for you. You can never go wrong there." I smiled at her.


She sniffed and wiped at her nose with her napkin... and took a deep breathe, then exhaling. "Thank you " She smiled. "Bless you... thanks for listening and helping me wade through this... you've given me the most help... just trying to look at this... it's tough when you're in it, you know?" She asked and I nodded understandingly.

Man, did I ever know.

I had waded through those rough waters years ago myself and knew them firsthand... I was incredibly blessed to have swam to the other side... to shore and to be at a place of peace and love... we may flail about in life but God won't let us drown... He reaches in and guides us to a place of where the waters sweep the sand... where the seashells glimmer like midnight moonbeams and you wash up on shore... your cheeks flushed from exertion, your tears mixed with the salty drops of ocean water... and you lay there in sweet limp surrender to Him and say "I just want peace. I just want light. I just want to be free." 

...and He infuses you with peace... your body transforming from heavy and burdened to lithe and free... and with peace comes love... with free comes the ability to now share that love... unchained from the past, no expectations... to walk, skip and run with joyful abandon because where we were once weak we become strong... it's not the strongest who survive and inspire... it's those who have been weak, surrender and then thrive. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 


* Dr. Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. has been doing research on reunited couples since 1993 and is recognized as an international expert on rekindled love. Check out her book Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances. You can check out her website: www.lostlovers.com

Related posts: 

Weakness: When We Ask For Grace, Peace & Healing

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/04/when-we-ask-for-grace-peace-healinggod.html

Proof Of Your Love 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/04/proof-of-your-love.html


When Plans Change 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/01/when-plans-change.html

                                     

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

Toxic Ties: The Soul Ties That Bind Us To Another

1994 

this post contains language 

 some names have been omitted in this post 

**********

We had spent the afternoon strolling around the mall... and we had happened upon a photo booth... him spontaneously turning to me with a wide grin and taking my hand. 

“Come, “ he had said to me and I let myself be led by him to the tiny booth. 

He fed the machine with some paper money then pulled back the small black curtain to reveal a seat inside. I ducked my head, climbing in and he joined me. It was dark and intimate inside the cozy booth and the sounds of the bustling mall outside it became muffled... children's gleeful laughter on the carousel, the merry music it made as it spun in circles of dizzying delight... the sweet scent of cinnamon pretzels baking for hungry stomachs dissipating once we were behind the dark curtain. Sitting cramped inside the booth beside him, I was keenly aware of our close proximity, his crisply ironed Ralph Lauren dress shirt, his masculinity, his beautiful golden skin like that of caramel and my smallness in size next to him. The scent of his Boss cologne with notes of spice, citrus and suede filled the tiny booth overpowering it and I glanced at his profile, feeling the intimacy of the moment.

He pointed to the camera and we put our heads together, both smiling, waiting for the camera to count down to the final flash. It took our picture and we climbed out waiting for it to print. The black and white photo slowly emerged bit by bit, finally dispensing, he taking it. We both looked at it. There we were smiling together at the top of an eight by eleven crisp sheet of white paper with a tiny calendar printed below it on the bottom half of the page. He smiled quietly and handed it to me. I carefully took it so as not to wrinkle it and we left the mall.

Once back at the apartment I took a clear plastic pushpin and pinned the black and white photo calendar to the bulletin board on the wall next to the dresser mirror. He smiled and slipped his arm around me, looking at the photo. He turned to me and said into my right ear,

“Anh yeu em.”

“What does that mean?” I asked him, not understanding.

“It mean I love you Jen e fur.” He replied, affectionally giving me a hug using the three distinct syllables as he always did for my name, then retreated to the kitchen to prepare lunch while I stood there absorbing this new revelation by him. 

Oh, Shit!  I thought to myself. 

I gripped the edge of the black dresser with my fingers to steady myself from this new jolting news. My breath came out in ragged spurts, my fingers and nail beds turned stark white on the edge of the dresser and I glanced back up at the smiling photo pinned to the cork board. It was our first photographic proof of our time together. I looked intently at the girl in the photo smiling back at me. What the hell was happening? He loved me? No... this can't be. But yet how was it in this sick twisted mess that I had developed feelings for him? Oh God... I thought despairingly. How was that possible after what he'd done? He had committed at that time the seemingly unforgivable yet here I was standing in a quagmire of conflicting emotional hate and affection for him. How had this happened? It wasn't normal... surely it wasn't.... and yet I had no idea what to do or if I could even leave. Leaving... I knew he wouldn't take kindly to that.  

Now I had a tie to him however fucked up that was. 

Soul ties. 

