tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2266837281211217618.post7464249582890458995..comments2023-04-11T07:41:19.630-07:00Comments on GPS-Grace Power Strength: The Narcissistic Sociopath: They Are Only Trying To Help YouGPS-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13986848807336161254noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2266837281211217618.post-86622892251530388302015-03-11T06:09:38.708-07:002015-03-11T06:09:38.708-07:00Some people in these abusive relationships are abl...Some people in these abusive relationships are able to react calmly and cooly especially if while in the marriage it comes to light of what their dealing with... a Narc/sociopath. I know some have realized that their partners are personality disorder while married and having become informed are reacting with zero reaction to the verbal/emotional abuse, if anything to bide time until they have everything lined up to get out. That may certainly work for some. Each situation is different and not everyone has the patience, tolerance level for that, not to mention if your partner is cheating you're upping your risk of contracting an std in the interim. GPS-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13986848807336161254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2266837281211217618.post-37619865734605873132015-03-11T04:51:08.624-07:002015-03-11T04:51:08.624-07:00Certainly this kind comes in all levels of abuse o...Certainly this kind comes in all levels of abuse on a continuum. If for some reason you are in such a relationship and all things considered, it is not time, at least, not now, to get out, you can kindly and calmly look at him/her and say, "yes, I am a sinner, now what can we do about....?" or "How is this going to help?" Usually there is no answer. Do not engage in such game-playing. Refuse to go to the victim position. If it continues, just say, "Hum, I will have to think about that." No, it is not going to be a marriage made in heaven, but no one has that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2266837281211217618.post-78181252829951342842015-02-12T12:23:18.721-08:002015-02-12T12:23:18.721-08:00I was married thirteen years and I can totally rel...I was married thirteen years and I can totally relate to what you wrote about him wanting to change your clothes, hair, etc...I went through all that as well. It's truly amazing how they are all so similar, the high expectations, the perfectionism which is really a whole new definition of perfection and the condescending way they speak to their spouses, is anything but love. I'm so glad to hear you escaped him and you and you have gotten your fresh start. It's so important for women and men to get away from toxic partners like these. GPS-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13986848807336161254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2266837281211217618.post-75545618114884442982015-02-12T09:02:33.913-08:002015-02-12T09:02:33.913-08:00TRUTH! I am still shaking my head that I put up wi...TRUTH! I am still shaking my head that I put up with this garbage for 29 years. He began trying to change me the week after we were married. How odd that I was perfect up until then, but somehow the wedding changed me? Then there were all of his "expectations" and "helpful" suggestions about my appearance -- how I should style and color my hair, what clothes I should wear, what colors. When I made it clear that I would look how *I* wanted to look and dress in a way that made me comfortable, his response was, "Well, I guess I have to remember that you're a schoolteacher, not a professional." I kid you not. Never mind that my salary was supporting us.<br /><br />Please note that I am 5'10", still wear a size 10 (even after three pregnancies), and have always looked 10 years younger than I am.<br /><br />Once he realized that trying to change me physically wasn't going to work, he started on my personality. Too rigid, too repressed, too controlling, too inflexible -- all of which applied to HIM. Then I was too loud, I drank too much, I didn't care about our relationship (Actually, that was pretty much true by this point. . .). Eventually, I was just flat-out crazy.<br /><br />Know what? I'm none of those things, and our counselor validated my feelings and actions. There were times that I was tremendously hurt and confused by things that he did and said. However, it may be a good thing that the marriage, such as it was, lasted as long as it did. Had he left 10-15 years earlier, I would have been spinning, wondering how I was going to raise my kids alone. When he did finally leave, I was just relieved!<br /><br />He did find it necessary to depart with one final, totally uncalled-for, totally untrue remark that was meant to wound me to the core. It didn't, but it did convince me that he cares about no one but himself. I just told him that he was beyond the pale and to get out of my life. <br /><br />If I could go back and advise my younger self, I think I would have kicked him out the night that he announced that he was having ELECTIVE surgery two days before Christmas. I had a 5-year-old, a two-year-old, and both families coming for the holiday. But it was a convenient time for HIM. Well, it was postponed, but I think I can date my realization that I was married to a narcissist to that night 22 years ago. UGH.<br /><br />Anyway, to anyone in the position I was then, I would advise that they GET OUT. These people will not change. They see no need to. They use you as long as it suits their purposes and could not possibly care less what they are doing to you. Fact.Rebeccanoreply@blogger.com