Husbands & Romance: What Wives Want

He noticed all of her… 

If you've read the novel The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller you may very well be familiar with that line. Reading the book for the first time this past week has brought much thought into the realm of romance. In the story Francesca Johnson mourns the fact that romance is nonexistent in her marriage to Richard… and when Robert Kincaid stops by one day asking for directions her entire world shifts. In no way do I condone Francesca's cheating but there is much in this story that needs to be scrutinized and reflected upon as the novel reflects the ill health of so many marriages today not just Francesca Johnson's fictional one.


Francesca Johnson laments what lacks in her marriage and what lacks becomes so much more glaringly obvious once Robert enters her life. But the lacking was always there just the same. It was always between her and her husband. It always separated them like smoke in a bar… each of them at distant ends one perhaps realizing there was an issue… the other oblivious to any. The lack in her marriage and her husband Richard's inability to realize it leads us to what do women want in their marriage and what would make it better if men were only willing to open their eyes and see it?


Reading The Bridges of Madison County gives us an inkling into what women truly want, how they want to live in their marital relationships and if men were willing to give the book a read they just might see the spark that may be missing with their own wife. But if not… here are some ideas… this post was inspired by my reading the book these past few days… and somewhere I believe there will be a wife or two (maybe more) nodding in utter agreement.


Husbands… 


What does your wife want?

She wants you to make love to her on the kitchen floor as chili simmers in a pot on the stove on a Saturday night… as the rain patters on the roof she wants to gasp and moan; reaching for the edge of dark night sky in ecstatic symphony.

She wants you to take her hands and dance to a slow tune on the radio… listening to the crickets chirp, feeling the coolness of the patio under your bare feet, the scent of gardenias nearby; you pluck one for her hair and tell her how incredibly beautiful she is.

She wants you to run a hot bath for her complete with bubbles and when the foam is daring to overflow the tub call her that it's ready, hand her a cold beer and brush her hair while she tells you anything and everything she needs to get off her chest.

She wants you to take her hand; please never tire of taking her hand and holding it when going places, particularly crossing the street; she wants to know you still care, that she still matters and you wouldn't dream of leaving her behind.

She wants you to send her a text while you're at work that doesn't demand anything, doesn't ask anything of her… but to just simply say "I'm thinking of you."

She wants you to say her name with endearment, not irritation or impatience… that when she hears you speak her name… she knows that it means something… that it's special to you and not ordinary.

She wants you to walk or run the trails with her and explore; to never tire of exploring the world with her no matter how local or far away.

She wants more pictures not less.

She wants you to see her as an individual not just as "your wife" like some kind of appendage or property owned.

She wants you to support her dreams, to encourage her, to not let her take the easy way out.

She wants you both to be on an active anti-boredom mission… boredom kills a marriage so quickly, like weeds that infest a neighbors yard; soon it takes over and what life was there is wiped out.

She wants you to make sweet love to her as if time frames, clocks and deadlines don't exist… she wants you to give her the delicious attention she desires and not just go through the motions of mechanics.

She wants you to open doors, to help carry things, be chivalrous because she knows she can do it on her own but the gesture of your kindness matters to her.

She wants you to plan vacations away… she wants you to take her someplace with a pretty view… beautiful settings are like a salve for weary souls… and spending time together in them makes for even sweeter memories.

She wants you to put down the remote control on an occasional evening and ask her what she wants in life… in five years, in ten years, in twenty… she wants you to ask her something besides where is your neck tie and what's for supper.

She wants you to tell her that she's an amazing wife and mother… and that if you had it do all over again, yes, you would marry her.

She wants you to be willing to pursue every single avenue in making your marriage better before daring saying you're done.

She wants you to pray for her, for her safety, health and well-being… she wants you to know you talk to God about her and thank Him for her.

She wants you to lead her in love… not crassness, not ambivalence, not apathy or dispassion but interest and purpose.

It may seem like a tall order… it might seem like a lot of work… but honestly, it's the difference between a marriage with life in it and one of impending death… romance adds so much to our marital lives and when we put in the effort to implement even a few things it can add infinite richness and beauty.

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2015

Thank you for reading,

commenting and sharing! 

Marriage: 5 Lessons Learned

names have been omitted from this post 

2014 

************************

I checked my email and looked for new alerts to the single site I had signed up for… okay, technically, sites. I did a huffy breath like the character Junie B Jones does in the books my daughter likes me to read to her at bedtime as I scrolled through the alerts I had in my inbox.

"Humph…" I huffed and slipped my iPhone into the inside pocket of my purse.

My mother glanced over at me.

"You ready to go?" she asked me.

"Yep" I replied and we left, slipping into her car. As we backed down the drive onto the street she spoke "So? You didn't say anything. Did you get anybody new?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah!"

I said with a laugh, leaning down to rummage through my bag for my chapstick. I slicked on some cherry flavored Chapstick and checked it in the visor mirror then flipping it upward. Tucking the chapstick back in my purse I spoke, "Now I'm getting twenty-two year olds. Their either sixty year olds or now twenty something's. Nothing in between. What am I? Mrs. Robinson? This is insane." I rolled my eyes and watched out the window as she made a right turn pulling onto the main thoroughfare. "Seriously, I want my money back. There should be a guarantee on those sites that you'll meet someone. The only guy my age I've interacted with behaved like a wierdo."

"What was up with him?" she asked, frowning as she switched lanes.

I reached down and picked up the small bottle of lotion resting in the cup holder nearby and began dispensing cool creamy lotion into the palm of my left hand "We were messaging, right? He asks me what I did that day. I tell him I worked then went on a walk at the park… you know, exercise?" I nod at her and she affirms that that sounds normal enough. "Well, then… he replies with 'Ugh! Yuck! I don't go outside!'… yeah, that was it. The whole conversation. So I moved on. I mean, who doesn't go outside?! His profile picture? Get this!… He was outside!!! Oh my Lord, seriously. I guess he went out that one time and it nearly did him in. Holy cow, I needed a compress on my head after that interaction." I quipped and she laughed.

"I think you need a refund. I don't see you finding anyone on those sites…" she murmured and smiled "I mean, you're better off just meeting someone."

"Yeah, probably so…" I admitted and paused in thought watching the traffic slow to a stop beside us at the next red light. Nearby were trendy lofts, hair salons and a gelato shop with hot neon lights in the window beckoning customers with it's open sign. I spoke "How do you find someone who likes Bogie movies, is athletic, drives a truck and opens the door like a gentleman but believes a woman should have equal rights and appreciates her spunk mixed with a pursuit of being a Proverbs 31 woman? A man who pursues Jesus, adores your softness and femininity and kind heart, your beauty within, but can also in the same sentence say with a smile 'You're ballsy' because he knows your spunk, fire, your spirit… and he genuinely loves it. Where do you find that man?" I asked thoughtfully aloud.

There was no reply.

We didn't have the answer.

But I hope one day I do.


You may be in the same position as I… wondering how you will meet that special someone. And then… after the fact, after you've "clicked" with them… wondering how you will do better this time around in a relationship… a marriage even. If you've been married before, perhaps your mis-steps of where you coulda, shoulda done better are glaringly obvious… as we all have something we can learn from… we all have the chance to learn from our past mistakes and apply learned lessons to our next relationship… as well with growth and maturity know what works and what obviously does not.


I've learned many lessons about marriage… and although I could write a book alone on what I've learned, I've come up with a short condensed list of the top five lessons. Some may prove to leave you nodding in agreement and some may have you pondering your own past experience in retrospect.


5 Lessons Learned From Marriage:

1. Spunk Is Fine… 

But Not Unhealthy Communication

When you're angry… slamming doors and stomping (or yelling) off like a three year old does zero good for anyone. In the very early years of my marriage I was guilty of this and had to consciously work on actually communicating...articulating how I felt and not expecting my mind to be read. Thank God for overcoming! My strength has always been writing but learning to communicate in a healthy manner (versus negative actions we may have had for examples as children) is incredibly vital to a successful relationship. Yes, sometimes we do need a mini break, absolutely and that's okay. But we can also do that in love… we can say "I need a time out. Be right back." and softly retreat, giving ourselves some time… taking a deep breath and then going back to our spouse ready to communicate in a constructive, loving manner. 

2. If It's Really Important To You… Make Sure You Get It

 I married someone who was not romantic, whose perceptive and insightful friend suggested multiple times over the years for him to shower me with moments of romance… candles, bubble baths, home cooked meals made together… but those dreams never came to fruition. Was I disappointed? Yes, terribly… it's still something I yearn for. Many times I tried to broach the subject and tell him how I felt but change for the better never happened. Instead, I was met with grabbing and crass words of "Get your hot $%* over here!" I never want to go through that again. The alternative of being alone is preferable to that. As women we want someone who is tenderhearted toward us… who desires us, who is insightful, who sees us as their best friend, equal and lover. We need to be sure we are completely certain who we are marrying and not sway on what we deem as must haves. 

3. He's Crazy + She's Co-Dependent 

= Unhealthy

Being too dependent. This is a known trait of women who attract men who are manipulative… these men prey knowing their target's kind nature and their tendency to put the relationship's importance/success ahead of their own self importance/worth... and these men use it to their own advantage. I had not spent enough time figuring out who I was before marrying. I also didn't create a niche of my own during my married years as I couldn't stand on my own two feet. To my own detriment and later in the wake of my divorce trying to quickly put my life together was enough to send anyone into near panic mode. It's imperative women don't allow themselves to "be home" all the time in the event he maybe decides to stroll in the door and make his presence. What are you doing with your time? With your life? Yes, if you're pursuing being a good wife and mother you naturally want to make a loving home the center of your focus. Being at home full time today is often viewed with disdain by society when at one time it was for privileged women. But it's so important for women to also have a balance… to not lose themselves and then find themselves in a precarious position later in their marriage… where they have no life of their own, especially in the possible demise of their marriage. What peaks your interest? Volunteering? Working part-time? Full time? Grow and develop yourself. Don't get yourself backed into a corner where you find yourself trying to save your partner's downfall or the relationship as a whole… be aware of these unhealthy patterns. Instead, find what gives you purpose outside the home so your husband does not become a crutch… dependency isn't love in the free sense but actually love cloaked in fear and invisible handcuffs.  

4. A Partnership = A Marriage

Marriage is about having a partnership. It's about coming together in the good, challenging and even hard times. It's not about one person winning, having the upper hand, being fully in control. You will find times when you disagree… and maybe finally you agree to disagree on the subject at hand. In that case perhaps the subject should be dropped and re-approached later on… it's not right for one person to go ahead and make a choice. If a decision must be made… see if there is a middle road that can be reached… both parties should walk away from the conversation feeling good… not bullied into something they feel vehemently opposed to. 

5. Appreciation: 

We Can Tailor It To Our Spouse

We may voice appreciation for our husbands and we know they love these words of love… but could we be a bit more specific? Instead of emitting a general statement of "You're such a great provider!"… maybe a better way would be specifically saying "Thank you for dealing with difficult clients at work and being our provider! I know everyday is not a picnic!" This tells him that you intimately understand the frustrations and workings in his world he encounters each day… whether it's disgruntled clients, customers who don't show up, a boss who behaves like a tyrant or even trying office politics amongst co-workers. When we give our husband concrete examples of what we observe him going through it reassures him that we truly know the hoops and hurdles he must navigate to be our shining hero out in the world each day. And that, ladies… brings a genuine smile to his face. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

To My Readers;

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

Bridging The Gap: 30 Questions To Ask Someone

When you go about your day have you ever noticed how many people have poker faces? I would be willing to bet quite a few. It seems as though when I'm out and about during my day that often people are visibly surprised when you smile at them. Then once the fleeting surprise has passed a smile is returned by them. So often it's that we go about our days in a blur, not really noticing the details… the people around us. We go through the motions of saying things like "Hi, how are you today?" and if you live in Texas "Oh, this weather is crazy, huh? One day it's ninety, the next it's raining and seventy degrees." We admittedly go about our days with these standard sayings not really connecting with anyone.


If I met you today… I'd love to connect. To listen. To talk. To understand. I would hope for no superficial conversation… no mere polite chatting… but realness. I'd love to hear what your real, raw and unedited story is. What you've been through. What your hopes are. What you've struggled with. What makes your voice crack with emotion. What you want to see change in the world for the better. It's these conversations that are meaningful… that are real and what helps us all connect… that makes our differences seem not so different and bridges the gap between assumptions and truth.

And yet… it's so often that we hide… we edit ruthlessly… we cringe… hoping people will like what they see… us, the tidy package we may present for the outside world to see.

But it's not just out in the public, in the world that we do this… this edited dialogue may be what is happening at home… with our loved ones, our families, our spouses. Has your spouse or your child become a stranger to you? Do you wish you were connecting better? Maybe you yearn inside for a closer bond and yet the words escape your lips of what on earth to say. Maybe you settle for a hug and the comforting silence between you… and some days that satisfies… just physical closeness, the warmth of someone else. And yet… perhaps there are days you wish for more.

People today are hungry for connection. 

When we open up and share our innermost thoughts, our fears, our, past, our struggles… they no longer hold any power over us… and it enables us to connect to others on a deeper level. 

Learning Something New Even In Our Marriage… 

As time goes by in our marriage we may believe we already know everything about our spouses. We may finish each others sentences, we may know their favorite foods, how they take their coffee and what they prefer in bed. We may certainly know a lot but there is always the chance we could learn more… something new and unexpected. 

Maybe there's something new to learn about our children as well… they are rapidly changing as they graduate from grade schooler to pre-teen and grow through the teenage years… their likes and dislikes are constantly evolving… what they dream of doing one day, their beliefs, their goals, etc. 

Here is a list of thirty questions to ask the person you love, to get to know them better… maybe for someone you just started dating… or even your sister, mom, or bestie. You may already know (or think you do) the answers to some… but maybe some will be a surprise.


1. Describe your perfect day.
2. What makes you cry?
3. What are you most grateful for?
4. What super power would you want to have?
5. What do you value most in friendship?
6. What's the worst thing that's happened to you?
7. What is your favorite memory?
8. Complete this sentence: I really want to ______ with _______.
9. What is your most embarrassing moment?
10. What do you not find funny?
11. What have you not told someone that you know you need to? Why haven't you?
12. What is your definition of success?
13. What was your last prayer?
14. When you blow out the candles on the birthday cake do you make a wish?
15. Describe a happy moment and what song was playing.
16. If you could go anywhere in the world right now where would it be?
17. What worries you?
18. What impact do you want to leave on the world?
19. What behaviors are you unwilling to tolerate?
20. What is your biggest accomplishment?
21. What makes you smile?
22. When did you not speak up and wish you had?
23. What was the last bible verse you read?
24. Would you do anything differently if you knew no one would judge you?
25. What is your biggest fear?
26. What is your biggest hope?
27. What do you thank God for the most often?

29. What is your favorite mental snapshot? 

30. What's the kindest thing you've ever done for someone?

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

Clink the link below for Grace Power Strength pins on Pinterest 

http://www.pinterest.com/jengumdropgirl/

Related Posts:

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http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/10/behind-closed-doors-who-are-you.html

Romantic Ideas + Your Spouse = Shining Love

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/09/romantic-ideas-your-spouse-shining-love.html

5 Acts Of Love: When A Woman Loves A Man

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/09/5-acts-of-love-when-woman-loves-man.html

Divorce & Matt Walsh: Not All "Change" Is Merely A Challenge

Matt Walsh recently wrote a blog post posted on May 29th, 2014 titled:

 My Wife Is Not The Same Woman That I Married. 

You can read it here: http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/05/29/wife-person-married/

Matt Walsh shows his naiveté in this post regarding divorce and as he may very well have great intentions... as the second portion about his wife is beautiful… in the first half he writes about how divorced folks today take marriage not-so-seriously… and instead intimates at their finalization they are seemingly ready to celebrate; slice their divorce cake, pop champagne and dance on the tables. Perhaps they are in some cases but to make a blanket assumption about divorced individuals is far from accurate.


He hasn't been divorced.
He hasn't walked that path.
He hasn't known that pain.
He is no better than you and me.

People don't wear a badge of honor 
because their married and 
someone else is divorced. 

Likewise just because someone is legally married does not mean for a second they are in a successful marriage. How do we define a successful marriage? A legal marriage does not constitute a marriage filled with love and selflessness. This is not automatic. Numbers don't matter. People don't give much or any credit to someone saying they've been married 3 years, 5 years or even ten. Their like a baby… and might as well be wearing diapers. There are couples who have been married 20, 35, 50 years and are miserable. There are spouses in these longterm marriages who have endured horrible abuse…  whether emotionally or physically or perhaps both. Can we call those marriages successful? No. Hands down they aren't. Marriage should be a reflection of love… of Jesus… and where abuse resides under a roof Christlike love doesn't. 

per Matt Walsh… 

"Divorcing someone because they change?

You might as well divorce them because they breathe".

Many of us that have divorced have done so due to highly toxic marriages… relationships that perhaps began somewhat good… maybe even great… but soon after the "I do's" or some years later the union began spiraling downward… as one spouse CHANGED… but not regular change… not healthy change… not growth… not becoming better or even just different but instead… change due to...

Narcissism

Craziness  

Sociopathic Traits

Abusive Behavior

Controlling 

Alcoholism

Jealousy

Manipulation

Addictions

Criminal-prone actions

Deviant Behavior

Without a doubt we all change as we journey through life… and for many successful marriages the changes are of two people who are striving for personal greatness individually and as a couple. They are encouragers, they are cheerleaders, they are supportive and lift each other up… not one person pulling the other one down causing despair, chaos and grief.


I can tell you that anyone who has been through a marriage filled with dysfunction at best… but more accurately abuse… they are divorcing because they've suffered a long time. This was a long road, this was a road riddled with a weary "I have to keep trying" and a resolute "I won't give up"… and even cries of "God? Are you there?" Divorce is not the easy way out by any means. Divorce isn't for wimps or sissies. We don't divorce because someone changed in a way that doesn't fit our "comfort zone" as Walsh put it. I don't know any woman or man for that matter who finds the "challenges" of living with someone emotionally unstable or narcissistic or that lies and cheats something that can be merely chalked up to as out of their "comfort zone". There will always be true challenges in marriage yet there are also behaviors ie; actions that shouldn't be happening… that violate the very foundation of trust between two people… that threaten the very core of the union. Actions chosen by one spouse like domestic violence, stonewalling, gas-lighting, infidelity and more are not challenges easily dealt with or that even should be. There are repercussions to all of these actions… bruises and broken bones, psychological distress, sexually transmitted diseases, setting an unhealthy example of love for your children and more. Let's keep in mind that people who have divorced didn't go into marriage desiring divorce to be the outcome… no matter what belief you have, no matter what your faith.

I believe people of all walks of life and a wide spectrum of life circumstances need reaching out, they need support and they need to feel like they are not in their hurt alone. People no matter what age, race, sex or background, they want to feel like they belong… that they matter. And you do. You're divorced. So what? God may hate divorce for what it does… for the pain it causes and it grieves Him. But He doesn't hate you.

 I certainly didn't utter my wedding vows with the thought I would ever be signing divorce papers one day. When our dreams are shattered we aren't dancing on tables, or making toasts, were often watching dreams go down the drain that we looked forward to for a lifetime. Today, looking back at seven year old me… playing Barbies, building with Lincoln Logs and making mud pies in the backyard, I never ever would have guessed I'd be divorced one day. Never in a million years. As a little girl I wanted to get married and live happily ever after. As a little girl every Christmas my family would load up in the family car and drive across town… every year in December at Christmastime the residents along the lake on the west side would put up light displays. The various displays would twinkle, their colors reflecting off the water, shimmering in the moonlight. Our vehicle would slow to a stop and we'd peer out at the beautiful lights in awed silence. All the magnificent homes would be lit up in the background… and as we'd make the turn around the corner to pass by the homes… I always thought to myself… one day… I hope one day I live here, in this neighborhood… in one of these homes… I want the windows lit with light and laughs within. I want memories and extended family… I want the Currier and Ives moment.

I want the fairy tale.

You know what?

I got it. 


I grew up.
I got married.
I had kids.
I lived in that neighborhood.
I had the lights on the lake at Christmas.
The windows were lit up every night like a beacon of hope.


Yes, I had everything.

Everything…

but love. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

To my readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing

Cheating: 50 Shades Of Lies ~ 5 Reasons To Not Keep Him

October  2012 

 names have been omitted in this post 

this post contains some language

****************

He was suddenly going on early morning jogs... that wasn't like him. At six nearly every morning now he'd throw on black running shorts and a t-shirt, bolting out of the bedroom, down the stairs and out into the inky blackness that was still blanketing the city. 

Each morning I had drowsily fallen back asleep until it was absolutely necessary to get up, clamber downstairs and hustle the children out of bed to begin getting everyone ready for school. I wasn't by definition a morning person and the snooze button knew it... but that morning, that particular morning it would be different… when he woke I pretended to be asleep, then sprang to action as soon as I heard the door downstairs shut behind him. My suspicions had been growing and now curiosity had won. 

Going to the computer and turning it on cast a bright light in the dark room that quickly brought me from my drowsy state to alert. I maximized the pages that were minimized and began searching with quick eyes for any information that looked dubious…. but I didn't have to search, as everything I needed was right there, seemingly waiting to be found, not hidden at all. Instant messages detailed the woman he was seeing in online exchanges with his best friend. The responses being that his happiness should come first... nowhere was there anyone batting an eye that he was cheating on me. Nowhere was there outrage, upset or someone pointing the finger at him saying "Get it together!" or "I'm going to tell her if you don't." 

Nothing but accolades and justification all in the name of pursuing happiness… and how incredibly dumb women are. Oh really? I thought… we will see about that. I quickly began snapping screen shot photos of all the messages with my iPhone... scrolling... scrolling... scrolling some more…click, click, click. My heart meanwhile beat ninety to nothing in my chest with frantic speed as I continued to capture all the evidence I needed and more. Maximizing his email that was readily available I began photographing any messages that looked suspect. I realized I was shaking like a leaf and had to steady my iPhone to retake a few that had turned out blurred. I'd take the time to pour over the emails later in detail that I had captured. 

A photo of the woman he'd been with was there... she could have been my younger sister. We literally looked nearly identical. Hauntingly identical. She wore clothes I would have worn... she had similar body language... it was undeniably creepy yet I didn't have anger toward her… his behavior was solely the issue at hand. 

I quickly began putting everything back where it was... then taking photos of all of his credit cards front and back and all other personal information of his I could find for the attorneys office that I knew they would need... then I shoved everything back in place with shaky fingers as I'd found it. 

Jumping back in bed with a thumping heart, I laid there on my side of the King sized bed within the charcoal gray sheets wrapped up, in my cozy plaid pajama pants and top, waiting for him to return. Just a couple minutes later I heard his footsteps enter downstairs, the beep beep of the alarm as the door opened and shut…  and then listened as he began climbing up the creaky staircase. He didn't bother coming in the bedroom but instead continued down the hall to the bathroom. Light poured down the hallway from it and I heard him turn on the shower to let the water heat up momentarily. 

I rose from bed and walked down the hall into the bright spacious master bath where he stood at his separate brown, black and gold speckled granite counter and porcelain sink. Seeing me he turned with surprise and I smiled brightly at him "Did you have a good run?" I asked him... not being able to resist asking him... 

He didn't bat an eye when he responded, "Yea! It was great." He replied then observed... "You're up early." 

"That's great!" I returned with a smirk, ignoring the latter... you sorry piece of shit... I added silently to myself as I walked out of the room. 

I Am Done 

Time passed and he continually put his foot in his mouth, 

the shady behavior continued, 

the lies now so glaringly obvious, how could 

they have ever been missed… 

it should have been funny yet it wasn't. 

Sitting in my attorneys office one day my attorney sat back in his large leather chair gazing at me appraisingly…  "So you haven't talked to him?" He asked thoughtfully "Are you sure you want to do this? File?" He asked. 

I calmly looked at him and nodded "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

 I told him with absolute certainty. 

*******************

"I don't know how you kept yourself under control… how did you keep from saying anything to him?" my friend asked me during breakfast one morning… "No way I could have done that… I would have confronted him the moment he walked in." she told me.

"At the end of the day… for me, there was nothing to discuss. This wasn't a one time incident which would have been bad enough… this was an ongoing choice he continued to make over a period of time. He knew what he was doing. He'd made his choice over and over again choosing to have his cake and eat it too. I made the final choice for myself and ultimately for him. If he didn't like it, tough." I shrugged "Don't put a person in the position to make that choice. Don't cheat."

Everyone has to approach dealing with a cheating spouse in the way they feel is best for them and everyone has different tolerance levels for what they are willing to put up with and what they will refuse to accept at all. It's a personal decision and varies from person to person but here are five top valid reasons to consider if you've been cheated on: 

5 Valid Reasons To Not Keep Him:

1. Most of the time he will not change. You can't change him. He has to want to of his own accord.
2. Staying with him models acceptance of an unhealthy marriage for your children.
3. Peace of Mind… who wants to worry about contracting a sexually transmitted disease all the time?
4. We often have the mental narrative of "I'm not giving up on us. I won't quit!" But is this HIS mindset also? Or are you the only one with that mentality?
5. Worry-free without him. You won't be worrying if he's lying to you, not where he's supposed to be and if he's cheating again.


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

CHEATING IS JUST ONE

 OF MANY FORMS OF 

DISRESPECT 

BY A SPOUSE

#GIRLS  #Ladies #TrustYourInstincts

All those times you were worried for him, prayed for him, 

loved him, took care of him, 

was a blessing to him, 

cheered him on… 

he was filled 

with contempt for you… 

because he needed 

you for narcissistic supply 

and fulfillment and yet 

at the same time 

he resented you for it. 

It's pretty straight forward, really… 

if a person decides to betray you, 

you then have every right to not give 

them the benefit of the doubt, 

to not engage in a circle of excuses…

but instead to make the best decision 

for yourself. 

Walk off to a new beginning,

a fresh start and 

leave the craziness behind. 

If you choose divorce... 

God will help you to the other side 

and life will be that much 

sweeter and peaceful  

without the toxic chaos you lived. 

At the end of the day, 

after all the hurt and healing, 

you really did me a favor... Thanks!

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing! 

Related Posts:

Wives: 3 Lies We Tell Ourselves & 5 Signs A Marriage Needs Help
http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2014/01/wives-lies-we-tell-ourselves-5-signs.html


Cheating: Off The Narrow Path Step By Step
http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/12/cheating-off-narrow-path-step-by-step.html


Projection & Signs Of A Cheating Spouse
http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/09/projection-and-signs-of-cheating-spouse.html

ADHD: Marriage + Compassion & Grace = Love

winter 2013

some names have been changed 

or omitted in this post

**************************

"I still remember the night Jeremy told me he had ADHD..." I told her as I walked the busy park trail with her. The weather had been waffling between thirty degree days and then temps in the sixties or seventies; little spurts of radiating warmth that was incredibly welcoming because of the icy winter season we'd had. Everyone was out... women jogged by with babies in strollers, men ran with their  four legged companions on leashes and kids skateboarded by with their friends. 

As we continued our way along the path... taking in the view of the murky water below that ducks glided across I spoke with a grin "I look back on that night now and see the irony in the situation... he's standing there telling me he has ADHD and I distinctly remember thinking to myself.... 'Oh, that's that thing where you're distracted'... then I was off on the next thought!" I laughed. 

"You never told me this..." She shook her head with amusement "Really? You? Distracted? That doesn't sound like you at all!" She teased me then asked "What on earth distracted you?" 

"Oh, heck... I have no idea! It could have been any number of things! Maybe a bird flew by the window, the air conditioner came on, him.... who knows!" I laughed aloud... "but it's absolutely hilarious to me now because who knew I had it too! I get more entertainment from ADHD related life situations!"

She chuckled at that and nodded, "At least you can see the humor in it!" She acknowledged.  

It's true. 

Seeing The Humor… 

Seeing the humor in our situations in life is one of the most important things we can do whether we have ADHD or not. It keeps us from viewing everything too seriously and humor can often be linked to grace... when we acknowledge, admitting, in humble awareness that we were wrong, handled something incorrectly, or just missed the mark unintentionally in a situation or shared experience... it does something great... it allows you to give yourself likely much needed grace and anyone else that needs it too. 

Missing the mark however unintentionally happens a lot when someone has ADHD. Oftentimes people think we are going around intentionally engaging in less than stellar behavior when we truly aren't doing it on purpose. In fact, it may not even be on our radar. When our non-ADHD spouse asks us to please fetch them a glass of water from the kitchen and an hour later goes by... Hello, Facebook, Pinterest, Yahoo!, etc.... they then believe we must be angry at them for whatever reason or most likely believe us to be uncaring because we can't seem to or don't wish to follow one simple request.... they get grouchy and sulk, complain, gripe, etc and then we feel bad, we feel huge guilt because we know that wasn't our intention. We don't mean to come across as detached at times. We don't mean to come across as not in tune with or uncaring toward the one we married... when in fact people with ADHD are some of the most caring, creative, romantic and passionate people you'll ever meet. So while our spouse is simmering and feeling ignored we begin feeling huge guilt... giving ourselves the internal all too familiar grueling pep talk of "You've gotta try harder! You've gotta stay more in tune! More focused!  More in the moment!" 

Not Being So Hard On Yourself…

Yeah, that's all good maybe if you're on medication but the reality is... sans medication telling yourself "just try harder" may only serve to frustrate you more. It's often more pressure, more expectation and more stress put upon yourself. 

Often people who don't have ADHD can't comprehend why ADHD has such far reaching effects on people in their lives and how on earth something could cause such difficulty. But it truly can and it's capable of inflicting a lot damage to your marriage if you don't both have strategies set in place and most importantly if the non-ADHD spouse is not understanding. A spouse's ADHD can affect everything, even your spouse believing you just don't give a rat's rear about them because you're hyper focused on a project that could be either work related or a hobby.

Hyper! Focus!… 

The person with ADHD often wavers back and forth between being distracted and not in the present moment to the other extreme... hyper focused on something like scrapbooking from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m., leaving your spouse looking at you like some freak of nature as you amazingly assemble a handmade scrapbook for the kids complete with embellishments, captions and photos that would have taken anyone else weeks to months to complete in small increments of time. Then there is the possible risk of your budget being negatively affected if the one with ADHD impulsively spends money that's not figured in the budget or takes extreme risks to their health and safety like on the road or skydiving... all of this and more can add up to the relationship you have with your spouse being not so great. 

The Reminder Relationship…

A partnership between two should ideally stand on equal ground instead of turning into a parent/child or "reminder relationship".... because what happens over time is the non-ADHD spouse begins to feel they must overcompensate or bring to light the ADHDer's potential slack. They feel as though they have to be a walking calendar and alarm system for the person with ADHD... "Did you pick up the so and so?", "When is your next dentist appointment?", "Did you call back so and so?" In turn it gets to be equally incredibly annoying(!) as someone with ADHD when you have someone continually making remarks that only serve to further impress upon you that you're lagging behind on what's on the calendar (sometimes before you've even had the opportunity to forget something) and they are behaving superior. 

*******************

We came upon a point in our beautiful afternoon walk where the sidewalk ended and now the path became rough and uneven... like life often does throwing us for a loop when not expected. 

"I loved being on that Vyvanse for the most part..." I admitted to her "For the first time in my life I got to see what 'normal' or 'typical' is. It was awesome... I got so much done, it was unreal. The biggest drawback was the extreme weight loss which wasn't good. And at the same time I kept feeling like a part of me was missing while on it. ADHD doesn't define me yet is a part of who I am... I'm not real sure where it and I begin or end. It's weird... life is funnier off medication. Being on it life is much more productive but also much more serious. I truly believe one of the biggest factors with dealing with ADHD is having a sense of humor. If you and your spouse can't laugh about it there's trouble. I'm trying new medication to see how I do and yet in that I'm not looking for perfection. Just a bit of help... and whoever I'm with one day is going to have to be understanding... in that if I miss a day or two of medication they aren't threatening me with divorce. If we don't have compassion and grace for each other but instead treat our spouse as an inconvenience how can we ever have love?" 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

Thank you for reading,

commenting and sharing! 

When He Tries To Change You! And 5 Tips To Not Change Him

"The longer my marriage went on the more I felt like Eliza Doolittle," I told her. "You know... Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady... the girl who Henry Higgins tries to mold into what he wants. He tries to change everything about her." 

She yanked open the door to the refrigerator and took out a package of hamburger beef setting it down on the counter with a loud thud!... it was still partially frozen and had to finish defrosting before she could form it into patties. Her tone was angry as she spoke: 

"I could see that! I kept thinking just who does he think he is? Expecting my daughter to change when my daughter is a catch. If you needed to change something, as your mother I'll tell you you need to!" she exclaimed with a grin.

I laughed at that, amused and she shook her head as she continued...

"It takes a lot of nerve! It made me so mad." 

"It was like I was a pet project. But at the same time it's so insidious how it happens... this way of wrapping it up pretty to make it out like he's genuinely trying to help or something. If I didn't like something he didn't see it as part of who I am... instead it was a deep flaw that needed to be overcome. I mean, it wasn't like I needed dire help with an addiction or required intervention of some kind. It wasn't a character issue he was trying to encourage change for the better but it was superficial stuff, more personality related than anything."

She nodded as she grabbed a knife from the cutlery drawer and began slicing an onion into tiny cubes. "If he couldn't accept you as you were then he shouldn't have married you." 

"I think he wanted someone who dressed like a Stepford wife and that's fine for a party or wedding I suppose but I'm more practical, just jeans and a shirt for everyday. I feel like Marion the Librarian in a dress, heels and button down sweater. It's cute on some women but it's just not me. And yet he changed so much over the years. Who I married was not who I divorced." I told her as I continued assembling the homemade chicken enchiladas I was making. "I really think once we found out I had ADHD that was the final clencher... he acted like I was inferior because of it instead of being supportive. He couldn't relate to it and ultimately we were speaking two different languages." 

She rinsed off her hands at the white porcelain sink and dried them on the striped kitchen towel hanging nearby. "Well, at least there is medication to help with ADHD. But there's no magic pill to fix jerky behavior." She told me then added, "People shouldn't try to change others or be somebody else... just be yourself." 

Just be yourself. 

Three words that are so important. 

Especially today in a world that tries to get you to be anybody but yourself. Today young women and men both need to know more than ever that "to be yourself" is one of the most important messages you will ever hear.

Ladies,

If you feel like you have to change 
yourself to

 GET HIM

 or 

KEEP HIM 

you should 

DUMP HIM. 

If he begins trying to change you

that's when you know he's 

not good nor healthy for you.

Just move on because somewhere down the line will be a guy… maybe not the next guy or the one after that… but there will surely be a guy who likes who you are; flaws, baggage, likes, dislikes and all.

***********************

He will be fine with the fact you'd rather wear jeans than a skirt to dinner and would rather scarf tacos than a steak.

He will be fine with the fact you blast the stereo in the kitchen and dance to Push It by Salt N Pepa because life doesn't have to be serious all the time.

He will be fine with the fact you wear leggings, a Pink sweatshirt and your hair in a bun at home because when you are at your most comfortable you are your most beautiful.

He will be fine with the fact you hate brussels sprouts and mango's and yet he won't stop eating them just because you don't care for them and you wouldn't want him to.

He will be fine with the fact you wear heels even if you tower over him, appreciating your beauty.

He will be fine with the fact that roller coasters aren't your forte because there is surely something he himself doesn't care for that you like.

He will be fine with the fact that maybe sometimes you kinda hog the queso at restaurants like a kid and sits back to let you indulge because it's your favorite thing ever and he thinks it's cute.

He will be fine with all the ugliness of your past, will appreciate you for who you are and loves you… he wants to kiss your scars and hurts with care instead of inflicting more hurt in those wounds just as you'd do for him.

He will be fine with the fact you love God more than anyone… yes, even him… because he knows that is what's best for you and as married to God's daughter he himself wants to care for and love you till the day he dies.

**********************

Love looks you in the eye, 
in the darkness of your room 
and meeting your gaze 
says with steady assurance: 

"I love you. Even when you're late, stubborn and mad. I love you for you. I love you in your struggle, your doubts and worries. I love you in your regrets and hopes. I want to kiss the spots that hurt from your past and heal them with warm kisses. I am here everyday and love you now and in the future."

He will love you as you are. 

I promise. 

You don't have to change 

for a man to love you. 

A boy will look at you always searching 

for what you could improve upon, change or do differently. 

But A Man Won't. 

Love doesn't say: 

"You're less than because you have ADHD, etc." 

because that's hurtful. 

Love doesn't say: 

"You need to change this for me to like you or love you"

 because otherwise I'm just tolerating you. 

Love doesn't say: 

"If you loved me you would do this or that…" 

because that's manipulation. 

As Women… 
When we are progressing towards the best version of ourselves each day, when we aren't comparing ourselves to any other women but instead who we were last month, last week or yesterday, we are living a life of happiness and satisfaction. 

When we realize acceptance doesn't come from a man but from God we have stopped subscribing to the world. We already have God's acceptance. A real man will delight in who you are and who you are becoming and love every inch of you in between. He will value you, keeping you near and dear to his heart even when you're not by his side… because when he sees bits of you sprinkled here and there in his life… when he sees your hot pink bra hanging on the doorknob… when he finds your peppermint Chapstick buried in the bed… when he catches a whiff of your brown sugar body wash in the shower… when he already knows you're going to be five minutes late before you even utter those predictable words to him…


He smiles to himself and thinks…


"That's my girl… just being herself and I love her."


© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

5 Tips For Wives Trying To Change Their Husbands: 

Here are some tips to keep in mind if/when you attempt to change him. Keeping these reminders handy in a spot like your vanity or desk will go a long way in staying cognizant of not trying to change your husband. 

1. Use words of life, not death. The second a criticism begins to form at your lips take pause and decide if this is really going to help. Will it build him up or tear him down? Will it encourage him or make him feel inadequate? 

2. Learn his language. Both of you can take a love language test by Gary Chapman online to discover what your love languages are. Make a concerted effort to speak his language more. He will notice. 

3. Make him look good. One of the worst things a wife can do is cut her husband off in conversation in public, interrupt him, correct him on facts and events, names, etc. Every time a wife does this it chips away at him, making him feel stupid. He may not say anything but his feelings will be hurt. With that, let your spouse know when you talk about him it's in a positive light. If you say anything behind his back make sure it's a compliment. 

4. Let grace abound. This is not about letting someone walk all over you or tolerating abusive behavior, enabling them, etc. It's about being married to someone healthy who just had a bad day… he came home grumpy about an incident at work and you don't try to tell him what to do… you're just there for him, happy to listen and let him vent if needed. He knows even if he goes about venting and griping you are there for him and a safe place to do it with. He knows you love him and he would be the same safe spot for you if the tables were turned. And he will have humility to say: "Sorry I was such a grouch tonight babe… just a bad day. Didn't mean to harp on. But thanks for listening. I love you." Just like you would do for him. 

5. Tell him how much you love him. Speak up. You have this one life, one chance to tell him exactly how you feel about him. He wants to know he's a good guy, a great husband and dad. He wants to know you would still choose him all over again and has your unconditional love. 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting and sharing!

Related Posts: 

When "Love" = Death: What I Wanted To Tell Her 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/09/when-death-what-i-wanted-to-tell-her.html

5 Acts Of Love: When A Woman Loves A Man 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/09/5-acts-of-love-when-woman-loves-man.html

Secure:  Just Be. Just You.

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/02/secure-just-be-just-you.html

Wives: 3 Lies We Tell Ourselves & 5 Signs A Marriage Needs Help

Parked in my driveway I sat behind the wheel in the driver's seat of my car… and waited… watching in the rear view mirror I saw the black four door sedan continue sitting, parked on the street in front of my house. With it's windows completely blackened out and not able to see whom was in it… my heart sank… I was pretty certain I knew what this was about… and thought back to the incident a few weeks before…


We had just had Christmas… it was only days past the twenty fifth of December…not yet the new year...  when upon checking the mail I discovered a thick white envelope and seeing the return address was from the IRS my stomach turned like it was suddenly sour… instinctively I knew something wasn't right and with quick hands tore open the top of the envelope. Inside I was filled with dread as I began reading… numbers jumped at me… how much we owed… how unbeknownst to me he hadn't paid the taxes… in years… I saw double digit numbers adorned with zeros jump at me… in shock, all the penalties that were adding up day by day, hour by hour, minute by passing minute.

Questions 

and 

Fears 

loomed 

ahead… 

How would we ever pay this much money back?

Why did he let this happen?

How could he?!

What was he thinking?!

Why didn't he say something?

Would we lose our house?

I waited and the sedan wouldn't budge… finally I sighed with resignation, putting the clutch in reverse, slowly backing down the driveway and passing the black sedan… only to spot it, sure enough, with sharp eyes focused on it in my mirror, the sedan pulling away from the curb as soon as I passed... it tailing me down the street. Making the turn out of our community and onto the main thoroughfare, I headed toward the grocery store weaving my way through foggy morning traffic. Upon pulling into the grocery store parking lot and into a parking space, I watched as the sedan pulled in two spaces down facing me on the opposite row. The man in the sedan sat, waiting me out, with dark sunglasses on. It happened in a flash, me exiting the vehicle in my coat wearing the collar popped up and him springing out to photograph me as I quickly tried to turn my head and the wind whipped, partially hiding my face as I strode away from the car toward the store.

***********

We sold our house and lost money on it… the anger, the hurt, the betrayal felt toward him in my marriage was there as well as embarassment. I crossed the yard for the last time and watched the moving truck pull away… headed toward the dismal rental we would call home for a few years. I had naively believed: "he screwed up… we just have to make it past this hurdle… this one hurdle… and then it will be okay again… we will be paying this off for a few years and get back on our feet… but he will learn his lesson"…


In a few short years with plenty of sacrifice we would get back on our feet financially… far better than before… but "lessons learned" and "no more hurdles" were just lies whispered in the wind.

THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES.

I had no idea how many more "screw ups" there would be to come over the years…


Marriage brings two imperfect people into a union… two imperfect people who undoubtedly also contribute challenges to the mix... of sharing a bathroom, paying off a mortgage, raising kids and meddling in-laws. There are the dirty clothes left on the floor, the whiskers in the sink that make you want to gag, the cookie crumbs on the counter alongside empty wrappers. If those were the worst challenges to cope with, to give grace and attempt to find solutions to… maybe it wouldn't be so "challenging".

But when a spouse continually shows you signs of what resembles teenage irresponsibility, downright criminal behavior joined with lies… when the "screw up's" just continue and never seem to stop… to just crop up again and again each time after the dust has just settled from the last incident…

You may begin to feel like you're riding a roller coaster of emotional havoc and unpredictability. It's bad enough to have your spouse feeding you lies and excuses on a silver spoon with a smile… but what's worse? The lies (excuses) you begin telling yourself. You may tell yourself…


He's really sorry, he has apologized. I have to believe that he's truly sorry... afterall, he's my husband. 

(Only problem is... this keeps happening. If he's a sociopath he's likely not done using you/gaining narcissistic supply, which would be the only reason he would ever apologize, due to needing more time to fulfill his goals, because sociopath's don't ever say "I'm sorry"). 


He really screwed up, but he's also going to learn his lesson… this won't happen again...

(Hopefully!... Right?!)


Were just going through a tough time right now… but it will pass and get better. 

(I mean, everyone has problems now and then, right?)


No, no, no…. this isn't about how he's typically late or how he can't stand a certain food you love, or gee, why can he not seem to remember where you keep the spatulas in the kitchen. This is about behavior that involves hiding information, withholding, lying, editing, or whatever you will call it… this is big stuff, this is behavior that puts your finances at risk, your family at risk, your future at risk, this is behavior that also leads to the same destructive path as cheating, to affairs, to a secret life behind closed doors you know nothing about… this is about an individual who lives with an indifferent chip on his shoulder toward others in society, who idolizes ego, status and image, who does what he wants, who does not care for his fellow man, who owes no one the truth and eventually has a chip on his shoulder toward you.. and who lives in a world that in his mind you will never be a party to because he doesn't share any more inner thoughts with you than his favorite cheese, his most admired mentor or his dvd collection. Getting in his mind and knowing what he's thinking is comparable to pulling nails from a stud only to find it's not possible. Figuring out why he continues to pull these inconceivable stunts and "screw ups" escapes you and leaves you scratching your head as they stack up one after another like wrecked cars on a dusty road.


As each incident piles up in your rearview mirror you think each time: "This is ridiculous!… again? He screwed up AGAIN?!" 

You stay 

because 

he's. that. good. 

He manages to wiggle his way back into your heart and you see all the good things he is doing and it's so much easier to just paint a pretty picture, tell yourself a lie, swallow the ones he feeds you… a picture of lovely fantasy that he is more than willing to help construct… where everything is fuzzy, rosy wonderfulness and combined with his way of explaining it all away… as if it's perfectly normal for everyone to have these life altering incidents continually pop up in life like an ugly jack in the box… he snows you and you buy the ticket to another subscription… another chapter, another year, another five years and however many "incidents" and "screw ups" along the broken way... like a busted street hitting the potholes that he promised would be fixed… or maybe they are fixed, just enough…. just a few feet ahead… like a mirage it glimmers ahead all shiny and new… only much to your dismay for you to get a little further up the street to see the gaping potholes once again.

It's time to put on the brakes, remove our sunglasses and take a good look at the street were on.

Signs Of A Marriage In Need Of Help Despite The Lies We Tell Ourselves:

1. You both no longer share the same concerns. If you have an issue with something, let's say your finances, taxes, budget, etc and how their spent or handled... or perhaps your health has taken a recent nose dive and you're seeing doctor after doctor trying to get a diagnosis. If he's not concerned about the finances or for you and your well being... those are both big issues that need to be addressed. If he's acting like your valid concerns over the finances or your health are anything but valid but more like just your problem... then yeah, you have a huge problem. With him. As a couple, you should both be invested in issues that crop up as partners; together, ready to take on anything as a team and see the other spouses concerns as a concern for you both. If you feel alone in your marriage, it's time for a good hard look at the big picture. It's often so easy for us to get caught up in the day to day activities of life, especially as women multitasking.... caring for our children, homemaking, cooking, errands, work, that often conquering merely another week at most is preferable over seeing what lies ahead further down the road.

2. He's pulling away and his behavior is distant... unlike how he used to be. He could be emotionally and physically distancing himself because he's cheating... if he's mentally caught up in another relationship much of his energy will be dedicated to that and he may seem not as involved, as immersed in family life and connected to you. If he's suddenly seeing friends for lunch or going to the movies alone or traveling more for work... even working overtime these are red flags that something may not be right.


3. If you aren't both working toward a common goal; a healthy marriage and open communication. Then your marriage is on rocky terrain. It's time to get back to basics in communicating and problem solving. It might be a good idea to make a list of things you can talk to your spouse about… positive topics. Then make a list of topics you have difficulty sharing with him or that seem to be a continual source of friction. Mentally rate your marriage on a scale of one to ten… one being the lowest score and ten being the (best) highest score. Do you think your spouse would agree with you or would his score be lower or higher? Set some time aside for you to both discuss how you feel and share your lists... it may confirm that marital counseling is needed.


4. A lack of intimacy in the relationship. This is always a red flag and if one spouse is pulling away it could indicate a lack of trust in the other person on their part. If he's consistently not home when he says he will be, if he is continually pulling irresponsible stunts that jeopardize the family, if he's condescending toward his wife, abusive, even neglectful… it will show up in the bedroom. If he's checking out the single women in the waiting room of his pregnant wife's ob/gyn doctor's office or anywhere else… there's a problem and disrespect is just one of them. If a man is treating his wife right outside the bedroom it will be reflected behind the bedroom door.


5. If your spouse has become the enemy. If your spouse has become someone you now view as on the "other side"… as an individual to do battle with, to "deal with", endure, tolerate, etc… this is not what the picture of a marital relationship should be. If you believe you are no longer working as a team, a united partnership… then that deters communication and intimacy. It's time to reflect on what brought you to this place and what resentments have been allowed to set in. If incidents of irresponsibility continue to crop up by one spouse it's not the job of the other spouse to play parent and continue to "fix" it, come to the rescue or slap a bandaid on the situation... it's time to seek help from a trusted Pastor or therapist. 

© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014 

To My Readers: 

Thank you for reading, 

commenting & sharing! 

Related Posts: 

Is He A Sociopath? - 20 Signs  

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/11/you-may-be-wondering-if-hes-sociopath.html

Cheating: Off The Narrow Path Step By Step

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/12/cheating-off-narrow-path-step-by-step.html

The Power Of A Man: What He Does Matters 

http://gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-power-of-man-what-he-does-matters.html