However it comes about... whether it's your boyfriend, a long term relationship, a one night stand... a rape that turns into some kind of bizarre relationship when you are seventeen and you've left home... regardless of how it manifested... maybe you feel tied to this man, this person whom you've had sex with... and now you feel tied to them however destructive the tie may be... it may resemble anything but love... 

you realize it's not a tie of love and what God desires for you but more like zip  ties of bondage and subjugation.... 

that consequently brings a flurry of feelings... of control, helplessness, despair and a confused connection that isn't healthy. 

That is not a good thing. 

That is a tie that must be broken. 

************

A soul tie is an emotional/ sexual bond developed with a person that we know is not healthy for us but yet we continually feel a pull toward that person. This is can prevent us from moving forward in life and leading us to the good, healthy relationships that God desires us to have. Soul ties can leave us stuck and unable to move past the baggage we need to deal with. It can be in the case of a one night stand, a long term relationship that ended, a divorce, etc. We have to cut these toxic ties to others so that we can go on to live the life God has planned for us... cutting these ties pleases God and living to please Him is much more important than living with the gravitational pull toward another human being that is not in our best interests. God wants us to ask for help in cutting soul ties we may have with someone and praying for His help is one of the wisest things we can do. It will take time...  there may be setbacks, but by staying in God's word, admitting to Him you need help and cutting all contact with the person whom you have a soul tie with... will greatly benefit you in moving forward. Eventually over time we will find that we no longer think of this person and finally feel free! 

When we run... flee from the ties that bind us in sin.... 

When we say "no more" and shut that door... 

When we obey God and what He desires for us... 

We will be incredibly blessed and live in peace.... 

what great freedom there is in that!

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013 

Cutting soul ties: 

1. pray to God for help with cutting your soul tie

2. find healing by searching your heart for any un-forgivness toward the person 

3. cut all contact including email, phone calls and texting

4. ask for help and to be held accountable by a friend who is supportive but non judgmental 

5. throw away any mementos, cards, photos etc you have from the person 

To My Readers: 
Thank you for reading, 
commenting & sharing! 

Wishes On Stars: Someone's Great Love Is Already Written For You

“Night Sky” by samarttiw via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wish Upon A Star...



"Look at the stars... it's so pretty..." I whispered to my daughter cuddled in my king sized bed with me as we gazed up at the vaulted ceiling. It was one of those mother daughter moments when you wish time would stand still... that you could freeze this moment and their small hands, toes and noses would never grow, never change and you could relish this forever. Stars in colors of green, purple and blue were projected onto the ceiling above us from her well loved unicorn Dream Lite.... stars magically changed colors before our eyes in the dark comfort and coziness of the room... the only background noise being the air conditioning coming on to cool the house on another hot June night. We laid there together side by side under the pale gray sheets quietly watching the stars change from green to purple to blue then back to green again....

"You can make a wish...." I told her.


"What should I wish for?" she asked softly never taking her eyes off the stars overhead. Her freshly washed soft blonde brown hair reminiscent of beach waves smelled like a mixture of Aveeno shampoo and Caress body wash in scents of coconut, orchid and lily.


"Anything you want." I replied easily in return.


"I want a new daddy." she whispered in the quiet of the room.


My heart sank.


I could only assume that what she truly wanted was the daddy she had to stop behaving how he was. Understandably, she wanted him to stop snapping, to stop yelling, to stop ordering, to stop twisting, to stop lying, to stop controlling....

to just stop. 

How often as children and adults do we wish we could change the people in our life? Sometimes, the changes we believe that are needed are justified and truly would make a positive difference in our lives and other's.



But we can't change other's no matter how much we want them to. We can pray to God for change and we may see it come to fruition or other times not. We may question why God is not doing more or doing anything to change this person or that person in our life. Undoubtedly it can be frustrating for us and as human beings we want answers and results.... and with that typically yesterday, as we don't usually enjoy waiting much. The answer as to why a person hasn't changed isn't always an easy one or maybe ever even realized but people do have the ability to change... especially if they are open to God working in them and readily humble themselves before Him. For through Him we can do anything.



Until change takes place or even if it never does, we can take comfort in knowing that God is with us and sees our frustration. It's perfectly fine to go to God with our hurts and disappointments and lay them before Him and ask for comfort and healing which will act as a soothing balm for our hurting hearts.



We may have faced tear jerking, heart wrenching disappointments in our life... we may want change to take place in the people in our life. But we can hold fast onto God and remember that even in the midst of the yelling, the snapping, the obscenities, the fear and the control inflicted by the earthly father in our life...

Thankfully we don't have to make a wish on a star that God is there for us.

It's already written in the stars.

God is who made them. 

It's not magic.

It's very real.

He is there.

Always and forever.



© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2013

To My Readers:

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing!